long story short, i just got out of engagement, and she wanted to be with me, but i told her i wasnt ready. she got with this guy then when i realized that i was ready to have a relationship again she dumped him for me, but not even dating for 2 weeks and she finds out shes preganent. the baby's father doesnt really come around, ive been supportive since day one, and want to help her raise her babygirl. even though she's not mine, i feel like she is cause ive been here since day one. besides her i was the first one to feel the baby kick, ive been picking out names, ive been doing the shopping, and planning with her, not the baby's father. she is now 8 months. but i dont know if she wants me to be "involved" as much as i would like to be, and its an uncomfortable topic to talk about, i want to know, what i should do. we've only been together for 7 months. i want to raise her like she is my own, but im afraid to ask. what should i do?
2007-01-09 17:44:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
just go straight at it now, there is no way around it, sooner or later the conversation will get there. better now then after a while more. just ask her. it is important, because it does show that you are serious. you are a nice guy to be interested in it.
2007-01-09 17:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by David 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're an amazing person for wanting to do this and she is so lucky to be with you. I don't think you really have to "ask" her if you can, I don't know why she would say no unless she is still involved with the baby's father or if she wants to be involved with him. Most guys would not react the way you have, so she is probably confused and wondering if you really are happy and accepting about this or if you will change your mind later - she probably just doesn't know how to react right now. If you've been together for 7 months and the baby is on it's way and she's still with you..she's probably hoping it will work. Reassure her that you're not planning on going anywhere and that you want to have a relationship with her and the baby forever, in case it hasn't been made obvious yet. Once the baby arrives, she will see how supportive you are and will probably love picturing the three of you as a family. Good luck!
2007-01-09 17:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by Grace1228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK im not trying to be rude but i just read this.. i know im not going crazy? Why post it twice just with just one detail change? Straight or Lesbian. if you care about the person. SAY something. otherwise your looking at a road of hurt. What if when that baby comes daddy actually wants to be part of babies life? Its hard to give advise when im not sure if your a guy or girl. Im assuming girl since your last post. But seriously.. talk to your girlfriend. The most she can say is 'No i dont want your help' Its is her baby. What happens down the road tho when maybe she decides she wants to go back to men? Theres a lot of things you need to concider! I really hope things work out for you. I really do! I'm just a bit confused since it was posted once.. most assume you are a guy. heh and the next your saying lesbian. (Nothing against that tho!) Its just easier to give better advise when you know the bigger picture!
2007-01-10 02:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by alysza81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude! OK Kudos for being willing to be the dad. But this is vital! This the rest of your life, and her life you are talking about.
Talk with her. Do it now! Raising a kid is an MINIMUM 18 year commitment. This is not something where you get another chance. Be 100% clear about your role and her expectations about your role. If you make an agreement, put it writing. If the biological father shows up later, you need to be protected, and so does she.
Again- good for you for being willing to be a Dad. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 18:00:22 · answer #4 · answered by roscoedeadbeat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely I honestly have a million son from a previous courting & my husband extremely head over heels LOVES him soo a lot & I cant brag adequate about how a lot of an staggering father he's. My hubbys very kinfolk oriented & i'm very blessed.... His actual dad is a useless beat & i dont even comprehend or care the position he's. It basically relies upon on the guy & what style of guy he's or if he's a guy in any respect & can carry a pastime to help his kinfolk & also continuously contain the little ones & go out & do issues as a kinfolk. the alternative is yours will you adore this toddler like he/shes your human being thats the tremendous question. good adult men are not hassle-free to come back by way of and & regrettably so are good fathers.. yet its extremely as a lot as you & the female I dont comprehend what style of ppl you 2 are she received't be a good human being to get tied into??stick consisting of your coronary heart.
2016-12-28 14:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by allgaier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that it is uncomfortable for you, but the subject is going to come up. Im sure that if she doesnt want you to be around she would have told you already. But since the sperm doner is not around, and you are already being a father to the child, she might want you to be around. It is good that you are doing this. It will show her that you will be there if you get her pregnant. Most guys when they hear the word pregnant they run away with their tail between their legs. I honer you for being there and taking this on. That shows signs of a good man. Congrats.
2007-01-09 17:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by M C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to sit down and talk with your woman on this one. Maybe she's secretly hoping you would be willing to step into that role.
IMO, it's not the biology that makes the dad, it's the time and effort into raising the kid that makes the dad.
Takes a big man to step up into the role of wanting and supporting a kid that isn't even his, and I find that to be a great thing. Makes you a real man, in my book.
I hope she says she wants you to stay a part of their lives - and even if you don't work out, try and stay a part of the kid's life. He'll always need a dad. Kudos to you for wanting to be that dad.
2007-01-09 17:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow! that is so sweet....
Seriously just tell her how you feel - ifshe is a decent girl and cares for the best interest of her child and the father obviously isn't interested at all, then she should be very flattered that you would want to take on this responsibility - it is extremely difficult raising a child and if you are willing to help and support her and her baby then i say tell her...
2007-01-09 17:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come right out and ask her! I know you may be afraid to, but it's the only way you will get the answer you seek.
My son's dad is not his biological. We met when I was 3 months pregnant, but he's the one who stepped up to the responsibility. He told me he wanted to give my son his last name and sign the birth certificate and by all legal rights be his "father", so we discussed it for 5 months and I ended up letting him adopt him.
Just ask her sweetie!
You know the saying, any man can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy.
Good luck and I wish you well.
You would truly be a Daddy!
2007-01-09 17:54:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is past time for you both to sit down and have a serious talk. That way you will both be on the same page. If she is going to walk after she has the baby you might as well find out now.
2007-01-09 17:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋