my wife says looking at porn on the internet is cheating.do you agree?

Answer 1

No. Sometimes we all just want to masturbate no matter how often you get it on with your spouse. Masturbation is healthy behaviour and I think required for a healthy sex life, so you can go with the 'well your not doing anything sexually with your wife' bit assuming that you are still sexually active with your wife and not just your hand. Porn is a lazy man's fantasy. I find it sort of silly and if it's degrading to anyone it's degrading to men just as much as women, but my lover enjoys it from time to time and it's not that serious of a matter in my mind. I don't care much. As for comparing myself to the women in porn, I just don't have those sorts of self esteem issues. You're wife is probably insecure for whatever reason or she's a crazed feminist who can't get her perspective on things (nothing wrong wiht feminists just the crazy anti-porn ones!). Try to reassure her that porn is just jack off material and means nothing more to you than that and that you love her. If she's a crazed feminist, then get her some sex positive books and show her the other side of things. I can't tell you how annoying it is to hear the porn is degrading to women argument coming out of someone who hasn't bothered to look at it any other way! Now, if she's already looked at the other things and is still crazed about being anti-porn well then, you're just going to have to deal without it or without her knowing, hehe.

Answer 2

Ok, my husband confessed to the same thing a while ago. I too was very upset. I think what bothered me and maybe what bothers her about it is that you and my husband were being secretive. Being dishonest is very hurtful and feels deceitful. I don't consider it cheating anymore mostly because my husband recently has done worse things other than porn (lapdances from strippers, which he knows was a mistake and doesn't plan to do it again). This is just a mind blower for her and it hurts that you kept this from her. It may not be cheating but you certainly felt it was wrong to do so otherwise you wouldn't have kept it from her. So to some degree you knew it was deceitful. Explain to her why you watch porn. My husband told me why he did it and it made me understand better. Now we watch it together. I am not guaranteeing that she will take it the same way I did but at least you can explain why you don't see it as cheating. Men are visual creatures. They like to watch sex and that's all they are seeing. It's not about the woman but about the act she is doing. Yes looking at a woman is sexy but you aren't thinking about having sex with her. She needs to know that this has nothing to do with her. Men would watch porn even if they were with Angelina Jolie. It's a fascination with sex and no matter what, you will still enjoy the view of sex. Let her ask questions without getting defensive. Let her understand the reasons behind it. Then maybe suggest making your own porn or asking her to watch it with you (once things cool down between you two) or suggest she watches it alone. She will see how much of a turn on it is. You need to be honest with her from now on. No more sneeking around and being dishonest with her. If she tells you she doesn't want you to watch it anymore, don't say you won't if you don't mean it. You've broken her trust and now you have to gain it back. Being honest with how you feel about porn will help her believe you. Don't tell her that you aren't interested anymore, it's a load of crap. Been there done that and he learned the hard way. Hope this helps. AND NO MORE LYING!

Answer 3

Yes and no. I say yes b/c when a man looks at porn yhey are drawn into the fantasy world which causes them to become addicted to it and causes problems in marriages. Husbands should be trying to make their wives feel like they are needed and wanted by their husbands and when there is to much porn looking and the wife knows she will become distant and in some instances may stray. And i say no b/c there is no touching just drooling and masterbating. If your are a having a problem w/ this you need to pay more attention to your wife before porn is the reason your marriage is over. Your not a bad guy for looking but if it bothers your wife then you should respect her enough to stop.

Answer 4

Not exactly .The real problem with porn is that it degrades women and creates unreasonable expectations regarding what acceptable sexual acts are within the context of committed couples.
Your wife is worried that you will want her to meet those expectations and she should be.
Contrary to what porn shows as normal , most women do not like anal sex, ridiculously large penis's or ejaculate on their faces.
If you read some of these questions on YA there are a lot of young men out there who get their sexual norms from porn and porn norms are not normal.
Many of the young men who visit these sites have obviously very limited actual sexual experience and cannot separate reality from fantasy. Scary
She's your wife and hopefully you love her . Respect her wishes and respect her body

Answer 5

No, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. Have her watch it with you, if it bothers her so much. She'll soon see that it's nothing to be concerned about. It's no different than watching a really hot sex scene on an r rated movie, you can just see everything under the sheets.

To answer these others that say that you are cheating on her mentally if not physically, I disagree. When my fiance watches porn, he isn't thinking about doing those things with that women, he's thinking about trying them out on me. It leads to a much more active, interesting sex life for us. I encourage him to watch porn, and have even bought it for him.

Answer 6

I would not consider it cheating. But I think there is a bigger issue here. If it is something that makes your wife uncomfortable and she has expressed that discomfort to you, your choice to continue to view it can be just as damaging to a relationship as traditional cheating would be. You need to show respect for her and her feelings. Disregarding them just because you do not agree with them tells her that her feelings do not matter to you. Never a good thing in a relationship.

I have told my boyfriend how unhappy I would be if I knew he was watching porn alone. Now he makes sure to share it with me ;)

Answer 7

No I don't think there is anything wrong with looking at porn as long as it isn't child porn then that would be sick and wrong! Looking at porn is a way to fantasize. You can't touch the person in the porn.

Answer 8

While I would not consider it cheating if my boyfriend looked at porn either on or off line, you really have to take your wife's feelings into account. She feels as if it is cheating and those feelings can build up to make your marriage a living hell. Maybe she would not feel as if it is cheating if you included her in on your endeavor. Ask her to join you while you look at it, it could cause a great sex experience. This way she does not have to feel as if you are "sneaking" around to look at other women.

Answer 9

It's not exactly cheating, but I understand your wife.
Your wife is the only one you should be looking at, you shouldn't be looking at porn. Plus, all those women are are a bunch of sluts and whores with tons of plastic sugery.
Try to stop your porn addiction..

,Phil

Answer 10

Yes. Simply because even though you are not doing anything with the chic physically, you are cheating on your wife because you are imagining of doing sexual things with this other person and you are allowing yourself to be turned on by someone other than your wife.
I personally think pornos are disgusting and degrading and feel that anyone who has to watch one in order to get turned on needs some serious help.