I was raised in a very strict Christian home, with a very secluded environment. My dad and mom did not want me to do anything but get married; my dad told me when I went to college that it was pointles: I was just going to end up as a gas station manager. I have made so many odd choices in my life, trying to find out what I want, that now, I feel I am stuck in a life that I was too ignorant to escape.
I am just now discovering all the world that I have missed: what do I do? I am plagued by self-hatred and regret like no one I've ever known. How do I let it go? SHOULD I let it go?
2007-01-09 11:57:11 · 30 answers · asked by mumzii 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have developed a conscience of how your family raised you. They probably were raised like that and is all they know, and honestly tried to do the best they could. I know cause I was raised in a family similar. Now that you are out in the real world you are figuring some things out. Don't be ashamed of yourself you sound as if you're making some pretty GOOD choices to me, I probably have children your age, I know from life experiences that I'd be proud of you. I used to regret or ponder if I made right choices, I finally figured out that you just have to make choices, right or wrong, but they are yours, so don't go back and say what if. Just try to learn from mistakes and remember that ALL of us are only human, forgive yourself and expect to make a mistake ever once in a while. Do the best you can in life and always be honest and decent. And remember your parents may have differing views, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are wrong! Good luck in life!
2007-01-09 12:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Went through a similar path; have a couple of suggestions:
1) Dont blame them - Yes, you were steered in a direction you do not agree with now, but more often than not, even if wrong, parents do what they think is best for you. Even if it is really off the mark....
2) Look at the positives in your life and the person that you are. - I stress "positives".
3) Dont second guess the past - You made the best decisions possible with the information you had. That is all you can ask of yourself.
4) Let go of hatred... Why? a simple reason, hatred cannot change or fix your past; all it can do is ruin your present.
There are two kinds of people in the world; those with a past and those with a future. I invite you to look forward and look at the wealth of experieces ahead of you. Rule your future.
2007-01-09 20:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by David R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say that everyone has pretty much made a poor choice at one point or another in their lives. I am far from the most successful guy in the world, I don't think that I am very intelligent, and I am not the best at offering advice, but I would say that sometimes a person just has to take things with a grain of salt. You just have to let things roll off your shoulders once in a while instead of putting such a heavy burden on yourself. I try to laugh in times of self doubt or when I feel like I am a failure. Self depreciating humor works. It really does. Also, sing whenever you get the chance. Think of your favorite song and sing as loud as you can. I also try to pray alot. As soon as one's spirit is raised, only then can one's life situation improve. Don't make any important decisions while you feel down in the dumps. Those are when I have made my worst, most regrettable decisions.
2007-01-09 20:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by cannonball 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wonder what you mean by odd? You are not stuck. There is always a way out if that is what you want. You are not ignorant, but deceived.
I am glad you are discovering things, and as soon as you get in touch with all of your talents and tastes, you will find what the Lord has planned for you. He made you special and for a purpose.
Let all the shame, regret and guilt go and live the life you were born to live!
2007-01-09 20:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by njspanteach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father's attitude towards you going to college is very archaic. It's always good to have higher education.
You may be stuck in a life that you think you can't escape, but you can escape. I believe you have very low self-esteem thanks partly at least to your father. Perhaps you're making odd choices to prove something to him.
If at all possible, go seek counseling. It will open your eyes to many things.
Since you went to college, you must have found something that interests you as a career. Research that field as much as you can to find out if you can make a career of your choice.
I've been out of the work force for quite some time, but perhaps there are counselors out there who can test you to see what field of work would be good for you.
You can get out of a stuck position. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
DO NOT HATE YOURSELF. DON'T REGRET WHAT IS PAST. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT. Those negative feelings are the devil's work to keep you down.
Since you were raised as a Christian, read the Bible, especially Psalm 91. It has helped me through days of doubt and confusion.
I hope I've been of some help. Just don't give up.
2007-01-09 20:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its wicked that you've been enlightened about the path that your life was taking, and that you've realised your choices to make that path were for the wrong reasons. Congratulate yourself!!! Use your memories to decide what can you differently next time. A time for reflection is a very important thing, just bear in mind that the here and now makes your future memories. The last thing you need is to feel as though this period of your life was a time of inner struggle. Your personal growth will start to flourish once you've put a funny / poisitve slant on your memories . THE REVOLUTION STARTS TODAY!! It starts every day!! Start a fresh, fun random chapter in your book of life right now. Be strong, have a giggle about your past, and look to a bright fluffy future :-)
2007-01-09 20:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by heshmaster_hookah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand what you mean....but youve gotta realize that you are not the only one in the world with the same exact feelings and dillemas.
the best thing would probably be to just accept the fact that so far your life hasnt been all that youd now hope it should have been. dwelling on the past, wondering what if, what you could have done, why you didnt do, why this, why that....it only wastes more of your precious time.....making you more incapable to move on by the day.
the best thing would jsut begin to immerse youself in the life youve missed out. try new things. go slow if you need to. if you can, go to college, move to a big city, find what is exciting and test it out for a while. see what the world can offer you.
bottomline: stop worrying about what youve missed out so far so that you dont miss out on anything more.
2007-01-09 20:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by katylady714 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you want to do. Quit making excuses as in mom and pop wanted you to do this and that. This is your life.Hope you arent married now as in all this would be fruitless. You arent stupild.. You havent missed a thing just go out there and find it. Find a job that you majored in in college. get your own life.. Find that job and move out on your own. YESSSSSSS you should let go. If you dont you will be doomed in un happiness for the rest of your life. YOu will blame everyone else for the way you are feeling now. Listen to yourself and ask why am i feeling this way and act on it. Be happy and enjoy your life. Good luck to you.
2007-01-09 20:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our life stories are pretty much the exact same thing, except my parents wanted me to go college and succeed and all that good stuff. They just sheltered me from the world. Now, that I am young adult and have lived on my own for five years, I too am just experiencing things I missed out on. I too am regretting a lot of things and I feel like it's haunting. I'm trying this though...kind of like in the Christianity way of confessing sins and owning up to them, I am doing that with myself. I am admitting to what I have done and I am trying to make myself bury those bad choices and decisions so I can move on. I wish you luck with your journey. I hope you can come to terms soon. Take care.
2007-01-09 20:04:50 · answer #9 · answered by PrettyThingCalledMe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your superego is very strong, and also very critical. You can never measure up to the ideal set forth by your punitive superego. Your rational realistic self needs to dispute the criticisms eg "I'm not perfect, but I'm doing the best I can do." Your life is not so different than the lives of others, in the sense that everyone is frustrated about something. What does your heart yearn for? Are you trapped in a life that does not fit?
2007-01-09 20:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by SIGGY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋