what's wrong with my wife?

Question

im trying to make the best of a bad situation and i don't understand my wife sometimes. she says she is miserable with her life since we got married. All she does is ***** about the stuff i don't do for her and that i don't listen. i then do the stuff she asks me to do then its something else i do wrong after i helped her with what she bitched about. she says she is miserable and said she had a good life before me and i tell her then just go do what makes you happy even if it's leaving me but she never does anything to fix her unhappiness and just complains at me how i the problem. nothing i do is ever good enough. why doesn't she just leave me then? does she not love me or is she afraid im going to leave her so she keeps beating me down. i can't tell but im about to leave to spare her misery with me.i wonder if that's her intention or if she's just afraid.

Answer 1

I lived with a woman for 5 years, she was the same, blamed me for her unhappiness when in fact she wanted to play & not have any responsabilities.
10 days later she rang me asking me to come home as she was wrong, I did & it took less than two weeks for her to fall straight back into the selfish imature female again.
I left again & never went back even changed my address & cell number to stop her stalking.

Answer 2

If I were to venture a guess, she feels lonely, alone, and is miserable with herself. You may be there in body, but do you do the things to make her feel like she is the most important person in your life?
You may know you love her, but does SHE know? Do you do things without her ever having to ask? Have you taken her out spontaneously, bought her a special gift, or just taken her by the hand, led her to where you first met and told her how much your life means having her in it?
Women want men to "know" what they want, but you can't. Women want to feel like they are important and that they are loved. Leave her a little note somewhere when you go to work, call her a couple times each day while you are at work, and do the old fashioned thing- send her flowers.
Go to the place she works, get down on one knee in front of all her co-workers, and propose again.
This is a start. Don't give up on her. She may feel you already have and you sound like a guy who really is trying...... Good luck, Romeo!!!

Answer 3

First of all she had to have been this way before you got married, and THAT should have been a clue as to how the marriage would go. Secondly, she is looking to YOU to MAKE her happy but it doesn't work that way. You could do everything she ever watned, have all the money in the world and be on every "sexiest" "Handsomest" list in the world..but she would STILL not be happy. The problem lies within HER and I suggest you get her to seek medical attention because it sounds like she is suffering from depression. I doubt she wants to leave you, it's just that she isn't happy and she doesn't know why and she can't get happy...so she is looking to you to fix the problem within her and you can't. Again all you can do is suggest she talk with her doctor, or YOU call her doctor and explain what has been going on. It deffinately sounds like depression.

Answer 4

often people blame others when they are not happy. Ask her to write you a list of 10 things you can do to make her life happier. Tell you that you don't want complaints, just suggestions for what you can do.

then ignore her moods until she gives you the list. Hopefully, by writing the list, she will see that her life is not that bad. It should cause her to reflect on what would make her happy and to see that you are not the source of her unhappiness.

Answer 5

I would say she is miss dramam queen looking for some attention,and she also is an abusive person.Alot of people dont realize that a woman can be abbusive.I would send her packing and move on with your life.If doing what she wants doesnt make her happy nothing is going to.Hopefully ya'll dont have kids that she is teaching to act this way.

Answer 6

Needless to say there is something bothering her. If you were to ask yourself what do you think the underlying, hidden need so has that might be causing her feelings, what do you think it would be? If after all of your patience, understanding, help that you are trying to give her, it would seem that professional intervention with a marriage counseling may be required to help here.

Answer 7

I was in your same shoes but my wife left me to pursue a gothic life style. If you ask me women are drama and we have to learn to cope with it. If i were you I would leaver her and ask for a divorce and see if th efact that your serious will change her. If not then it really is time to divorce and find yourself someone wholoves you. As for me my wife loved me but was not happy with my life style she wanted to go gothic and what not. Sorry not for me so the thought of even having sex with her was repulsing and I think sh epicked up on it and left,. I still love her very much

Answer 8

Bren has a good point -- try counseling first. Maybe she's just one of those people who has to complain about everything? That's my mother-in-law exactly... *sigh*... at least we only see her once a year!

Answer 9

I don,t think I would want to stay with someone likre that.just pack some things and tell her your leaving and see what she says....I feel that way sometimes to because my husband don,t do anything butwatch tv,and he stays right up under me and gives me no space,bur i get up tight and go shopping ....

Answer 10

You both need to go to marriage counceling, because there are issues there that NEED to be resolved, and it sounds like she's just keeping tight lipped about them and those are just eating her up.