This is not an invitation to a gay bash.?

Question

if you are not gay you don't need to add your two cents. And my questions are not intended to offend gays. I have a gay son. And I am only trying to get an understanding. Onlly serious answers can win. Now. What makes Gay men without feminine traits prefer guys instead of women. I have learned about the feminine ones. (A little bit.) now I want to understand the rest. Please No hate mail. Thanks.

Answer 1

to the concerned father, i commend ya on your willingness to try and understand. i will try my best to explain on your terms.
say you are attracted to skinny barbie doll looking women,
i am more attracted to the not so skinny meaty women beautiful eyes that get my attention first.
we can not chose who we are attracted to.
we have no control over who gets our attention(politely put).
my life would be so much easier if i was attracted to men, but
im not, the lady at the insurance office is attractive and classy.
those are the ladies that get my attention.
with my mom i had to explain, we do we use an attachment
if we dont want a man, its not the man we want, but with our bodies we enjoy different things, and if you are blessed with a partner that will go to whatever length to please you, then you are blessed.
there is some truth to women know what women want, and a man knows what a man wants.
dad, respectfully said, just make sure your son is still your buddy.
and he will need some help along the way, if all you can do is listen, please do that. my dad is my best friend, and i look up to him. i treat others the way i want treated and im good to the ladies that enter my life, cause of my idol my father.
he is a mans man, nothing sissified about him, nothing sissified about me either. just like with a hetero couple, u are manly in public, but in private with your wife, you are considerate and kind
and very loving with her. manly gay men in public are very much the same with there partners.
with me, its the body parts that gets my attention, but its the eyes of the woman that captures my heart.
i hope i have helped you, feel free to email me at logan6171

Answer 2

being gay is no choice. just like being straight is no choice. there are alot of straoght people who say "i choose not to be gay", but that is a false statement. they did not choose their sexual orientation no more than they chose their gender or race. no matter how feminime or masculine a person is makes no difference. it all boils down to the same thing. when a child is born from a man and woman(which is the only way i know of--haha), they are given both testosterone and estrogen. straight men have more testosterone than estrogen and gay men have more estrogen than testosterone. now gay men do not have enough estrogen to grow breasts or anything, if they did that would make them a hermorphidite(spelling?). gay women have more testosterone than estrogen and vise versa for straight women. the amount of estrogen a gay man has either makes him more feminime or masculine. but also remember that their are other chemicals in the body that make some one straight, gay or bi. it is not all hormones so therefore hormone therapy is no cure for homosexuality. if your son is a masculine male than he must have enough testosterone in his system to make him masculine, but not enough to make him straight. the main thing to remember is that your son, nor anyone else has ever chose to be gay. this is the way we were born and we need love and support from our family and friends just like everyone else, if not a little more due to social behavior towards us. just love your son uncoditionally. he is the same person that he was when he was a baby and he will be the same person when he is an old man. do waste the very little precious time we have on this earth trying to figure out what is going on and why. spend that time with your son and your family and friends. hope this helps. take care and God bless.

Answer 3

I'm going to try my best to answer your question (and based on your previous answers/questions, this seems to be a genuine question).

As one of those gays who doesn't really have any outwardly "feminine" traits (i.e. no hand motions, voice, affinity for shoes, etc.) aside from an ability to cook and an impeccable taste for good fashion (no, not really, but I like to think so), I'd have to say that I'm attracted to guys (more "masculine") because they seem stronger and I find their body more sexually appealing. A great guy can be tough and strong but still has a heart that cares and knows how to love somebody deeply. There's something reassuring about the strength of a male combined with inner tenderness. I don't find women to be sexually appealing but can still get along with most of them great.

Why I feel this way?
Well, I was just born that way and that's how my brain is wired. I find men to be attractive in a way that heterosexual men find women to be attractive.

Answer 4

The outwardly traits of the subject really do not effect the choice of men they prefer, only the ones that prefer them. Some feminine men like feminine guys, and some like masculine. Vice versa as well. It has to do with taste and what your son would prefer. It will make itself apparent in time which he prefers. The best thing to do is accept your son's choice and let him find out for himself.
To end this with a smile. You will benefit either way. You will either have a nice garden, or things always fixed around the house. Hope this helped.

Answer 5

Here's the deal...I'm curious what you've "learned" about the feminine ones. And also..what exactly are you asking. Gay people are gay probably for a variety of reasons, but there is no conclusive scientific "a-ha" answer. There's biological influences, at least, but that's all we got. My money would say, though, that if there is an equifinality involved, and multiple reasons for someone to be gay, that there aren't necessarily strict seperations between "feminine" and not gay men. And, I gett that you're honestly trying to understand, and I applaud that, but I think you're in dangerous territory. Sidenote: PFLAG tends to be a much better, and more reliable source than random anonymous people on the internet. ;)

Answer 6

Good evening, I hope you are well. Nothing makes them gay. Orientation is hard wired in the brain in the womb. No one did anything. It was G-ds plan for this soul. Your job as a parent is to let your child know that you are his father and since this is how his life is going to unfold then your fondest hope for him is to be the very best gay person he can be. Encourage him not to be promiscuous, not to be anyone's doormat, to do all those things you'd want a straight son to do like education and career. And when he finds that special someone to bring that guy by for your inspection. You see, just because some men find love with other men it doesn't make them any less of a person or change the status that he is still your son. He is your son, you've got power. Use it wisely and he will grow to make you proud. You did nothing to cause it, no one did. Now that you know what you have its how you use it that will distinguish the relationship you two have for the rest of your lives.

Answer 7

I'm 53, bisexual since puberty and have been close friends with gay men all my adult life. I actually know very few who are feminine in any way. What you are referring to is an exaggerated behavior based on a man's impression of how a woman acts. Seriously, how many women do you know that have those same behaviors. I'm betting none.

to tell you the truth most gay men I know are as masculine in appearance and behavior as most straight men I know. I think its like anything else, it depends on who you hang around with and the social envirionment of that group.

Answer 8

This is a serious question and deserves a respectful answer. I don't think anybody really "knows" why guys like guys. There are lots of theories but the best answer is probably gay people are just "wired" a little differently than straight people. Not right or wrong, just different.

Answer 9

How old is your son.
When was this inkling that your son reaslise he was gay. Him liking boys his age or older.

I realise I was gay in my early teens.

My brother is also gay.
He was dating a girl in his college days and were a couple for many years. Then they split. Many of us and their friends were surprise. Same firm, different departments.

Currently he is seeing someone.

How I came to know this? Him being gay? He spilled the beans (no pun intended) when both of us were in Thailand attending a close family friends wedding.

Myself, there were girlfriends but not as steadies. But loving, caring and wanting to settle down with the same sex partner, well..... give him and yourself space. Let both of you grown and understand him.

He wants to be accepted by you and give him that advises now & then when required.

GS04 :)

Answer 10

Simply because. I have a friend who is gay and he prefers men simply because he doesn't prefer women. It's not a "I like guys's hair more" or "I like guys's voices more". It's just that they do.