I'm engaged to my best friend of 10 years. We grew up together as little kids. Although we have a great relationship, everyone tells me "Oh, well when I was young and didnt know anything, I thought my marriage would work out too, but it didnt. You may think you know everything because you're young, but when you get MY age, you'll see that marriage doesnt always work out just because you love each other." I HATE this! What do you say to that? Its so rude! I get it all the time! He's the only boyfriend I've ever had, and we've been dating for 5 years without a breakup or anything and just adore each other, what is thier basis to think that it wont work out? And why do they think its thier duty to tell me?
2007-01-09 17:00:05 · 12 answers · asked by o 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Plain and simple---BITTERNESS!
2007-01-09 17:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is sad.... It's like saying "You might not succeed, so why try?" Don't let them get you down!
Some people just get really bitter, they start believing that no one's marriage will work out. Those are the people who only focus on the divorces. How often do they go around telling you about their friends who have been married for 20 years? How often do they tell you when they hear that someone got divorced? Exactly.
As long as you care about each other, that is step one. Step 2, go to pre-marriage counseling. That will give you a good idea if you are ready to get married.
But the bottom line is, if you both work together, and work hard, you can make anything happen. :)
Congrats!
2007-01-11 07:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by Nova Dragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are so committed to each other and are planning your future together. Do not let others weaken your confidence. Doubt is the worst thing you could have in your marriage (maybe not the worst, but it won't help!). Anyway, people who have had a bad marriage are often jealous of those who have good relationships. They prefer to think that ALL marraiages are bad so that they don't have to admit fault on the part of their own failure. Ignore those people. If they say something stupid and unsupportive again, tell them not to comment on your upcoming marriage if they can't say something positive or supprtive. Afterall, marriage is difficult enough without negativity from others. Good luck to you, stay confident and strong together. Best wishes!
2007-01-09 17:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe people just say stuff like that because their trying in their own little selfish way to tell you what could happen. But every marriage is different and it's gonna be what y'all make it and if you love that man and he loves you and both of y'all are ready then what everyone else thinks doesn't matter. Some people may be bitter and miserable still from a marriage and feel the need to tell you what happen with them thinking that they are saving you from a big mistake but every marriage is different and as i said it's what you make it. Congratulations and Good Luck to you!
2007-01-09 17:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have enough negativity that it just flows out of them sometimes. Your response might be; "well, you were wrong about that marriage and now this one too".
It is tough, and no mistake. If you don't know whether to laugh or cry, laugh. Pick your battles wisely. Stand up for yourself, don't let little annoyances become big ones. Most of all, don't lose yourself in it. Good luck living out your dreams.
2007-01-09 17:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that. My marriage hasn't worked out very well but I know many very happy couples who have been married over 25 yrs. and still going strong. People prob. say that because of the highly publicized divorce rate. Also, they feel better thinking it happens to everyone. That way they can feel the failure is not their fault. Just tell them, "We are not you and please, only positive comments". Then just smile. Too bad if they don't like it. They are being rude, not you.
2007-01-09 17:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe they are mad because thir own marriage didn't work out, but don't let that stop you from being happy. Just reply to them that you have your own mind and know what you are getting into
2007-01-10 08:39:42 · answer #7 · answered by 1982 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say most are bitter and jealous, with maybe a tiny percentage wanting to sound helpful.
2007-01-09 17:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People whose marriages have failed are often bitter and
misery loves company...Others failures make them feel justified...
Ignore them....Lots of marriages work....
2007-01-09 17:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their jealous or they dont believe in relationships lasting forever.
2007-01-09 17:14:28 · answer #10 · answered by Got Curves? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them it's not your fault that they and their ex didn't give their marriage their all and it failed. You had nothing to do with that.
2007-01-09 17:14:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋