River dry
Cloud in sky
By and by
You may fly
To the horizon
You have risen
And I sit driven
In my prison
River dry
My tears I cry
No longer dry
You will lie
My eyes won't let you die
2007-01-09 13:44:41 · 7 answers · asked by Peanut Butter 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Poems? like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder the same can be said about poetry. I can only say is that it is what you think and the message that you are attempting to convey is to your satisfaction.
2007-01-09 13:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by trendz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great Poem
2007-01-09 23:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your poem has a good....... feeling about it. its very nice and rythmatic but if i may i would suggest that you either make the lines a little longer or just combine some of the lines to make a shorter poem!
2007-01-09 22:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by crunkpunksista 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The short bouncy sentances don't fit well with the mood of the words, if you know what I mean. Good potential.
2007-01-09 22:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its very good but just a little bit tacky. you have to make it more interesting . not neceserially to make it all rhyme.
2007-01-09 21:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a little choppy but I like it, it's different
2007-01-09 22:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its good...i'm not sure i like the amount of rhyming
2007-01-09 22:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by bluecolouredflames 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋