should i dump this friend?

Question

well he only hangs out with me like once every 3 weeks, and when he does, it seems like he wants to be hanging out with other people. in a normal situation i would get rid of him in a second, but this is not a normal situation. i am gay, and i sort of like him a lot, partly because he doesn't care i am gay. also, he seems to know of my feeling for him, but he just blows them off... i think he only hangs out with me over pitty. i think he feels bad that i don't have a lot of friends. he's always busy with other friends and literally hangs out with me less than twice a month. i was just wondering what other people might do in my situation....

Answer 1

he is clearly just using u as a back up friend.as in if he needs you or when he has no friends to hang out today,he will come to u n he will be extremely nice to u and all that.but when he has friends around he will ditch u for hte day - kinda theory.you can tell him how u feel.as it is he knows your feelings towards him n he should reciprocate to it by giving his opinion abt it n not by blowing u off coz u hv feelings towards him,thats so insensitive.he was your good friend he would not do such a thing like that.

Answer 2

Dump this friend because of what? He doesn't hang out with you enough? There must be more to this. If you are gay and he still likes you and doesn't care, why would you think he should be dumped? Is he only coming around to do you or get something from you? If so, then yes, dump him. But if he is coming around every so often and hanging out with you and you have nothing else to do, whats the big deal. Seems you could use the company and frankly my dear, having friends who know us and still like us, is pretty dang nice! If he wants to be hanging out with others, why doesn't he? Why don't you have some interesting conversation discussing what you think of one another? Of things? You have nothing to lose and may gain some valuable insight into why he likes you, why you like him and may enjoy your friendship a bit more! Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm not a know-it-all, but it sounds like you'rw attracted to him in the physical sense. Sounds like you've already answered your own question, that he doesn't seem to care that much about you. You really have two choices: you can ask him what the deal is, or you can just move on and be around people who make you happy. You don't need to "dump" him, why waste the effort? Just stop giving him a call. If he wants to hang with you, he'll put in the effort.

Answer 4

Firstly, you should not put your conditions of friendship. It seems to me that in order to be your friend one has to live up to your expectations - and that is not really healthy. Friends love each other for who they are - with all the baggage and faults. To be honest, it seems that you only want to dump him as a friend because you feel that he does not have the same romantic feelings for you as you have for him. Have you thought of the fact that he may hang out with you because you are a nice person and a good friend? Not to pity you? Most guys I know don't really hang out with each other every day anyways. They are not like girls in that sense that they have to see and talk to each other almost every day. He is being a normal male - it does not mean he does not want to hang with you. Stop putting unrealistic expectations on this friendship and just let the friendship take on it's natural course. You be the kind of friend to him that you want him to be to you - without the romantic feelings.

Answer 5

Dear, He just wants to be friends that is why he is blowing it off. You can have straight friends. Just accept who he is as he has you . I would not push him. You may be losing a good friend. Respect him for his decision of being straight, thats ok. Let up on him a bit. Be yourself without pushing the interest on him. If you just like him being around, respect his decision of being straight and never feel ashamed of being gay. Bottom line, if you enjoy him as a friend and his company, don't push the gay thing on him if he is clearly not into it. Just let him be himself and be yourself. You could find a great friend in the process. You may of been to pushy on your preference, that may of scared him off. Ease up if you were If you were, apologies to him for making him feel uncomfortable. If your looking for more in this friendship, its clear he wants nothing more, but to be friends. THATS OK!! You will find a companion that wants more then friends. I say, its always good to have friends that are diverse, it teaches you about life. Super question for the boards to answer. Be who you are don't let anyone change who you are, but in the process don't try to change who someone else is. :)

Answer 6

Yeah get rid of the loser. Y would u want to hang out with some1 when u think they r doing simply 4 pity?

Answer 7

since he already knows your intimate feelings for him, talk to him about your friendship. maybe he's busy, but there's still the possibility of him using you and treating you as an afterthought. if he's willing to change the way he's treating you, give him another chance, but clearly express your expectations so he doesn't walk all over you. if he walks all over you or uses you or seems to have better things to do, ditch him and find someone who actually enjoys spending time with you and treats you like a priority.

Answer 8

If he is not gay and not interested in you like that you are wasting your time. You deserve a friend who is a real friend, not part time. there are plenty of people out there who won't care if you are gay and really be your friend.

Answer 9

if he isnt giving you the time of day then ditch him. he also seems uninterested in a romantic sense, so you shouldnt hang out with him just because you like him. good luck! you deserve way better!

Answer 10

I'd still say he's a friend but only a friend. For a boyfriend find someone else that you really love and really loves you!

peace.
and good luck!