Girlfriend is repeatedly abused by ex-bf ... What can I do?

Question

BACKGROUND: Well, my girlfriend had been dating this scumbag for a year who consistently beat her, cut her, and eventually drugged and raped her at a birthday party. Her parents noticed bruises, etc, and after being hospitalized for the emotional trauma he caused her, she got an order of protection.

PROBLEM: Her Ex has her same lunch period at school. She calls me frequently saying that he had abused her in some way - sitting next to her and inappropriately touching, pushing her into the lockers, elbows, etc. The school reprimands him with hour detentions, which do nothing.

My first instinct is to kick his cowardly asss to the moon- I live 45 mins away- seems too aggressive of me to plan my day around assaulting someone.
I have called him with warnings (seem to work for a couple days). I have called his parents.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
If I were to meet up with him and, say, break his nose- physical yet minor- what's the worst that would happen to me legally if he pressed charges?

Answer 1

did you say repeatedly? why does she keep taking this abuse. maybe she should call the police since the school isn't going to help her.you called his parents, well the apple dosent fall far from the tree. and what about her parents where are they. If she keep letting him do this to her then this is the kind of guy she will always be attracted to. she needs serious help, unless she likes what is happening to her.

Answer 2

Document everything.
Is the restraining order in effect? Have the police been called in?

Sounds like the school is not doing it's part either. Is he special to some school official? Have you tried speaking with school board members?

I don't know what state your in but Missouri has a program for people who are abused by their partners or ex partners.
The program is called ALIVE 1-800-941-9144 [e-mail]

Maybe they can give you some suggestions. This is their specialty.

Answer 3

It sounds as if a restraining order should be aquired to keep him from being anywhere near her. I can't believe her parents aren't at the school raising heck about the continuous badgering after all she has already been through. Don't do anything yourself. I understand the want and need too in your own mind, but that will only get you in trouble and still not totally solve the problem at hand. I would think the school should be well aware of this situation already and stepping up on their own to also do something to ensure that he does not get near her.


Good luck on this.....

Answer 4

It become extremely annoying analyzing this. i'm no English instructor, yet it truly is undesirable. As on your question... are you an fool or some thing? 3 strikes and also you're out. You had your danger and now it truly is over. settle for it as a loss and flow on. There are different women folk accessible. in spite of the undeniable fact that, i do not comprehend in the experience that they are going to positioned up consisting of your sh!t.

Answer 5

Here's the thing, 1st make sure your girlfriend isnt just telling you all of this because she is craving attention. Trust me they will do that. Then if it is true just making phone calls is a little weak man. Like he is going to listen to you. I'm not recommending violence or anything but calling and say i'm warning you isnt going to be effective. She needs to take care of this situation herself it sounds like to me. If he really raped and beat her why is he in school and in the same class??? think about it man. she is prob pulling your chain.

Answer 6

First off if your 18 dont break his nose you could get some serious legal charges second have either of you contacted the police and told them that he is not staying away from her and thrid why the hell have her parents let her stay in the same school as this a$$h@le?!?!?!?!?!?

Answer 7

Break his nose when nobody is watching and then it's his word against yours...just say you never touche him and get an alibi for (someone to lie for you) for when you were breaking his nose...

Hon, you better be sure you can take him, last thing your gf needs is him hurting you too, also don't kill him that is something the police will actually investigate and you might end up in jail...Broken nose, well, they might not take it as seriously as murder...

Answer 8

first off - where are her parents involved in all of this???? that's my question. i'm sorry, but if she were my daughter, i'd pull her out of that school and relocate her to another one, put a restraining order on that son of a ***** and make sure that she goes to counciling as well as defense classes. beings that you are her boyfriend and you obviously care for her, you should talk to her about telling her folks about the whole situation. if that doesn't work, YOU do it. if she gets pissed off - so be it. it is for her protection. the last thing you want to have on your mind is if he beats her so bad that she dies. take responsibility. and that doesn't mean beating the guys ***. besides that, do you honestly want to have charges filed on you that could be on your record for life?

Answer 9

if your girlfriend has a restraining order against this guy report him to the police,if all of your other efforts have failed. talk to the police before this guy does something worse to her that can't be undone,most people who are abusive have had an abusive situation in there past at some point or another.and unless they get help there abusive behavior will only escalate. sources: personal experience in my own past

Answer 10

the best thing for you to do is, yes be there for your friend but, I don't think it would be good for you to take on action (coming from a legal perception). When your friend is being abused she needs to call the police the second she thinks it's going to happen. She doesnt need to let him get away with these things.