I am married to my husband for 20 years, during the 20 years he was abusive to me both verbally and physically. He even insluted me in front of his friends and gets even more abusive when he drinks and smokes weed. We have 3 children, and for the past year, I met this guy who is interested in me. Do you think I should end the marriage with my husband and give this guy a chance?
2007-01-09 14:26:15 · 30 answers · asked by KerryAnn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should end the marriage if your husband is as bad as you say. Not for your benefit so you can run after some other man but think of your three kids. Use some common sense if your only worried about trying to get with another guy who is interested in a married woman by the way how in the world can you be a good mother. If your husband drinks and smokes weed leave him b/c your kids dont need that kind of influence. Also arent you worried about him being abusive to your kids next? You need to deal with the issues in your marriage first ask your husband to seek professional help then if you still want out find a guy who isnt trying to steal another mans wife. Start using your head instead of your sex drive for the sake of your kids. Good luck
2007-01-09 14:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by pinkjet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian man and I want to tell you that if you are a Christian then you know that this NOT RIGHT! GOD expects you to be different than the world. That is a sin. Your husband has problems and your children are seeing things that they should never be exposed to but that does not mean that you should abandon him for someone else. Get him in a Church Study of the BIBLE and work to straighten out your marriage and your relationship. This other man should not even be in your mind while you are married. I hope that this makes sense to you. BE a mother first and a wife second at home. Your relationship with your husband was a contract that was formed with GOD. Please don't play with it. My vows were a sacred thing... I hope that you consider yours to be also. Have a great evening.
Eds
2007-01-09 22:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend please be very sure before you come to any conclusion as what is the guarnatee that this new person is not like your husband.By the way how did you manage to spend that many years with a beast like him.It is your mistake that you have taken all these things from him without a fight and opposition.Also think about your kids as they also need you.Wishing you all the best.I think once again talk to your husband on this matter and tell him clearly if he doesnt improve you will dump him for a new guy.Then if he still doesnt improve the then look for the other guy.Bye and take care.
2007-01-11 00:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by s_mk2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should. No woman deserves to be hit on I don't care how mad he is or what state of mind he is in. He needs to learn how to keep his hands to himself. You have to learn to love yourself. You deserver the best and your husband is not the one for you at all as long as you let him do this to you he will do it. It is not giving your kids any foundation to go on at all. You don't want your kids to grow up thinking it is okay to be hit on or to hit on others you have to be a role model to you kids. End the marriage and the other guy take it one day at a time don't just jump into anything at all you need time to heal from his non man hood. You should be treated as the Queen that you are no less. When you leave your husband may realize that he has lost his everything and will try to get you back but keep him far away from you as to not get back with him. You do not want this abuse to end up killing you do you cause it may one day it is just a matter of time. Leave before it ends up worse.
2007-01-09 23:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why any lady or guy would allow themselves to be abused. Before getting into adultery, try to work out your problems. You have to be concerned for those children. If you do your very best to resolve the problems and it doesn't work then you need to consider what you can do. Are you working and are you self sufficient? Take time to think, don't waste your life with an abusive man. Good luck.
2007-01-09 22:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave your husband for YOU and your children's sake, not the chance at another man.....you are teaching your children that abusive behavior is okay. Do you want your daughter to think it's okay for some man to slap her around???? Do you want your son to think it's acceptable to hit women and verbally abuse them???
Get your self esteem back, get some counseling for you and your children and take some time to get your priorities straight. Learn to love yourself so you won't put up with that kind of treatment...
2007-01-09 22:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband has been so abusive to you, why havent you left the marriage earlier for yourself and your kids? Do you really need another man as an excuse to get out of this relationship? Yes you should get out of an abusive relationship- for another man, I dont know.
2007-01-09 22:34:53 · answer #7 · answered by Xedas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Define "abusive" really! Lately I've been challenging some of the women on here to describe the "abuse", and all it entails is that their husband disagrees with them! That's not abuse!!!! What has he done to you that you have not done to him? To answer your question though, No! Divorce is left for those who are really abused and for cheaters. However, you just admitted that you are flirting with some different guy, so that makes YOU the cheater! The word "Abuse" should never be used as lightly as you have done. It shows disrespect to those poor women who really are abused!
2007-01-09 22:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, I just wonder how could you stand for 20 years?
I know, children maybe the most reason you concern about, but you have right to have happiness, that's what money can't buy.
I will suggest you to prepare for your brighter future (including your chidren too) and get a step ahead, leave you husband as soon as you ready.
Just remember, don't fall in love with the same type of man (because many women tend to love the same type of man, just introspect yourself before you go), make sure that you know him better before making decision for marry him.
I wish you all the best, happiness are in your hands, not others.
2007-01-09 22:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if all u have known in your marriage has been abuse, and insults, than you should have gotten out of the marriage years ago. u need to end the marriage but wait until the divorce to have a relationship with the new man.good luck to u, u deserve a good life.
2007-01-09 22:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋