I have been friends with her for 15 years. we hooked up when we were 16. 1 year later she moved away. We kept in touch. i then moved to the same place at 18 yrs old. she than went away to college. we still stayed close. when she came back from college we both dated other people and stayed best friends. Ive always had strong feeling for her over the years but never new how to tell her. heres the kikker, 2 years ago her boyfriend was killed in a car crash. she was devistated. i was by her side through it all. then 1 year ago she started going out with someone. now shes engaged. I know this isnt the best time, but i feel i need to tell her NOW. do i do it or not. if yes, then how?
2007-01-09 10:17:23 · 34 answers · asked by mpon12345 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
the other day she was telling me that they dont have sex anymore. is this a sign that maybe shes unhappy? is this my chance?
2007-01-09 10:33:43 · update #1
Yes, tell her now because once she's married it is really too late. She is confiding problems to you and is seeking something from you even if its only friendly support. Tell her!!!....or FOREVER hold your peace.
2007-01-16 10:56:17 · answer #1 · answered by Valrosa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No doubt about it -- you're in a bind. If you don't tell her, you lose any possibility of you 2 being together. If you do tell her, and she doesn't feel the same, you risk losing the friendship (or making things very awkward at best.)
So here's a suggestion: tell her you have a "friend" who has a rough decision to make, and has asked you for advice, but you don't know what to tell him. The friend is in love with someone who is involved with someone else, and the friend is trying to decide if he should tell the girl or not. What does SHE think the "friend" should do?
If she says he should "keep it to himself," you have your answer. If she says "he should tell her," you have an opening (if you still want it) to say, "the 'friend' is actually me..." (which she probably will have guessed by then anyway.)
This gives you a graceful way to put it out there with minimal risk, and for both of you to "save face" if she doesn't share your feelings.
All the best to you -- I'll be thinking good thoughts!
2007-01-17 01:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by SeeJoy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many chances do you think you're gonna get? Seriously. If you're in love and you think there might be a chance, just take her hand and tell her. It doesn't have to be a big production. If she feels the same way, great! If not, that'll suck a little bit, but at least you will have put it out there and you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering.
You may be the man she's been waiting to be with for years. No guts no glory, man. Go get her. :) Good luck!
2007-01-15 11:46:30 · answer #3 · answered by Vix 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, the two of you have shared everything for fifteen years. She is now telling you something very private and personal. I believe you should get her alone and explain to her that you were happy for her but this latest information could become a serious problem. Tell her you have fallen in love with her and would never treat her badly and give her the opportunity to respond. Could be painful...could be bliss. Good Luck!
2007-01-17 04:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by Rocko Barbella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should gently let your friend know that you have feelings for her. Tell her that you love her from the philos perspective and from the agape perspective of love and that you have realized that Eros is there for her as well. Tell her how long you have felt this way. Tell her that you just want to make her aware of your feelings and to determine if there is a future in feeling that way about her. Reassure her that you will remain friends no matter what her reaction is to your revelation. Don't be disturbed if she does feel erotic love for you, find a way to continue to celebrate the other types of love that she feels for you. You will never know how she feels if you don't ask; maybe she does feel that way too and doesn't know how to tell you!!
Good Luck........
2007-01-17 08:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by Rosebudd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay i think you should tell her how you feel i mean what have you got to lose. An idea of how to go about doing this you should ask her to meet you somewhere maybe a coffee shop or somewhere to eat. what you do is you pay for everything the point is to be alone with her. bring up the past relationship ya'll had and go from there..........i really hope the best for ya.....
2007-01-16 21:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by kika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's engaged then I think you are best to say nothing. You've had 15 years of opportunities. At the same time, she's had 15 years of opportunities to tell you the same thing. If she really is your friend first and foremost, I think you should just remain her friend. Now if at some point in the future she is available again then you would be free to tell her your feelings then.
2007-01-09 10:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by Justin H 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i admire the 1st option better, yet I`ll upload a sprint twist to it. supply the female time and dont come off as prepared to her. seek advice from her extra on MSN, and that i think of even throughout summer if there is an possibility bypass draw close out along with her to make issues extra straightforward perhaps bypass out for dinner with mutual pals or something of the type. And in a while interior the college 365 days you may permit her understand your emotions for her, take her to a school dance and it may b relatively romantic to try this after that dance is over and this is in simple terms you and her. properly stable success to ya mate. this is gonna artwork out im specific.
2016-10-30 11:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let's review.
She is engaged to be married. We'll presume she loves the guy with all her heart, since she has agreed to marry him.
You are her best friend.
If you do this, you're going to put her in a rough position.
Does she stick with her fiance and reject you?
Does she dump her fiance and return your feelings?
Either way, the friendship would have a serious strain and is more than likely toast.
Is a long shot "I have feelings for you" declaration worth losing your best friend?
If it's all about you, tell her.
If it's all about her, "forever hold your peace."
Decide, Best Friend.
2007-01-09 10:24:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a million ways to tell her. One , by sms(text message), by phone call, via a gift card, via email, via chatrooms. All these methods are for those who cant stand up, and tell the lady on her face, his feelings for her.
Those who are brave enough do say the world on a one-to-one conversation. Stand up, tall, and exuding confidence and say to her face, I LOVE U.
Tell her all the tales you have told us. Tell her you have been afraid to tell her all these nice words. You have nothing to loose. You have everything to gain is she says YES. First you will gain the best friend, secondly you would get a wife, third you would get a helper, fourth you would get a companion.
2007-01-17 02:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by oluocheli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋