ok we have to do a paper on our dreams. please be honest and tell me what you think...
What is my purpose in life? There are millions of people who could step up over me and over power me. Some of those people are smarter, prettier, and have more self confidence than I do, but I pocess something that they do not.
Love for others is what drives me to pursue my dreams. You can be the smartest and richest person in the world but if you have nothing in your life worth living for, what is the point? My dream is not to become a multimillionaire in actual money, but a multimillionaire in the number of lives I touch.
its not finished yet.
2007-01-09 13:13:16 · 5 answers · asked by gratzie 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
no its for jr high.
2007-01-09 13:27:30 · update #1
OMG OMG OMG that is absolutley wonderful and I should know because when I was in school I won the young author award, always had the top writing grades in U.I.L and I recieved many other honors for writing and let me tell you that was GREAT you are going to get a wonderful grade and I can promise. This is for college right?
2007-01-09 13:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by kalikute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This paper seems pretty good so far. I'm a bit of an English buff, so I apologize if my critique sounds harsh, but there are a few things that I would change if I had to write this. First off, it's generally a bad idea to answer a question with a question. While some people really prefer this style of asking questions in their essays, I think that it makes you seem a bit unsure of yourself and what you're saying. Honestly, you can get rid of the sentence, "What is the purpose in life?" and replace it with an "attention getting step" which is a statement that makes the reader think, laugh, or feel some other strong emotion. Also, my English teacher always advised us to remove as many of the "be verbs" (is, are, am, were, was, be, been, being, become) as possible. Try to remember to use appositives (i.e.: The ice cream sundae, made of vanilla ice cream, started to melt in the sun.) Finally, remember to start some sentences with verbs, and the NTSSSWTSWT (no two sentences should start with the same word twice) rule. I hope this helped.
2007-01-09 13:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by lazerybyl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right , I hope it has just begun for you . You have a beautiful outlook, Good luck in this life. May you or someone you love have 3 true friends, no mater how much you give .
2007-01-09 13:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by michelle s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS A REALLLY GOOD PAPER I CANT EVEN WRITE LIKE THAT ! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK...;0
2007-01-09 13:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by REALity. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good start.
All the best~!
2007-01-09 13:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by kawaiisuzakuwarrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋