2007-01-09 15:58:38 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
- If it's all the same to you I won't be coming to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
- When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
- I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
- My stigmata's acting up.
- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?
- I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...
- I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Wal-Mart
- Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with AT&T, but thank you for calling.
- Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
- I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come in to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
- The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
- The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
- I prefer to remain an enigma.
- My mother-in-law has come back as one of the undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
2007-01-09 16:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by NickofTyme 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
-- "I was helping the FBI chase Osama Bin Laden in my backyard, but after we tackled him, we discovered it was really just the paperboy."
-- "I'm not late. I was already here today. This is how early I am for tomorrow."
-- "I can't come to work today. My mother's bike got trashed at the Hell's Angels rally and she took my car to go buy drugs. I should be getting it from the impound this afternoon. Oh, and, can I get an advance on my pay?"
-- "Sorry I'm late. I was on Yahoo! Answers all night and overslept. Do I get ten points for having the best excuse for being late? If not, I can go back and edit it."
2007-01-09 16:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My fish got sick and I had to go to a specialty store x miles away to get the medicine. Then I had to do a water change on a 75 gallon fish tank. If the fish dies I have to remove the body instantly or it will contaminate my fish water and my other fish wil die. It's a salt water tank and the water has to be perfect. The fish are expensive to replace. (use angelfish or lionfish if they ask too many questions..) as for reciept for meds. It cost x dollars and I didn't have it so my brother bought and took the reciept with him. He needs it to give to his wife cause she balances the ckbk and if he doesn't have reciept he forgets to tell her about the purchase... Do Not give all the details listed unless prompted by your boss or you sound a little too fake. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-09 16:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My wife is in the hospital having a baby.
I was out in the parking lot throwing up.
The good news is both of these can be verified.
The best course of action is to be on time for work. If you are a solid worker and turn up late or can not make it. You will not need a lame excuse.
2007-01-09 16:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by is4031_us 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How about just not being late or absent?
2007-01-09 16:02:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My lovely friend Down Under needed consoling following her Near Death Experience.
2007-01-09 16:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by PomOnTour 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. i was arrested
2. dog peed on me in the street
3. got run over by a wheelbarrow
4. had to stop 4 a poo
5. lawnmower broke down on the way
someone at work sayed she was hit by a taxi at the station but she was a lying ***
2007-01-09 16:19:10 · answer #7 · answered by ms vicci pollard 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The problem is if you are coming up with an excuse every week, you can be terminated.
leave the house ten minutes earlier. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier
2007-01-09 16:08:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell the truth. If you find yourself being late a lot, you dont really like the job all that much. Find a job you like.
2007-01-09 16:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Smart 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It has to be something that can't be checked out and something that couldn't be helped.
Flat tire
Ran out of gas (car has faulty gas guage)
Dog took off and you had to go find it.
Traffic
Up all night for some tragic reason and overslept (keep focus on tragic reason for not sleeping)
Anything to do with a kid (sick kid, slow kid, kid forgot something he/she needed for school, etc.)
I've got a lot of these :-)
2007-01-09 16:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋