I carnt leave my house by myself, because i get so scared. I have only been out alone twice in nearly 3 years.

Question

My partner is sympathetic and has never forced me to go out alone, but its so frustrating, i carnt even take my 2year old to the park. I can go out, but i HAVE to have someone with me. Even if im in a shop and lose sight of who im with i panic. I feel scared and vunrable on the few occasions i have been out, and end up basically running home. I hate being a prisoner in my own home. but i just carnt physicaly make myself go out. What should i do?

Answer 1

Hi, I have a 2 year old and an 11 month old. I have had agoraphobia and panic attacks for 4 years. The thing is, you need to take the panic away, then you'll be able to slowly take little steps knowing no journey will lead to panic. I am on medication which takes this problem away. I have also found it useful when I get stressed to focus on my 2 year old as distraction is a great remedy. Everytime you feel the panic start focus on them, talk to them engage with them, get them out of the buggy. I would also remind myself that I didn't want my little one to see that I was scared as he would think there was a problem too.
This is a nasty thing, but you have to do it. You are afraid of going out and having a panic attack. You are afraid you'll be trapped too far away from home and not be able to get back. But you are already trapped in your own home. To be honest, you must get medication, therapy can help some, it didn't help me as it made me focus on my problems which meant that then I was thinking too much about it and working myself up. Once the medication is in your system (3 months) you'll know cuz you'll feel less stressed, do something really small with your little one, even if its just to play in the front garden. You will not have a panic attack you have your little one to distract you, and your medication to control the fear. But you will feel anxious, because you have learnt that you feel ill when you are nervous, but trust me it will not go any further. You must slowly push yourself, for you, dont waste 4 years like me, I became so ill I couldn't be alone any where even in my own home. You do have the power to set yourself free, it will take time to get out of this ( it took time to get this bad!) and dont rush it. If you want to chat personally you can contact me on [e-mail].
I totally understand. Physically right now you cant get out because the physical sensations of the fear have took over which is why you need medication. Get your medication and make a plan or a goal. i.e by this time next year I want to be pushing my little one on the swings. Then wait the three months before trying anything, when you feel a little bit stronger and you'll know when that is, start making the small steps in the direction of the park, on foot. Even if thats only 5 yards a day you'll make it, and remeber to distract yourself when you feel edgy. It will work. Good luck, dont worry. But never push yourself too far too fast or you'll end up going backwards.
Oh and if you didn't know that fear of going out is agoraphobia dont read up on it, as when you start reading what professionals believe its enough to stress you out more. There are no rules, we are all unique. Believe in your self. I do.

Answer 2

You would seem to be suffering with agoraphobia, which means you are afraid to leave the safety of your home or familiar surroundings. There is help available, but you do have to confront your fears,it is best to do this gradually over a period of time. Go to see your GP first and he should refer you to a specialist. You will get better but it will take time. I have suffered with this for over fifty years so I know quite a lot about it. You can overcome this condition, but you need the help and support of your partner and the medical profession. Good luck and don't give up however hard it seems.Take small steps at a time and don't be discouraged if you fail, just get up and try again.Eventually you will be amazed at what you will achieve.

Answer 3

Sweetheart I feel for you, I have been like that for years now but I am just learning to do it on my own. Have you explained to your gp ? Ask him or her for venlafaxine 140 mg a day, it wont mix your head up and it will help you cope with the stress of going out. I first started by going out with one of the kids coz I felt safer, then adults, and now I do most of it on my own, I still get nervous and sweat sometimes but I just take it and wait until it goes away. I am not cured by all means but I getting there. I need to had something to this in lite of reading the other answers. You dont have agrophobia like everyone is saying, if you were in an enclosed space with people you knew say a shop or supermarket you would be ok wouldnt you ? In my opinion what you have is homophobia wich is a fear of people not open spaces, Ever want to chat I'm here babe, good luck.

Answer 4

its a form of agrophobia that you have. Seek counselling as it probably stems from an incident years ago. Gentle forms and methods will be taught and practised with u to encourage the fears to go away and over time you will regain confidence in being out alone. Im sorry i cant suggest where to go as i dont know what country your in. But any counsellor should be able to talk to you. Its quite common infact but can prevent you from leading a normal life that you deserve. Its good that you can go out at all as some people are house bound by similar phobias and fears. Go talk to someone and start thinking positively.

Answer 5

Hi, how I can empathise with you, yes you are suffering from this dibilitating illness of agraphobia whereby you feel you cannot go outside for all sorts of reasons. Counselling of course is going to help you, if thats what your ready for,as its you thats has to want to change and not be that prisoner in your own home. You say you cannot physically make yourself go out, and thats going to be the hardest of all. Some counsellors do go into clients home to help, unfortunatley though eventually you will have to with his/her help go over the threshold, but thats along way down the road yet. When you have found yourself a counsellor and one that you trust you will be suprised at what you will wish to accomplish. Look in your local yellow pages or yell.com for counsellors, some organisations offer free counselling, GP`s can be helpful and often have a selection of Counsellors they can recommend or one`s that work out of their surgery. I wish you well given time, and a good listening ear, you will overcome. Best wishes.

Answer 6

Make sure your next venture out is to see a therapist. Make an appointment and bring a friend there with you. Your friend can wait in the waiting room while you go in with the therapist. Then your friend can go home with you. There is actually a physical condition that causes this, I think its called something like white wolf or parkison wolf syndrome- something like that. This is also a common side effect from some one who has been sexually attacked. In either case, therapy really does help. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 7

May I ask how long have you been like this?

Is this a result or an attack of some sort?

And I really feel sorry for you. I hope you can get some help on this condition. Good luck, and so long as someone is there for you and understands what you are going you should be okay. But you should seek counseling. :)

Answer 8

That sounds like a pretty severe phobia to me. You should definitely see a therapist, who will help you figure out if there's some underlying cause (psychological or chemical or ??) and help you. It might be helped with something as simple as an anti-anxiety medication, or it could take lots of therapy, but you NEED to see a professional.

Answer 9

you need to see doctor for agrophobia (fear of outside). U need medication to help u get confidence and u need the help of a psychologist and u need it quick b4 it takes over your life. taht means u prob dont have a normal life and u want taht back right? so pls pls pls seek help coz its available and ring and talk to a doc over phone and see if he will come home. there was a programme on during xmas on this phobia and they were cured by facing their fears. I knw its hard and scary but u will get there. Just need help. pls dont get urself into more difficulties as it could be something to do with post natal depression or something taht triggered it off? how long has it been going on for? i bet after giving birth. hormones can go haywire after giving birth anhd needs to be sorted straight after b4 it gets worse coz then it WILL talke over your life and u dont want that. It can get bad so pls do a favour and go to docs. i wish i could help u but see a doc or get ur husband to see him for u so he can come home and talk to u and help u get your life back. Sure hope u do it and let me knw. its a journey that u wont regret no matter how hard u gotta try. be faithful and be positive in ur thinking. say I CAN not i can't. its hard but u need help so what u waiting for eh?
oh yeah, u can have a panic button for you to feel safe out if u get scared. That might make u feel comfortable. they are given out free i think in police roadshows etc.

Answer 10

It sounds like you have sever panic attakes.You should seek the help of a doctor.They makes meds. that make it easyer for people who have panic attakes lead very normal lifes and to be able to go out. What your feeling is real and if i were you i would ask my Doctor about panic attakes and how you should deal with them and what meds. would be good for you to lead a full life.