ours was an arranged marriage.......?

Question

i was 21 then. i am married for 2 nd half years. I am still a virgin. initially i was not ready for sex since i wanted to know my husband first. but later i was open to it. i had liked him but had a feeling tht even though he says he loves me i have never sensed. today after presurising he comes and tells me tht he had an affair with another girl be4 marriage. and the girl had said never to call her again. my husband says even after marriage for some 8 months he was not able to come out of the hatred feeling on her(since he felt cheated) and tht is why he was never able to get close with me. throughout the marriage i have felt tht he never sharedwith me or even when i shared things with him he was least intered in listening to it. but even after marriage there have been occasions where they have exchanged sms or thought of gifting.he now says tht he has changed and from today he ll only love me and tht i shd hve confidence in him. can i trust this person who never had me in his heart.

Answer 1

so do you have strong feelings for him? what's changed? just the fact that he was dumped and he wants you now?

I have a very good friend of mine shes from India and her marriage was an arranged one she now has 2 small kids and she told me she doesn't have strong feeling for her husband and never had, she was forced to get married with who ever her parents wanted and now shes thinking to divorce her husband because he had an affair but hes not with hes lover anymore and he wants to come back to her, but she says she knows it will be very tough on her taking care of the 2 children but she will never take him back and I support her decision because in the end its her life her feelings at the gun point.

so you do what you think its best for you and what makes you happy.

Answer 2

Dear Vaishna,

Arranged marriages are not all that different from marrying for love and many times work out extremely well. Indeed, cooler heads have thought over whether the bride and groom would be compatible and whether the groom will support his bride and, in many cases, whether the dowry brought by the bride is an amount that will allow the groom to get off to a good start in marriage and life together.

If you will give your husband an honest chance and if he will do the same for you, if you will give him respect and he will return this courtesy,then love will grow. True, deep love does not have to have its roots in lust. Many young people today feel that love should be based on their sexual encounters. Unfortunately, they wind up confused and miss out on loving for the right reasons. Then, they are surprised when the "love" doesn't last.

Remember that you get from marriage what you put into it. If you honor and respect your husband, you will receive it, if he makes the same genuine effort that you make. You have already spent over two years in this marriage. Give it more time and make it clear that a genuine effort to be a loving and kind husband is what you need and be certain that you return those feelings to him. You should do wonderfully well together if you try.

Good luck... Don't be afraid to enjoy being married. :)

Answer 3

how can you be married for 2and 1/2 years and not have sex??? just have sex with your husband and maybe he will be more open and caring.

Answer 4

YES. absolutely. because he is your husband. sometimes, when people give your their word & promise, you should give them a chance to make that change for the better.

Answer 5

No...you obviously didn't even pick him. That's why parents should stay out of their children's sex life's....how would they know whats right for you??

Answer 6

Let me into your heart

Answer 7

no

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