Hey music lovers, what do you think?

Question

Rough, unfinished lyrics. What do ya think?

Give into hate
Give in my dear
Open your gates
So you can hear
The words I cannot place

Read my mind
'Cause I can't tell you
You need to find
The hidden value

Answer 1

Give in my dear
Open your gates
So you can hear
The words I cannot place

Read my mind
'Cause I can't tell you
You need to find
The hidden value

Of what you made
oh, what weve been
But you cut me with your hate
you're living in your own sins

ou left hanging on,
to nothing that could be,
and now im singing this song,
trapped in the memories

so give into the pain,
give in my dear,
forget my name,
till you can fear,
the pain in my face

all lyrics except the first two verses are the property of jviejou, and are not to be used without his direct written consent. lol not that youd want to use them :P

Answer 2

Actually I quite liked it. I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective. Interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of the poet's compassionate soul, which contrives through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever it was the lyric is about!

Answer 3

Meh, in my opinion not good at all, but honestly a lot of stuff isn't good now. Put a catchy beat behind those lyric and you'll be fine.

Answer 4

Pretty good Needs a little work but pretty cool

Answer 5

ummm..ok..sounds like you are scratching the surface of something..looks/sounds more like you are writing a short poem than a song.

Answer 6

The beginning is seems to be a little emo...no offense