My White BF said I'm like a white woman in a Black woman's body. He meant it as a compliment. But, uh, how

Question

would you take that comment?

Answer 1

What your BF is saying poorly is that you are a woman who happens to have black (or brown) skin rather than a black woman. Isn't that what the civil rights struggle is all about? Wasn't that MLK's dream? Your skin color makes no difference to him.

Answer 2

Yes, I would even if my black GF said I was a black man in a white mans body. People can not always convey their feelings PC through words. Understand that the person probably means that you are not as different as society has led us to believe. If they say it again and it bothers you, be quick to clarify what they meant. Because I do not think they are calling you what you think. Or you can let racial tension come between you and what could be a very good thing.

Answer 3

What he probably meant is that you don't fit his preconceived idea of how black women act. That suggests he's got some stereotyped ideas about how black women act.

I'd calmly let him know that I wasn't entirely comfortable with the remark and I'd tell him why. My partner (of 12 years) is white and we occasionally have these types of conversations. The one thing I've learned is that we aren't likely to be sensitive about the same issues. Your bf may think his remark was perfectly innocent ad he may not think his beliefs about the way black women act are offensive, especially if he thinks they're accurate.

As long as you don't say it in an accusing way, he'll probably accept that, at a minimum, he could have expressed himself in a more sensitive way.

Answer 4

he probably meant it as a compliment but sometimes things like that can be an insult. maybe not to you but to black women in general. I am black and my boyfriend who is white has said something like that to me before. I just told him that he needs to not be to biased because believe it or not there are a lot of black women that are just like me. (Even though I knew he meant it as a compliment)

Answer 5

thats kind of an insult. everyone i know tells me that i act white and things of that sort, but personally i think they are degrading black ppl and putting stereotypes on races. if im articulate, so called "preppy", not ghetto, etc. why am i acting black? its an ignorant statement and subconciously your bf is saying that all black ppl act one way and you act another. and the fact that hes trying tocompliment you is even scarier...obviously whatever qualities you posses are "superior" to the average black person. thats how i take it.

Answer 6

maybe he meant your an oreo.....oreos have two different meanings where i grew up......either he thinks you have the sterotyped body of a black chick...or he means you act white and that's good....it's hard to explain...but i hope that makes sense

Answer 7

what is white? what is black? acting white or black is just a stupid perception in the minds of others who try to label people who stand out.
tell him you act like a woman and that is all.

also...those of you advising she does not act like the 'typical' black woman stop basing your observations what you see on TV. what is depicted is not 'typical'.
that is like saying that the chicks on desperate housewives represent all white suburban housewives, and i know it doesn't.

Answer 8

Really? What an...unusual comment/compliment.

Answer 9

What's he sayin' about "white women"? What's he sayin' about "black women". I am sorry. But, he surely didn't mean it, but that is an offensive remark, and uh racist...

Answer 10

"what is white? what is black? acting wh...." Shut up Zimmer110. You'd be saying the same thing too, if you had a black girl friend who acted white or at least wasn't as many people say: GHETTO, in your eyes. So, shush it.