My g/f is pregenant and the baby isnt mine but we've been dating since she found out?
long story short, i just got out of engagement, and she wanted to be with me, but i told her i wasnt ready. she got with this guy then when i realized that i was ready to have a relationship again she dumped him for me, but not even dating for 2 weeks and she finds out shes preganent. the baby's father doesnt really come around, ive been supportive since day one, and want to help her raise her babygirl. even though she's not mine, i feel like she is cause ive been here since day one. besides her i was the first one to feel the baby kick, ive been picking out names, ive been doing the shopping, and planning with her, not the baby's father. she is now 8 months. but i dont know if she wants me to be "involved" as much as i would like to be, and its an uncomfortable topic to talk about, i want to know, what i should do. we've only been together for 7 months. i want to raise her like she is my own, but im afraid to ask. what should i do?
2007-01-09 18:05:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I never really got past the part when you told us that you were a lesbian and that your girlfriend's baby wasn't yours.
2007-01-09 18:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by balderarrow 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
The last line in your question . . . " but I'm afraid to ask ".
This is not a gay, lesbian, bi or straight issue...it's an issue of your sweetie was pregnant with anothers child, now that baby is 8 mos. old and your sweetie is acting aloof with you regarding the baby.
In all relationships communication is huge. . . If you're ' afraid ' to have some uncomfortable conversation with your sweetie. . . then you should re-think the co-parenting of that baby.
Being a parent is not for the faint hearted or ' fearful '. You think this is tough ? ! . My, my, my...raising a child is both a magnificent joy and challenge. Mine are ages 13, 17 and 20...what a joy, gift and . . . adventure ! (smiles).
Afraid of what you might hear or learn from an uncomfortable conversation? So what. Aren't you already uncomfortable and 'afraid' with not knowing ?
At least by 'going in there' and opening the communication to the conversation you will have clear answers. Like the answers or not...no matter..at least than the 'fear' and discomfort can be dealt with and moved forward from there.
2007-01-09 18:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, first off...it sounds like she is not fully decided to be a lesbian in every sense of the word, or she would not still have seen a male.
This is a worry. Why? I'm worried that you might be getting attached to her baby, and when it is born, and things don't go perfectly down the line and she leaves you for a man, your heart will be broken.
The law is awful in most states concerning same sex couples and childrearing. It does not allow a partner to have joint custody once a child's biological parent splits up with them.
This means ten years down the line, when little Michael, or whatever you plan on naming him, leaves with his mother, you will have NO rights. Not even if you raised him from day one, and poured your love and entire life into his rearing.
It's awful...I know, but you should consider all this.
Your feelings do matter.
It's great if you get involved, but you have not been with her long enough to know if she's stable.
Find a stable girlfriend. A lesbian who wants what you want. Stay in the marriage a few years and then plan a baby...easy enough to accomplish pregnancy nowdays.
Then, you will know it's stable enough to rear a child in.
I hope it helps...:)
2007-01-09 18:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
if she didn't want you to be involved she wouldn't be involved with you be honest and tell how you feel about the baby remember never say as your own cause she will feel like you want to take the baby away from her. tell your so happy about the baby you love her and will do anything for the baby i love it like it was ours even though its impossible. it is possible to have feelings and you need to share these feelings with your partner honesty is the best policy
2007-01-09 18:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are u afraid... if u know she is not urs ... then accept this reality and dont think her as ur own but raise her as the daughter of ur wife. many people many woman who are already married and has become widow or divorced and has children. they grow their children but they dont claim that those are their. so do the same.
2007-01-09 18:14:51 · answer #5 · answered by classic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a life.......If you never ask you will never know but be sure of your own feelings first
At best she will say yes and at worst No Either way you will know how you stand
GOOD LUCK
2007-01-09 18:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by dugg1935 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk about it with her, how the hell do you expect to raise a child together?
2007-01-09 18:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you just asked that question in another way had people thinking you were a guy and you are a girl. that's not good to be misleading if you need help just be honest.....
2007-01-09 18:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by jakhiamylove 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sorry i wasnt realy listning to allot of stuff u wrote but if your girlfriend is pregnate and u dint do it somthing is wrong right off the bat. that is if u dont except it but if u do dont worrie about it
2007-01-09 18:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
get rid of her you smuck. The two timing b itch left you for a man.
2007-01-09 18:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by Big C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋