I'm 52 married he works a lot & empty nester.Recently gone through some major changes in life;child overseas;
mom ill; I was ill; remodeled home (shallow yes but stressful); "lost" a dear friend to alcoholism & 1 really disappointed me. Been looking for a purpose/friends in my my life for awhile and I cannot seem to find my niche. Work would be fine but spent most my time raising children and no one wants to hire me. I have tried joining a church, rejoining old friends, joining a book club- things like that, but I have not found any friends in which I have a connection. I've always been pretty popular, am attractive,a good sense of humor & try to be caring. I have faults of course but none that I know that would turn people off. I am a people person & treasure my female friends but the 2 I lost were my closest- the others are nice but it seems hard to build a relationship with them for 1 reason or another.No problems, just no connection.I like deeper women & many are not-only care about shopping, etc. Not used to this & lonely. Others like this? Suggestions? p.s, tire easily since illness
2007-01-09 14:16:38 · 14 answers · asked by angelina123 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Think of things that may have been (1) a fantasy (2) things you have an absolute passion for or wanted to do. What of those can you make into a reality. It is not unusual at your age to reassess your life and to find a new purpose for it. The purposes for which you lived you've outgrown, or no longer exist if you look at the things and persons you've spoken about.
That you do not find depth and meaning in shopping, etc., is a plus. Political causes perhaps can attract you. Look at volunteering for causes that excite you, or even seek employment there. Travel some if you can. A women's tour. It will take awhile to connect with groups and persons you feel comfrotable and connections with, but you will find it.
2007-01-09 15:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by PhD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I have gone through much of what you outlined. And I know first hand how difficult it can be to find someone you really do connect with. I too like deeper relationships instead of shopping.
I have found things I really enjoy doing on my own..................cooking, baking, crafts, computer, researching things that interest me............ But keep getting out among people too. That's the only way you'll find the right connection you're looking for. And maybe do some volunteer work in your community. Not only will you gain a sense of fulfillment in giving, but you can also form new friendships............and who knows, maybe find that right connection to form a deep friendship again.
Feel free to email me if you would like. :)
I wish you the very best.
PS...............Good grief! I just read the other answers too, and you would think we are old from the sound of some of them!! I am also 52. :)
2007-01-09 15:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have had a lot of change all at once. This can be overwhelming. You're also in a life transition with children leaving home and an aging parent. It is during these transitions people can struggle emotionally. You sound a little hopeless and maybe depressed. You appear to be withdrawing and giving up. Could menopause be a factor? Might want to talk to your Dr. about this and consider counseling.
2007-01-09 14:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What about taking a class through a local college? There's more and more mature students taking classes, so, choosing a a course that is a bit deeper might open the door to find others with similar interests.
2007-01-09 14:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by MrsBenji 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Volunteering! With kids, at a soup kitchen, at a shelter, etc. You'll find a lotta people who are in similar shoes as you. "Shop" around for a good cause. Ask to take a tour of where you will be working around the time you would be working and see the kinda people that are there. It's very rewarding and fulfilling.
2007-01-09 14:22:39 · answer #5 · answered by Torontonian1978 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are in another chapter in life. There will be self searching soul searching a search for what is meaningful. I've read just a bit of "Passages" (Gail Sheehy) she seems to understand the changes people experience.
2007-01-09 14:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by OTTO 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to some support groups----you can probably be more open about your likes and dislikes.
I have the same problem sometimes--what seems important to me doesn't matter to them and so on....
Oh my God....I just read through the other answers----you are not growing old. 52 is still young---I'm 37 and I feel like 52 is young.
2007-01-09 14:21:08 · answer #7 · answered by MamaCat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your new friends probably just can't compare to the ones you lost. i have a best friend, she is basically my only friend, so i can kinda relate to you. you just have to find something you enjoy, or someone you enjoy spending time with. keep yourself busy but not crazy busy. find someone you can have lunch with every once in a while. give yourself something to look to and don't hold people to the standards of your lost friends. i don't really care for shopping either. unless i HAVE to.
2007-01-09 14:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by brandi j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds normal.
Growing old is not for the faint of heart.
No one want to hire me, so far for a decent job, either.
2007-01-09 14:21:39 · answer #9 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think of something that will make you happy, regardless of what it is, and focus on making it a reality. Don't sell yourself short on anything you want to do.
2007-01-09 14:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋