What would you rate this essay? Written By 17yr Old Girl.?

Question

Topic: Why I Would Visit South Africa (pah, I'm a south african myself, so this topic was pretty confusing for me) Anyways:

M y research indicates that the rugged and beautiful land of South Africa welcomes visitors with warmth and sincere hospitality. In fact, the 2006 Reader's Travel Awards scored South Africa's scenery at 97.8%, the highest in the world and their hospitality is second to none! Where else do you get wild animals, a stunning coastline, mountains and incredible diversity (4 ethnic groups, 12 culture groups). South Africa also has more mammals than North and South America combined. Table Mountain alone has more plant species than UK..! Talk about diversity! Wow.

South Africans are a unique breed. You won’t find anyone quite like them. They’re cheerful, generous & spontaneous; they laugh at themselves (and everyone else), are world champions at smiling - because they’re not afraid to practise in public. Overseas, you won’t find people smiling quite as (continued)..

often as the South Africans. They daren’t, if you’re caught smiling elsewhere in the world, they think you’re brain-damaged or haven’t realised the seriousness of the situation. Apart from the South African’s remarkable hospitality, they are also incredibly hard-working, creative, imaginative... and they know how to make decisions without waiting for a committee meeting.
The climate in South Africa is unbeatable! In the northern hemisphere, the winters are so long & gloomy that the suicide rate soars. Whereas, winter in South Africa, the rate at which we buy moisturising cream & packet soups goes up a bit.
The service is great! Seriously! Try getting 24-hour dry-cleaner in Germany when you spill gravy on your outfit. They’re so over-organised, over-specked & over-efficient they need three or four days to sort anything out! South Africa’s self-reliance is unique. Overseas, if something goes wrong, they call a specialist. It might only be a loose screw, but they remove (continud

the entire unit and; send it off for a complete replacement! In South Africa, they would somma fix it or somebody’s got a china who’s got an ou maat who sorts it our now-now!
In another country, when you feel like a quick graze you just can’t get decent biltong or pap or boerewors. Then, lo & behold, you spot some litchis, but you have to take out a mortgage to pay for them!
South Africa’s diversity is remarkable. In London they organise a multicultural experience once a year which brings together some Asians, West Indians, Africans and a few Pale faces from the native English. It’s good, undeniably. But throw a small office party for 30 staff in South Africa and you’d see double the diversity & probably have twice the fun!

And although the crime rate is somewhat high, South Africa is relatively safe for tourists. After a century of conflict, it is reinventing itself. The culture is so magnetic and vibrant. The cities are alive with passion. It's hard (continued below)

It's hard NOT to want to be a part of it.
The pride and energy of its people, bound together by a fierce love of the land makes South Africa one of the most interesting countries in the world and worth visiting!
And perhaps, because it is my land, I write about South Africa with so much gusto!

Answer 1

hmmm

oh my
iv seen essays but not this good
all the adjectives placed and everything makin me want to go the south africa now. im serious and if i could and i would want to give u an A++++...
u would totally deserver it for your hard effort and the work u out into it

i think u did a terrific job

Answer 2

Nope,
I don't know the real you.
You are giving me words.
I don't like words.
I can get that from the internet

I want to meet the real you, without you telling me that you are from South Africa until the last sentence.

I want to hear about what you know. This sounds like you copied it from the internet.

Where is your heart? Where is your passion? Where is the YOU attitude in what you write. Can I see a village, a town, people, nope, nop and nope.

Sorry, but I'd giver you a d+.

So please write it from your heart. You did make a concerted effort to give me paragraphs, but I want you in the paragraph. What was your world like growing up there? Did you think about American people? Did you think that you had freedom? Did you visit all of Africa? Why not? Can I actually see your home, your town, your pets, your family, what you wore for clothing, what the temperature was like - and again about YOU, YOU, and YOUR town?
Did you think that you would be educated all your life there, and stay there forever? Passion - where is it.

GOD bless us one and all, always.
MBA-Boston Univ

Answer 3

B+

Answer 4

god... it reads like a travel brochure, and not an essay.

I think it was plagiarized.