he has 2 children that he obviously likes to spend time with. i have 2 of my own and like to do things with them as well. But, I like to try to get all of us together and do things. He on the other hand likes to do things at the drop of the hat. I may hear from him first thing in the morning, I may not. He may text me...i return the text, and then I don't get a response for 5 or 6 hours. I have no doubt that he loves me. When we are together, he treats me like a queen, but its the getting together part that is hard! he always seems to have things to do. Most of the time, the only way we get together is if I plan it. i don't know what the deal is. i don't know if its all on my head?Am I being needy? I just don't know.
I have done everything for him and his children...and I think that may be the problem. I am too available! I am too convenient...cause they all know I am always here. Am I expected more that I should...maybe because I am ALWAYS available? Would love some input!!
2007-01-09 15:42:37 · 3 answers · asked by alybama76 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know how long you guys have been together so it's a little difficult to surmise what his issue is with his elusiveness. If you guys have only had a dating relationship for a short time, I would suggest that you pull back and wait for him to make the next arrangements for plans to see eachother. Perhaps, you are coming on too strong and things are not as serious to him as they are to you. If he truly cares about you, it obviously won't be long until he finaly takes charge and MAKES the time to spend with you.
However, if this is a long term relationship, I would suggest you talk to him about this, if you have'nt already. There could be lots of reasons he seems inconsistent. It may be that that is just his personality and really isn't a planner and has always lived spontaneously. It could be that the dynamic has already been established that you are the one who makes the plans, and his role is to willingly abide. Maybe he is still dealing with issues from his prior marriage and divorce and needs to establish a sense of independence because he was damaged from the last relationship. He may not be ready or willingly to be so committed to anyone yet, and perhaps he feels strongly for you and this scares him. In either case, communication is always important, for him, for you and for the kids. Understanding why he seems distant at times enables you to help him cope by not adding more stress to the relationship, or understanding that it's nothing personal. You won't have to harbor any illegimate baggage when it's not necessary. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 16:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you've made it too easy for him, then make it a little more difficult. Don't be available and don't plan things. Let him make the effort. And don't sit by the phone hoping that he'll call and make some plans...go about your day with your kids.
2007-01-09 15:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every now and then it is good to not be there jut to let some know they can not take it for granite.
2007-01-09 15:50:12 · answer #3 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋