wasn't there for him.One minute he would tell me he want things to work but we need to take it slow. The next minute he want a divorce. To make a long story short I hadn't talk to my husband in 3 days and I saw him one day and he asked if he could take me out to dinner but we didn't talk about our marriage. The next day he came over and said he wanted to take me out to the movie this weekend. I was afraid to ask him why he was here what was going on because I didn't want him to get upset or think that I was trying to force him into anything. Anyway all day I had been wanting to know what was going on so I called him that night and asked him what was going on and he said "I just want us to be able to get alone. I just think we need to take it slow. So I asked him if he ever planned on coming back home and he said yes he just didn't want to rush into anything to fast and then I said in my heart I feel that you are not coming back. He got mad and said well I guess im not coming back.
2007-01-09 13:18:02 · 11 answers · asked by Keesha E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, let me tell you exactly what's going on here. He's having an affair, maybe more than one.
He wants to continue to have it and needs to be out of the house for his freedom but wants to keep you around in case he doesn't like the single life.
I promise he'll be back but it will still be on his terms, playing his little boy games.
What are you afraid of by confronting him? You have nothing to lose, he's not yours to begin with.
I don't mean to be harsh, I swear, dear, but you need the reality right now. The only 'space' he deserves is what's inside his suitcase.
2007-01-09 13:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to give advice from afar, but sounds like he wants an easy option. 15 years is a long time just to throw away in an instant. Takes years to build up trust but seconds to destroy it. IF you still Love him, will he agree to dump the other person permanently? After all, he has known that person for 3 years already. Do you think you could BOTH start your relationship afresh? Communicate with each other? share interests together and rekindle your initial flames? Or would you be prepared to share? YOU and HE are the only two people who can honestly answer your own situation and feelings for each other. Both take timeout, relax, be honest and find out exactly what you BOTH want at the end of the day. Hope you'll be happy in whatever decision or compromise you both come to. Life's too short to be bitter and twisted.
2016-05-23 01:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married for 10 years and now he wants to take it slow? He's either screwing around or he needs some therapy, or both. If you wanna call his bluff, give him the cold shoulder for a while and see how he reacts to you being the one who is aloof instead of the one doing the chasing. And, if he doesn't get his s*** together, get rid of him and find someone who'll treat you decently. He is definitely acting like a stupid school boy and you can certainly do better.
2007-01-09 13:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time. You guys were on the right track taking small steps Go with that. If you want him to come back, just be patient. He doesn't sound like he wants to throw your marriage away. He just wants to remember what it was like when you didn't fight - to remember why he fell in love with you. It's tough, but your marriage can survive this. I know from experience.
2007-01-09 13:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...this isn't really a question, but I'll give you a comment.
It sounds to me like he wanted to start over fresh, I mean, he was coming over to take you on dates. I say, give the guy some space, and stop trying to figure out what's going on until later.
2007-01-09 13:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he likes the feelings of courtship, and taking it fast makes him savor that feeling. Pushing him takes away the 'fantasy' and makes him mad. This isn't reality, nor will you be able to keep up the charade for long if he did come home...looks like you have to decide too...
2007-01-09 13:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by eleven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try finding out what's giving him the problem of not coming back? There must be a reason.
2007-01-09 13:27:33 · answer #7 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it that you want? If you want to play the dating game, then continue with his little game. He really have should have went about this a different way.
2007-01-09 13:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you were never close to begin with. I can't imagine not being able to ask my husband about our marriage....
2007-01-09 13:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't badger him with his coming home right now, wait it out, at least he is thinking about u taking u places, your too impatient, and need to just wait and just enjoy going out and being with him.
2007-01-09 13:27:09 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋