Why is it that some people cant make friends and others are so popular?

Question

Why is it that some people cant make friends and others are so popular?
I just was wondering is there something in a person from the time their born to make them unpopular. Not shy but just something that keeps a person from haveing friends or keeping them. Is there also something that makes ppl more likely to be popular

Answer 1

I think a person's personality in general can promote popularity. I mean, someone who's more outgoing is more likely to have friends, right? And someone who's shy and more introverted will have trouble making friends.
Being a very private person could have an effect on keeping friends. Not being able to share secrets and confidences doesn't make other people want to do the same with you, and that's a big part of friendshsip, at least for girls.
Trauma at an early age would play a part too, separation anxiety issues that aren't dealt with, divorce of parents, abandonment, lack of social exposure as a child....the list goes on and on, really.
Unfortunately, in our society, looks play a part too. People seem to gravitate towards attractive people, whether their personalities are nice or not. At least in earlier grades.

Answer 2

I would say that this is really dependent on you. If you show others love and respect they will love and respect you in return. If you are cheerful and make others smile they will enjoy being around you. Unfortunately many of us spend too much time concentrating on ourselves and not on the other person and as a result become unpopular, whether this is from feeling good or bad about ourselves. I have been through being unpopular and hardly had any friends when I was at school but now have more friends than I can even spend decent amounts of time with, and the difference has really come from my change in attitude - when I stopped focussing on myself (why people wouldn't like me) and started focussing on others and showing them I liked them then suddenly I had so many more friends. I once read a poem which changed the way I viewed things and has made a real difference, the basic premise was "I wonder what would happen if you treated everyone like you were in love with them". This can have positive and negative consequences - firstly you may end up with a lot of guys/girls interested in you because you are acting like you love them when no one else is in love with them and so may need to be firm about who you actually date but other than that it can be a fantastic experience because the more you love others and show them this, the more they will love you in return. Take your eyes off yourself for a while and try thinking about someone else and showing them they are important to you and see what results you get.

Answer 3

I noticed the "popular" kids in school of course had all the friends BUT they lacked a true friendship. Their so called friends did nothing but talk bad about them when they weren't around and then change their tune as soon as they showed up.

I would never have wanted to be popular from what I witnessed. Today, 20 years later, many of those so called popular kids are having trouble even functioning in the real world. I have to laugh for these were the ones who made fun of everyone else including me.

Now I live the life of a dream and they suffer from trying to find real friends in a real world.
Aaaaaaaaaagh life is fair !! : )

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY !

Answer 4

ive been wondering along the same sort-of-line;

Short-termism is likely to be the close Companion of those
extroverts,who, are also likely to have the strong urge to "speed
- up" their communication or language. And not just this;for they
(the extoverts) need to have the facts immediately before them,
so to speak; i think they need and want to reduce the time of
their decision-making and thus always look-for Only Two
reas actionons or avenues-of-action, that can be taken.

Introverts tend to or are different; they look more and they
"check" more.
Introverts can understand the total importance of action,but

some dont Act immediately(out of instinct,if you like); and
i tend to believe this is the more correct and better

And possibly the popular darwinism we understand, today,will come to be seen as a pervasive,extrovert-ial and short sighted
science(fuelled by a few popular extroverts?).

Answer 5

I am in the popular group myself,

its not that people are born unpopular,

People are more popular because most of the time they are outgoing, never look bad, go to all the collest party things like that.

But being popular is the same as being normal but everyone knowns everything about you.

& it tends to be that in popular groups there are alot more bitching & backstabbing =s

Anyways hope that answered your question

Answer 6

I was in the 'in crowd' crowd as a teen (tho inside I thought the popular thing was kind of foolish), and since I have grown older I have a different opinion on this than I had in HS.
1) I do think kids/teens mature at different age levels and become more outspoken/secure with themselves as they grow older.
and
2) They come from all different types of backgrounds of peoples which also influence our personality and may even have effect on so called 'popularity' and some people are naturally outgoing while others tend to stay to themselves. This is ok.

My boyfriend was the football captain, l was kind of pretty and was very active in many HS activities... so I got to know a lot of people. I also became friends with people who were not in the 'in crowd'. I hated boys liking me for my looks and began to realize a lot of the kids were superficial... liked you for the wrong reasons.

What I have found since I have grown older is that often the 'ugly duckling quiet types' in High school become the most handsome/pretty adults and also the most successful. Both their looks and personalities blossom. Look at Bill Gates- he very likely may not have been the most popular guy in HS as he has a slight nerdiness to him. He is not unattractive as an adult and has become quite successful in life in many different ways. Many football players (not all) become fat men... because they exercise so much and bulk up that when they leave HS their routine of steady workout becomes eliminated. Many of the popular types have ugly personalities because they think that they are 'it'.

So what is popular in HS or early college does change as we grow older and our minds expand. The kids that looked to keeping their grades on track seem to be the ones who do well in their future life. Many of the popular kids know they are cute and falsely rely on this- think that because they look nice they have it made in the shade. Well, maybe they do... they stay in the shade of life while the quiet ones who studied and were smart enough not to be influenced by the in-crowd, move on into the sunshine of life and do well, as they began to watch out for their future while they were young.

Answer 7

Some people can't make friends because of their looks)ex. fat, sloopy, ulgy, body posture or oder, personality, habits).
Sometimes some people have a blockage in them that prevents them from expressing themselves in a manner which would be pleasing to other people. It could be something form childhood, a teen thing, work stress, or home stress.
It could be personal problems or perceived problems where actually there are none. It could be heritdy. It could be that they truely do not understand the art of actin friendly or normal.and there are in actual fact some people that no one likes immediately for no known reason. It happens .I've met people whom I did not like immediately and as I did not know them I had no reason. I've known people who did not like me who did not know me.
If you are well educated and long on common scientific facts a lot of people would not like you in a common discussion .
If you are uneducated most educated people would feel little in common with you in an discussion among educators.


Some people are popular because they come by it naturally. Some ar epopular because they are pleasing to look at and people wish to be around them.(usually women). Some people make you feel good about being with them even if it is for the first times and yuo can tell they are just a friendly type person. There are people who early in life decide they wish to be nice, liked, and happy and set about to reach that goal.
A happy person has a hyuge advantage over an unhappy one in making friends.

Answer 8

Actually...some people have their own chemistry..no wonder some people cant make friend and others are so popular..

Always keep in mind that the popular person is not always the best person.Sometimes they only have their popularity..But not knowledge..The people who can't make friends is better than them.

Just like me..I'm not popular among my friends..But I keep in my mind,that one day I'll get more friends...

Thanks for the question..

Hope my answer will satisfy you...

Adios....

Answer 9

It all has to do with your personality type. The most basic division of personalities, is the division between introverts and extroverts.

Introverts tend to be more shy while extroverts are outgoing.

Most "popular" people are extroverts.

Answer 10

You don't have to have lots of Friends to be popular.That is just ridiculous to say. Some people are just more picky when it comes to choosing friends which has nothing to do with their popularity. Some people may have standards and just won't allow any and everyone into their circle of friendship.