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Is it ok to be married and miss going out to parties, their are times when I just I wish I could have wait to get married and enjoy life more. Any advice?

2007-01-09 15:24:14 · 15 answers · asked by Cutie 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

15 answers

There isn't anything wrong with the way you feel. Feelings are just feelings. I might feel like I want to smack one of my kids. Nothing wrong with that as long as I don't *do* it. What you do is what matters.

Personally, I never much understood the desire to go to parties and drink and be around people who are drunk or on drugs. Spending a quiet evening with a spouse would rate much higher on my list. And that might be a place you'll settle into as you get older.

All I can say is if you act on your feelings, I don't think your married life is going to be real successful. Will your spouse go out dancing with you? Or maybe there are parties you could attend with your spouse?

And just because you're married, doesn't mean you can't enjoy life. Maybe you need to review the reasons you decided to get married in the first place. What did you hope to gain from marriage? Are you getting that? If not, maybe it's time to see how realistic your expectations really are. If they are realistic, then it's time to talk with your spouse and let him know what you were hoping for. No spouse can give you everything you want but any good spouse will find places here and there where they can go the extra mile for you. Make sure you do the same in return and you'll get a good thing going.

I read where people told you to "grow up" and that seems a bit offensive to me. I'm looking for a polite way to say the same thing. I do think this stuff goes away with time, if you'll let it. You're at a new chapter in your life, the good stuff is in front of you, not behind you. Let childish things go into your past and keep your memories of them. No need to go there again. You're married now and you'll have new experiences that will be enjoyable.

If your marriage is not enjoyable, then talk to your spouse about marriage counseling. Marriage can be a good thing if both of you put some effort into it.

Good luck to you.

2007-01-09 15:42:39 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0 0

You can't help yourself from feeling the way you do, and there's nothing wrong or unusual with having regrets. This doesn't make you a bad person or a bad wife. What you actually DO is what is important. If you start going out with others this is cheating and it's wrong, but dreaming of doing it is actually quite normal. I think you should find some new activities and interests that are appropriate and safe, and learn to appreciate the good things you have.

2007-01-09 15:29:38 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny K 2 · 0 0

As previously stated you ARE married and DATING other people is really not a good idea. It is great to go out and have fun. You can go out with your husband or with other friends that are also out to have a good time. There are so many things that you can do. Just because you are married does not mean that you are not able to have fun. Marriage is a great thing when two people agree to enjoy life together. The key word is ENJOY. Ask your husband to take you dancing or to a movie. It can really be rewarding. Good Luck

2007-01-09 15:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0 0

I have some advice,
Wait a few years then get married to get this out of your system.
Oooops, you did get married.
Guess you have to stop missing that stuff. You should not have gone thru with getting married if you weren't past that stage yet. Looks like you'll just have to supress them feelings. You made your bed, now its time to sleep in it.

2007-01-09 19:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0 0

I think you should have thought about it all of this before you decided to get married. The one thing I hate more then anything in the world is people who really aren't ready to leave behind their single life to tie the knot just for the saking of saying they are married.. You really sound like one of those people to me I mean otherwise you wouldn't be longing for something that you supposedly gave up to go to the next level in a relationship!!!

2007-01-09 15:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jazzie 2 · 0 0

Honey! You're married! That means you've got a date whenever you want one... you two need to get out and do the things you're wanting to do!

2007-01-09 15:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by sweetredbeachlvr 2 · 1 0

It doesn't make you a bad person as long as you don't act on it..Make plans with your spouse and have a great time together.Get together with your married friends and socialize.

2007-01-09 15:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Lety 7 · 0 0

Did you marry at a young age?If you do,you are not over with the stage wherein you enjoy to have a lot of fun.Talk with your spouse about this and maybe both of you can just go out together and have some fun.

2007-01-09 15:58:24 · answer #8 · answered by Pet 1 · 0 0

talk to your husband and tell him you want more excitement but don't cheat be honest and see what you to can do together to make things better .
try making a date night with your husband that one week you pick where you go and the next week he does maybe that will help .good luck to you and god bless

2007-01-09 15:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by sadeyez 3 · 1 0

Your going to have different feelings during your marriage, but the truth of this is you got married for some reason, find that reason and go party with your man.

2007-01-09 15:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0 0

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