My wife just doesn't want sex. She won't allow me to see her naked unless we are having sex.?

Question

I trust my wife, she dosen't sneak around or hide things from me. She demands a lot from me, like money that I don't have to much of and she demands that I fullfill all of her needs but she can't even fill my first need. I need physical touching and I need her to tell me how important i am to her, none of witch are hardly being atended to. I may not be the perfect husband but I try damn hard and I get very frustriaghted when my needs are toltialy IGNORED. I want to do every thing for her but when we talk about sex she gets very emotional and we get no were. PLEASE HELP. I have had about enough.

We do not have kids. Every time that I try to talk to her about my problem with this she gets very upset and refuses to resolve the problem. I am willing to do what ever it takes but I have not seen any thing on her part that tells me that she fells the same. I know that she is not confortable in her own skin and she says nothing happened during her childhood.

I do try things of course, I am not MR. ROMANCE. If there are really so may things that have to be done in order to have sex with a female then I find it hard to belive that humans even exsist. Really, it's not like I go to her and just say have sex with me now. I have had many girls before and not had a problem suducing them.

I basicly want to know, am asking to much? Do I have a right to talk bring this up? Why the hell must i always be there for her, but my needs are not important?

Answer 1

EEEK... I'm hoping that you've tried discussing this with her? And if she still isn't interested in being intimate than there is a problem. Maybe she's bored? Maybe she's not getting satisfied? But I don't understand why she demands your money.... does she work?

Answer 2

Grow up! This isn't about your needs it's a relationship, it doesn't sound like you're a very good communicator either. When you want to have sex with her do you kiss her and tell her you love her or are you just going through the motions for your satisfaction (I bet the ladder of the two)? The fact she doesn't like being naked with you unless your having sex doesn't surprise me either. Have you ever heard of masturbation? I think you would be better suited for that (frustration over). Why don't you be a little more understanding and see if she would be willing to go to sex therapy for the two of you. Please quit thinking about all you do for her and how she should repay you with sex (very immature of you). She may have had a bad experience with sex. Good luck and calm down or you won't help her with this and you surely won't help yourself. You picked your mate now deal with it like a man.

Answer 3

First of all, if she doesn't like you to see her naked, she is probably insecure about her body- which makes her nervous about sex in general. Men and women view sex differently- for women it is very emotional and for men it is very intellectual. Women, for the most part, value the foreplay, the caressing, the touching, and the "closeness". For men, for the most part, it's about the gratification, the finale. You say that sex is our "first need" which puts a lot of pressure on her to perform and please you. If this has become a topic of conversation and it becomes very emotional as you say, it is ony adding to the pressure. Do you do anything to help her ge in the mood? Or do you just expect in and get angry and disappointed when you are rejected at first efforts and then it becomes a topic of even more pressure? Are there other stresses in your lives that are interfering with her ability to relax? Try romance? Get a sitter (on your own, don't expect her to make all the plans), make plans for dinner or plan a dinner at home. Run a bubble bath and let her enjoy it alone. Then offer to help her towel off and give her a massage. You may be surprised how a woman can respond if all the stress to make plans, prepare and relax are taken off her shoulders. Most of us would respond to that and then return the kindness on another day to show our appreciation for your thoughtfulness and planning.

Answer 4

If y'all have kids at home maybe that is overwhelming to her if not maybe she feels insecure with herself. If you haven't tried to talk to her you need to tell her that you love her just the way she is and she don't have to be ashamed of anything with you. It's important to talk to her about the shyness and not wanting to be naked around you unless your having sex. Because she may be really insecure with her body and may feel as if you may not want to see her naked just talk to her about it in a sensitive way and if that doesn't get any where you may have to seek counseling if she's willing to try. Good Luck!

Answer 5

There is a reason behind why your wife does not want sex. It could be something to do with her childhood or her expectations of you are not what she hoped for. I have no idea. I can understand your frustrations and I am sure your wife does too. You need to tell her what you want from her and if she can't give it to you then you need to know why. If she will not talk to you then I suggest you ask her to see a counsellor.

Answer 6

It sounds like maybe she is having issues with insecurity and that is why she is pulling away emotionally and in the bedroom. I would suggest to try to open the lines of communication again, because whatever the problem is, it has to start here. I would start off by telling her things to reassure her of your support in the relationship, how much you love her, that you support her, that she can trust in you. Hopefully, this will be the prelude that will allow her to open up this time. If she still seems to avoid the topic other suggestions would be counseling or you would have to be left to assume what her hangups might be. Sometimes women withdraw from sex because they feel insecure about the way the look or for even feeling neglected emotionally. Are you consistent with words of affection and other ways displaying intimacy besides sex (i.e. holding hands, loving hugs, kisses on the cheek or forehead, you know those nice endearing kisses). Remember that when a woman feels safe, loved, sexy and beautiful to her partner the more attractive she feels, the more likely her interest in sex will be.
Sometimes women pull away, because she also is feeling let down in the relationship. Could there be other things she may be harboring resentment for? Could you be letting her down in some areas of the relationship? I am only suggesting this becasue I too, became very frustrated with my husband regarding his lack of help around the house. I ended feeling like he was my teenage son and I was his mother. And ultimately, these feelings of resentment manifested themselves in the bedroom. It's hard to be intimate with someone you are angry with, even subconsciously.
Relationships are such a delicate balance, and often has a domino affect. When one partner feels neglected it forces them to act out, which then causes the other to do the same and all for a lack of communication. When both partners are feeling safe, secure and loved it's easy to be blissfully in love. When you're married, you are forced to go through the ebb and flow of mariage. Be patient, and remeber when you begin to feel frustrated, that there will be a time too, when you wouldn't want your wife to give up on you when you fall short of her expectations as well. This being said, it is a fine line between being a supportive spouse and becoming her doormat. Only you know if she truly is a good women who is worthy of your support. Hope this helps a bit. Best of luck.

Answer 7

First of all, I'm glad you care so much for your marriage to let this out and ask for help. I understand your frustration completely because I can tell this is hard for you. I think that your wife may not be comfortable in her own skin and she may feel ashamed about something. I think you may need to sit down one night of the week and talk to her and find out what may be wrong with her. Ask her to speak openly with you and whatever it may be, you two can get through it together. Let her know how you're feeling just like you did above and allow her to express her feelings. I hope this works out for you, Good Luck!

Answer 8

tell her how beautiful she is, how much you adore everything she does, when she goes and gets things for you demand her eye contact when you say thank you, i really appreciate you... then if she still pulls away that means trouble... also telling her thats she's gorgeous naked, and a great in bed that yu need it i think will help, women are very tricky creatures, we need to be seduced in the head before you can touch our boding, and never ever offer to give her money or more money as it were in return for sex, that will make her feel invaluable or worse.... like a hooker

Answer 9

stop pressuring her about sex instead build her confidence about her body with compliments treat her like a princess run hre bathwater light candles rub her back or feet with no strings attached this may take a couple of months but do it with genuinity and i bet you she will give you the buns then if she don;t she is crazy speaking from expirence

Answer 10

The simple answer is that she needs to be open with you about the issue. It could be poor body image on her part (she doesn't like the way she looks), or something else.

You may need to seek professional help if you can't resolve it on your own, which is far better than getting divorced or fooling around.

Answer 11

Um I disagree, I know for fact that your wife does indeed love sex, and is actually quite good at it...She was instantly attracted to my proper spelling and grammar...