my bf of 4 yrs has many friends and treats everyone great even his exwife except me.1yrs ago tom asked me to pay off his debt(20k)from his last marrage and i said no.well he now throws it in my face. for example i wanted him to sit down with me to plan our wedding(been engaged for 2 yrs)and he said he has to pay off his debt 1st because no one else ever helps him(meaning me).but he just went out and spent $300 on a dirt bike.he also allows his exwife to treat me like crap and will not say anything to her.he allways says i asked for it or that shes right.he always makes me feel like i'm selfish and he has to take care of himself.I feel i do alot for him i watch his child(from his 1st marrage),do his laundry,clean,cook,run errands for him, ect.i will be the 1st person to say i'm not perfect but i don't think i deserve this from someone that is so nice to everyone else even people who treat him like crap like his exwife.am i over reacting?
2007-01-09 12:13:40 · 10 answers · asked by jakielucus0989 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is a "USER"! You need to drop this guy like a bad habit! Don't walk away from him....RUN! He is verbally abusing you, emotionally abusing you, and if you marry him, most likely will physically abuse you. He is a user, and a taker....a parasite, that feeds off others. Get out!!
2007-01-09 12:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is using u, why would u want to marry someone like this? and ruin your life. u are not responsible for his past bills, he won't even stick up for u to his ex wife. he also is very immature, to be buying dirt bikes instead of paying off his bills. as long as u are with this man u will have to take care of him and when he can't get what he wants off u, he will mistreat u, and treat u badly. no u don't deserve this, so maybe u should look long and hard before u marry a man like this, as when u marry him, u will be responsible for his bills, if u ever had a home a lien could be put on your house for bills he refuses to pay. he doesn't sound like he is marriage material. he just doesn't sound as if he can offer u much in life but misery, as he is immature and looks to others to take care of him and his needs.
2007-01-09 21:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not overreacting. You sound very young and this really doesn't sound like a very good marriage opportunity for you.
This guy is asking you to pay off $20K of his debt???
Leave now while you still can. What's in this for you? The more you give him, the more he'll want. And you already say he treats you like crap. What's in it for you?
Run -- not walk -- run away while you still can.
Get counseling -- figure out why you chose somebody like this. If you don't you'll just pick another one just like him.
Good luck.
2007-01-09 20:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello!! Are you reading what you 've written?!! And for your next relationship....Rule number one: Never Never mix your finances with you relationships. Check out if potential boyfriend can balance a check book before you go any further. The state of a persons finance often indicate the person's responsibility and reliability on other areas of the persons lives as well.
2007-01-09 20:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the one with the upper hand really you just have to CHOOSE to stand up for YOU. People ALL people treat you the way you let them. If you are not being respected by him or his ex STAND UP to them. Why are you letting him degrade you? why are you letting his ex get to you? He might show you more respect if you stopped being a door mat. If he still mis treats you it's time to get your boots on and start walking. by no means should you pay off his past debts
2007-01-09 20:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not, you are not overreacting, is this how you want to spend the rest of your life. Ultimately, the choice to be with him is yours and yours alone, however, just think about what you want. I mean really want. Of course you want him or you would not have devoted your life to him for so long. But a marriage is supposed to be a partnership not a dictatorship. He should be on your side not everyone elses and especially not his ex wifes.
2007-01-09 20:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by wyllow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you put up with this piece of work never mind want to marry into a relationship with so many issues.
Get out.
2007-01-09 20:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've got a spoiled brat on your hands. He's gunna kick and scream if he don't get his way and he only cares about himself. Move on.
2007-01-09 20:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're crazy for staying with him and wanting to marry him. Your reaction should be to dump him and fast.
2007-01-09 20:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you put of with this why? What some women won't do just to be married.
2007-01-09 20:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋