Why did I get so many mean responses with this Question?
Is it fair that my ex husband gets my daughters every summer all summer long???I can not understand why some of you talked so mean to me! He does get them every xmas break when they are out of school! Not to mention he chooses to live 1800 miles away from his kids. The only week we have to go on vacation is 3 weeks before they are suppose to come home, because we have a time share, and that is our week. Also, my daughters would really like to go with us.They are 6 and 8, old enough to speak their mind. I just cant believe how everybody automatically takes his side! Why????
2007-01-09 13:56:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
damn...this is like the second time you've asked this today
2007-01-09 14:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by michelle a 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i looked over you other questions just know to see what I was walking into. You have to remember one thing your asking for opinions here and sometimes your looking for someone to agree with you and if they don't you can really take it the wrong way. Look over the answers and then think about them and come up with your own conclusion.
Okay here is my advice: there really is not right or wrong here. If you have them all year long then yes it is fair that he gets them during the summer. How about a compromise. Is there any other time during the year that you can let him take the girls for a week or can you schedule your vacation the week after they get out of school or the week before they get back so they aren't missing the whole three weeks with their dad. See if you two can work out a compromise... Best of luck
2007-01-09 22:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you in the sense that it's not fair. You have the girls throughout the year, taking them to school, dealing with everything and so on.. he gets them for holidays. That means that he's "fun dad" who takes them to Disney Land whilst you might be "mean mum" who doesn't let them do what they want. That may not be the case but it tends to happen a lot more when they're older. I'm sorry, I don't really know what advice to give you other than to talk to him and tell him how you feel, but I hope you find some way of resolving this. Good luck.
2007-01-09 22:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by L ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all 6 and 8 yr olds are just that , Parents make the decisions.
Now I was in your situation many years ago.
My ex had them for the summer -- July and August.which gave me June. Plenty of time for vacations.
maybe you can change your time share or sell it.
Holidays were split.
If I had them for christmas one year , he had them for christmas the next. The other parent in turn celebrated "their" Christmas with the kids on New Years. My kids had the best of both worlds and loved it! They actually ended up with 4 xmases . 1 with me 1 with my parents , 1 with their dad , 1 with his folks.
Even though you are not together with your ex you are forever tied together through your children....... So both of you need to compromise . If you can't work it out then consult a lawyer.
2007-01-09 22:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand your anger and fustration! Maybe the solution is that you guys take turns. I know I personally would be upset if my ex had our kids for all the vacations regardless of where he lives. I would demand that we take turns. I get Easter break(4 weeks)..he gets summer...I get Christmas and then the following year it would be reversed. Only fair in my book. Best of luck to you!
As for why everyone got mad...I haven't read any of it but I can only guess its because so many fathers have been ripped off in their visitation rights. So ignore it all and find a ideal solution to your problem. Good luck to you!
2007-01-09 22:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off, i wasnt one of the other people who answered "last time?". Is he the one that moved the 1800 miles away? if so, he is the one that should be blamed for not being closer to be able to share your daughters lives together, even if divorced. I myself, believe your daughters SHOULD have a voice in the matter, however a judge might not view it in as such. Hope everything works out all right.
2007-01-09 22:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must understand people will say mean things when it is something that they really don't understand at all, I think the reason why people took it they way it did is because it sounds as if you are resentful of the fact that he has the most time and you don't...And most people including myself would like to see fathers take an active role in there childrens lives....Listen we live in a society that people will say some of the meanest things to people that they don't know and they think that it is okay to do when in actuality it is not..
I cannot make really any comment on you story because I don't know what the story really is but all I can say to you is that if you came at people like that with this question, well I am sorry dear then what did you really expect people to react like?
2007-01-09 22:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How about just changing your time share week? Or, better yet, inviting your ex to bring the girls for that time to spend time with all of you as a whole?
Don't be so defensive and bitchy with your wording. There are three sides to every story (yours, his and both) and you have to show all three if you want to get an informed answer.
2007-01-09 22:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by speranzacampbell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense - but 6 & 8 are not old enough to make their own decisions about visiting - they can tell him they would like to go - but it doesnt mean that he HAS to let them go.
Be thankful he actually wants to spend time with them - there are some children out there that do not hear from nor see their "bio" dads.
2007-01-09 23:45:02 · answer #9 · answered by jst_lv_me_alone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how much time u have with them or maybe it's how u r phrasing the question...cuz as i read this it does sound a little harsh...i interpret the question as the entire summer is too long for him to have the girls and that he should only get a few measly days...maybe i'm wrong but that's how i read it...but he is their father and he does have as much right as you to see the girls...maybe u should work out a better compromise for the girls' sake...believe me they r fully aware of everything...don't be naive in thinking that they r just kids...just be appreciative of the time that you do get to spend with them and maybe do something like "girl's time" where you do something different with them each time...that way they will have special memories of good times they spend with their mother...instead of growing up a little bitter cuz mom was worried about how much time they spent with dad...i hope i didn't come of harsh...that was not my intent...gud luck to u and your girls.
2007-01-09 22:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Retarded Genius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'VE ONLY BEEN DOING THIS SINCE 1/1/07 AND ONE THING I'VE NOTICED IS WHENEVER THERE IS AN ISSUE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN AND THE WOMAN IS THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTION ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS BUGGING HER-MOST OF THESE FOLKS THAT ANSWER EITHER AREN'T OLD ENUF TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT OR THEY ARE ALL MEN, CEPT ME--BESIDES, YA KNOW HOW THE OLD SAYING GOES "OPINIONS ARE LIKE BUTTHOLES, EVERY BODY HAS ONE--
2007-01-10 00:00:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋