Do you think my opinion about relationships is wrong?

Question

My fiancee and I were recently arguing about love and such, he old me that he hopes that if we don't work out I find someone that I am crazy about but they don't want anything to do with me and it breaks my heart. Fyi that is how he says I am with him but he is just really sensitive. Anyhow I replied with that it would never happen because I will never be so attached to anyone where I feel that my life can not go on. I think that life goes on and just because this one thing did not work out doens't mean that my life is over, it may hurt but the world is not going to fall off of it's axis. He said this means that I will never truly love someone. I think my view is very realistic... Opinions

He is a Scorpio, he is insecure, I on the other hand am very secure and he has known me for almost 7 years and I have never been someone whom would constantly babysit someone's feelings.

Answer 1

I think what you are expressing a very healthy and stable attitude. It may sound harsh to him, but being secure in yourself in no way reflects your ability to love. You can maintain a strong sense of self and still love somebody with all your heart. The one constant thing about life is that nothing ever stays the same. That includes where we live, our jobs, our opinions, our friends, our family, and on and on. As people, we are always dealing with the sense of loss and new beginings and the same goes for relationships. In order to survive emotionally, we have to have a good idea of who we are, separate from who we love. You're fine.

Answer 2

The world does not end because a relationship fails but if you look at many of the questions in this section it obviously can feel like the world has ended.
The more intense a relationship is and the more hope and faith we put in it the more it will hurt if it fails. You are right to think that life goes on after a break up. The problem is that it does not go on in the way we planned and hoped for. Like your fiancee, I have an unrealistic and romantic view of the world.
Expect nothing and accept whatever comes with joy is probably the best philosophy, I only wish that I could do it.

Answer 3

Actually no. Because whether a person believes life must go on or not, it has nothing to do with falling in love,since love can happen to anyone. But understand that he is your fiancee and probably he's just misunderstood. Try to find out what makes both of you argue in the first place.

Answer 4

You are the stronger, more self-sufficient person in this relationship, and I hope that you can continue being that way. You don't want to be so dependent emotionally on someone else that if that person leaves you, you can't go on. It sounds as though your fiancee is that type of person. But, you know, in every relationship, one person is more involved than the other, most of the time. I was once like your fiancee in a relationship and I got hurt. Now in my present relationship, I have your attitude, and it is much better this way.

Answer 5

As a matter of fact it is quite mature. Marriage is not a total abandonment of who you are although many people say that now you are wife and he is a husband. You are also a woman who understands that a sense of who you are and your relationship and view of the world is critical. You are defined by you, not by anyone else.

What your fiance said about your abiltty to never truly love someone speaks volumes about his own insecurities. I belive exactly the opposite. You are a woman of great substance and a woman to be loved.

Answer 6

Well, it's really uncool and insensitive of your fiance to say that to you, but I can understand where he's coming from. He's getting "love" and "need" mixed up. Your view is more objective and rational, but love itself is not always rational. It's more important to try to be on the same page with each other and come to some mutual understandings between you with these big issues rather than try to figure out who's right and who's wrong.

Answer 7

is he perhaps a gemini or pisces? anyways, my advice to you - reassure him of your love. show him in romantic ways that you love him - he may be thinking that you don't love him as much as he loves you. it sounds yuppy, but there are those people out there who love deeper and harder than others. i agree with you that life goes on, but i understand where he's coming from because i am that way. i do love very deeply and hard. reassure him of your love.

now, as for what he told you - you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. ask him why he feels you are what he said. he is feeling insecure more than likely. it would help him if you up-ed him on his insecurity and made him feel confident about himself. but you need to talk it out. things said like that are hard to let go and it hurts. tell him that as well.

Answer 8

sounds like you have a healthy and realistic view, but your boyfriend is full of spite.

If you do break up, you will be able to get on with your life, but he will wallow in pity and anger, having a hard time ever finding somebody to love him or want him

Answer 9

Your right, he's just trying to make you think no one else would want you but him. He's scared that you will leave him and he wants you to be dependent upon him. He knows your strong and is just trying to beat you down. But you know how to stay ahead of that game!

Answer 10

There is a difference between need and want.

I love my husband but i don't need him to live, but i want him in my life like i need him.

This isn't your answer just my opinion.