i am dating a woman that is getting a divorce, it was not a good marriage for her and was basically over four years ago, she gets worried that she is dating to quick, i always tell her that there is no set time limit for how long you should wait, or if you should even wait until the papers are signed it is what makes you happy that matters, should a person wait if they find someone that makes them happy would be interested in knowing what other people think
2007-01-09 11:42:33 · 23 answers · asked by warren_h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I don't think there is a time limit.
2007-01-09 11:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by guardianangel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you that what "makes you happy...matters" but have you gotten anywhere close to why she's reluctant? It could be a message for you. If I were you, I'd do a little exploring in her reasoning before getting involved. It "may" have nothing to do with "dating too quick"...have you considered that? She's either ready, or she's not. Unless I got an acceptable explanation, I'd cool it. Not the "best" thing to start out with this difference in "opinion." Think about it.
Edit: You said it was basically over four years ago. What does that say to you? I do NOT agree that most psychologists or therapists would suggest waiting a year or whatever. That is far too absolute to allow for the individuals situation, feelings. Also, dating is not a "commitment" if that at all enters the picture. It's quite a healthy thing to do!
2007-01-09 11:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there is a thing called "a little to soon" she should wait until she is ready to date. I didn't date for a very long time after my divorce I always felt as though I was cheating on him even though I am the one that filed for the divorce. If she dates to soon she may still harbor way to much resentment from her marriage or it could end up with the guy being used just as a rebound. No matter how long or short a marriage lasts there is healing that needs to be done.
2007-01-09 11:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter how long you wait to date after a divorce. Some people start dating before the divorce is filed. It's whatever makes the person happy. I already had a boyfriend before my divorce was even filed and then I got divorced and we were able to see each other.
2007-01-09 11:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a year into my separation and I only date occasionally. Time is important for healing and I have been to therapy. I wont be dating much for a while, but each person is different. I would say if she is worried then she might want to talk with someone that can reassure her. Sounds like she has been through a rough time,if she is really ready then nothing wrong with it. Good luck to both of you.
2007-01-09 12:25:29 · answer #5 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most counselors or therapists will advise a recently divorced person to wait a year before dating. A person can "think" they are over it, but take it from someone who knows, it takes a very long time for those wounds to heal. If she rushes into something to soon it will not end well. Especially if she is mixing sex into the picture. That just causes more problems.
2007-01-09 11:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
seeing as how alot of people are dating before the papers are signed which in most cases is the reason for the divorce in the first place I don't believe there is a time frame but if it were me I'd wait 1-2 months to date seriously but random dates one timers maybe a week
2007-01-09 11:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by topgunpilot22 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a very iffy situation, especially since you left out important details which could help us give you a more concrete answer. Is she still living with her husband while she's telling you all of this? Or has she already moved out? If she's still living with her husband, I'd say that "you" shouldn't be dating her. However, If she's living on her own and has filed papers, I dont see anything wrong with her dating right now. But why is she feeling guilty about dating if she's living on her own? Does she still have feelings for her husband? Like I said, it depends on where she's living right now, and where her heart is.
2007-01-09 11:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by Sam Darren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For as much as I hated this answer after my divorce...
at least one year. When we were young, we called it rebound.
A person needs to know what they want and who they want with a clear mind. Back off, give her space. I think you have a better chance down the road if you let her go now. However, I have seen this work in some relationships. Go with your gutt, just have both eyes wide open.
2007-01-09 11:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it all depends on how she feels. If she feels she is ready to date then why not. Most times divorce cost a fortune and unless you have the money it can take quite a while. Best of luck to you both
2007-01-09 13:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give her a little time. You dont want to be looked back upon as a reason for the divorce. Maybe talk to her but keep it platonic until the divorce is over. Good luck!
2007-01-09 12:13:32 · answer #11 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋