My husbands mother is a little bit annoying and bossy and she is an ex school teacher so she treats people like kids and students still. I don't really get along with her very much as I resent being bossed around so much and 'questioned' all the time and I just want to know how to deal with her better so that I can stick up for myself a bit without being too much of a nasty person! How do you stick up for yourself nicely?
2007-01-09 15:40:51 · 10 answers · asked by Jules 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Answer her any way you wish, just say it with a big sincere smile. She'll get the hint, or she'll think you are insane and back off.
2007-01-09 17:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is bossy and annoying, that's who she is. She may be a teacher, but she is also disrespectful to others.
Who says that you have to get along with her with the way her behavior is. The best thing for you is to not be around her if she treats you like that. You have that right. This is not about getting back at her, this is about respect.
If you are invited to her home with your husband and kids, if you have kids, then just be polite because you are in her home. If she comes to visit you, husband, and kids, be polite. But, if she starts disrespecting you in front of your husband and kids, then that's when your husband should pull her aside and have a son and mom talk. If he does that, he is your HERO! If he doesn't stick up for his you, then you didn't marry a real man. But, if she starts treating you mean or disrespectful and don't do anything about it, you are teaching your kids that it is okay to be this kind of person.
And if you do something about it, then you are actually teaching your kids that this type of behavior is not tolerated. (A good lesson for teaching) Hopefully when your mother-in-law gets the hint, she might start teaching it to her class!
Remember, just don't stoop down to her level, you are a better person than acting like her. That's who she is, you can't change her, she does the changing herself. (smile)
2007-01-09 15:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you get lucky and get a mother in law thats the next best thing to your own mom then sometimes you get a dud which sounds like what you have.. I am one of those people that believes firmly in expressing myself when someone is pissing me off so I say light her up like a fire cracker one good time then she will know that although you have respect for her as your mother in law you will not let her run all over you.. There is no nice way to tell someone off who is use to getting away with bossing other people around and never being told off for her actions!! Your husband can't get mad otherwise he should have put her in her place hisself!!!
2007-01-09 15:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jazzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When asked a question that you don't want to answer or you feel is inappropriate, simply say "I'd rather not discuss that". If she asks why, state it again. She'll get the message.
By the way, I don't do well with putting up with people I don't like. I'm respectful when I need to be but I don't make an effort to be nice.
2007-01-09 15:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can firmly but nicely tell her how you feel. If you find that is difficult, try carrying a stress ball around in your pocket and giving it a good squeeze when she pisses you off. Another thing you can do is resort to the "Serenity Prayer"
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
Saying this can help you have more serenitiy and be calmer so you can better handle her mess. Good luck, hope this helps.
2007-01-09 15:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Hippie Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 favourite sayings when someone is questioning me about things that are not relevant to them: What are you? A copper? Or, It's only on a need to know basis & you don't need to know. I always say these with a smile on my face so no-one gets offended & I find it normally makes them change the subject. I also have reminded people that they are in my house & should respect that I may not abide by their opinions.
2007-01-09 23:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask her to meet you in a mutual place and talk to her about how you feel. She may not even realize that she is being annoying and bossy. It may be a misunderstanding that no one wants to talk about so your both tolerating it. If not be respectful but tell her you really don't want to discuss that.
2007-01-09 15:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, by keeping an emotional distance. You don't have to be nasty - just be distant. Yes, it's a pain in the neck to always be watching what you say around a person you see a lot - but it happens in all kinds of life situations; this is one of them, I guess.
2007-01-09 15:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look her straight in the eye and tell her you're not some kid sitting in her class room. And what's up with questioning you? Why does she want to know for?
2007-01-09 16:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignore her. look, you're not a bad person so whatever she says, don't get affected with it.
2007-01-09 16:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋