My sister has been married for just over 3 years now. Her husband is absolutely childish & it seems that my sister has now become a mother to him! He had a troubled childhood & I believe that he is verbally abusive to her. She has totally changed and never laughs anymore... They are not even intimate anymore! What happens to my sister, happens to my family because we love her! It looks obvious that they should get a divorce (no children), but are there any other solutions? He is not agreeing to marriage counselling :o(
2007-01-09 17:20:31 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it's hard to see someone you love hurting and going through a rough time. But unless she has made up her mind to leave her husband, you and your family pressuring her to do so will only add the the stress she is already dealing with. Maybe you should suggest some counseling for just her, it will help her deal with the situation and teach her coping skills as well as prepare her for the emotional distress she will suffer if she does leave him. If she has stayed this long then she obviously loves him and has hope for him and their marriage.
2007-01-09 17:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to work on the marriage, there is no other solution except to get a divorce. Unless your sister finds the caretaker role draining enough to want out, there is not much you can do. Although I understand you love your sister and don't want to see her suffer, there is not much you can do, except be a shoulder to cry on now and again. Don't get overinvolved and let yourself be dragged down by your sister's problems with him. Unless the abuse worsens to a point where your sister's health and safety is seriously compromised, keep a healthy distance from the problems she's chosen to take on. If the situation becomes physically threatening for her at any point in the future, then the family as a whole should intervene and let your sister know that you're not ashamed of her (because that might be a reason she holds onto this marriage), and that you support any steps she takes to improve her situation (that is, by leaving him).
2007-01-09 17:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show your sister support and let her know that you are there for her.
She might be getting something out of the marriage that you cant see.
Whatever you do, dont tell her to divorce him just let her come to that conclusion on her own.
Do tell her that you are worried about her as she seems less happy and tell her that you will always be available if she ever needs to talk...She will really need your support right now so do go to her house as often as you can and be polite to him (you dont want her to think that you hate him so that she wont think you are biased when she does finally ask you what she needs to do!)
2007-01-09 17:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like they said...sadly its none of your buisiness...like you cant do much at all but tell your sister how you feel, or what you think and keep an eye out for her and if she gets pOED she'll forgive you and hopefully she'll notice too that her marrage is a sham and finally leave the sad bimbo of a husband so she can find true love and you/your family can finally put to rest the issue and know that shes safe-happy-and free from a bad marriage.
2007-01-09 17:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by SEBchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW wow wow.I just read my exact situation.I'm married three years to a guy who had a rough childhood who cant even wipe his own a** without me and i have to mother him...he yells at me constantly,we are not intimate,he refuses counseling or to take medication or anger management classes...but my only diff is that i have two children involved so i am stuck...get your sister out before it gets worse....sounds like he finally broke her and feeling broken is a horrible feeling and the sooner she gets out,the sooner she can "fix" herself...save her before its too late.YOu cant help him...he doesnt want to help himself and she needs to be good to herself or she will never be any good to others and will just grow to resent him.
2007-01-09 17:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sadly this is your sisters buisness not yours and you can not do a think about it. Only wish you could i know im in the same postion. my sisters bf is a schziophrenic and hes also a jerk. we have tryed numerous times for her to dump him but you cant do nothin you have to let them work things out for themselves. just be support when you can but you cant scarfice yourself let her go thru it she will learn eventually.
2007-01-09 17:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to pack up and go. If she does not agree just stress the need for her to get/stay on birth control.
2007-01-09 17:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋