When me and my husband first got together I had made some terrible mistakes. We made a conscious effort to make it work, however, even though I stopped doing drugs, I make sure that my world now revolves around him and making sure that I do everything the right way he is still waiting for me to do something to make it up to him. I have no idea what I could possibly do to make it up to him. Personally, if someone cheated on me there would be no way to make that up to me, but if I had decided to make it work despite what had happened then I would know that i would have to let it go completely and move on. First give me your opinion on the situation and second if there is a way to make it up to him, please let me know, I am open to suggestions.
2007-01-09 10:54:20 · 17 answers · asked by wyllow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like to me you have doing all you can so all i can say is keep up the good work and stay clean
2007-01-09 11:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sherman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he want you to make it up to him? Can any one really ever make it up? I'm not clear on what it is you did, but the bottom line is- he was hurt! If he is having a hard time forgiving you or trusting you,This is now his problem. If you are doing everything you can, and he still needs more, then you may never be able to fix it. There is no relationship that will work- without trust. You need to talk to him and be straight about what it is you are feeling and thinking. Then leave the ball in his court. I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-01-09 11:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by dreamteam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try councelling and find out what's really bothering him. And your world revolves around him? Um, it should be you two against the world. Since when did he become the king? You don't have to walk on eggshells or give him whatever he wants because you made a mistake. I applaud you for being in recovery, it takes alot of strength to do that. Keep it up and good luck.
2007-01-09 11:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no making up for the problems that you had caused in your marriage , such as cheating. The drugs an all that can be forgiven but it will be very hard to make that mistake right with him. only time an lots of love will ever heal that wound. find some way to start all over with him and give him promises ....faithful promises that nothing like that will ever happen again.
2007-01-09 11:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all give yourself a pat on the back you have overcome doing harm to you and your husband, by stoping the drugs.This is something he will need to accept in time. The best way to deal with him is always be open and honest. It's not always easy,and sometimes the truth hurts,but in the long run you two will grow closer together.I hope he can truely see the positive changes you have made,and just love you for who you are,not expecting you to give him something in return.You already have givin him something ,your life,your love for him.Good Luck ;)
2007-01-09 11:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's your problem you put your whole world around him. Trying to make it up to him. You make a conscious decision to put YOUR whole life into him. STOP. Do you trust your self now? You can't make a person change or like you or trust you. You can't do that. They have to do it for them self's. If you no your not going to do it, then don't worry about him worry. The only way you can make it up to this man is to be yourself. As long as you know your not going to do it no more. Like I said don't worry.
Both of you need to start reading self help books like ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger it's easy reading and it will help.
2007-01-09 11:09:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals, there is no easy way to make it up to him or in fact any quick fix, the only thing you can do is to show him what you are now, and make him feel loved and secure with you and prove him wrong, eventually time will take over and he will see that you have changed. but nothing quick will make it right for him, just give him time and try to be as understanding as you can.
2007-01-09 11:01:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe persons can suppose unfastened to have the opinion that they desire. They must be ready to specific there opinion, and people who concentrate (which must be plenty of persons) must have an open brain, and probably difference there opinion. Some evaluations would possibly not transform something, nevertheless it doesnt imply there nugatory. Even if no one treasures your opinion, you must. Its what makes you who you're.
2016-09-03 19:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right forgive and forget.He knew what you did and he made the decision to stay with you.If it was to much for him to handle then he should have ended it at the time instead of making you live your life in debt to him.Stop trying to make it up to him.If he forgives you then he needs to let it go if not then let him go.
2007-01-09 11:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that we all make mistakes........
And since we can't change the past there is no way to make something up to another person, they have to forgive us.... then we are willing to become better people because of their gratefulness
2007-01-09 11:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love is forgiveness!
You shouldn't & don't owe him anything, in my opinion. & The fact that you are there with him everyday, should be all he needs. He sounds like a taker, not a giver!
You may never be able to make him happy, especially if he is not happy with himself. Good Luck
2007-01-09 11:00:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋