Is it fair that my ex husband gets my daughters every summer all summer long???I can not understand why some of you talked so mean to me! He does get them every xmas break when they are out of school! Not to mention he chooses to live 1800 miles away from his kids. The only week we have to go on vacation is 3 weeks before they are suppose to come home, because we have a time share, and that is our week. I just cant believe how everybody automatically takes his side! Why????
2007-01-09 09:56:21 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you taking this site so seriously! Let it go sweetie! You don't know the people here and they don't know you - what did you expect???
2007-01-09 10:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by Turtleshell 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I wont be mean because I am a little bit in the same situation. My ex doesn't live that far away, but it seems that he ends up with them on any holiday break. He had asked to take them for the summer but this has never happened. I feel that this is not fair to you. There are a lot of activities in the summer that you and your daughters can do more than any other time of the year. I think you need to have this discussion with your ex, and figure a way to make it 1/2 & 1/2. If you cant come up with a solution between the 2 of you, ask your daughters what they'd like to do. If he complains of not seeing them as often or much like he would (reasoning for the whole summer) then tell his dumb *** to move closer so this can be more of an even exchange. Hope this helps you out.
2007-01-09 10:04:23 · answer #2 · answered by msmae357 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
The reason your children's father gets to see them when he does is likely according to your state's custody/visitation laws. I assume you have a Court Order. What the court is concerned with is the "best interest of the child," not what is necessarily convenient for you or your ex husband. The best interest of your children is served by them having a relationship with BOTH parents. Since you have physical custody most of the year, summer is the best time for their father to see them. Don't worry, they still love you, and they shouldn't have to choose between you and their dad. Hey, I was a single mother of two sons and I would have been thrilled if I could have gotten my summers "off" with no child care to worry about. You should count your blessings, and be glad that your ex husband still wants to be involved in your daughters' lives. This can only help them grow into well-adjusted adults. That is what you want, isn't it?
2007-01-09 10:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should care what people have to say to you. You can either take their opinion or just ignore them.
You and your ex should try to work things out for the sake of the children. Tell him that you would like to take your kids out on vacation next year. Give him a notice and just take them. If you're worried about legal rights ,then consult with a lawyer or get a court order permission.
I truely feel sorry for you and your kids. Adults are selfish sometimes and forget that their actions will always affect their kids one way or another.
2007-01-09 11:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have no idea hun i never actually seen teh first question.....Life isnt fair never is my parents divorced when i was 14 and i chose to live with my mom which my dad lived only 25 minutes away and i stayed with him every other weekend and when i chose not to stay my mom would make me and then she stopped making me i loved my dad and still do but when it was time for me to stay with him he would leave me and go clubbing so i never wanted to go there...I think mabey if you could alternate like say u get them one christmas and then he gets them the next and say mabey they go to school there for a yr then with him well that might not work be to hard on the kids but mabey you could talk to him and work it to where u take turns for christmas and say summer you get them for 2 wks and he gets them the rest of the time its only fair to him as he only sees them those 2 times a year but its not up to me to judge or to tell either what to do Mabey he will just be understanding and caring enough to work with you.......Best of luck
2007-01-09 10:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by ~*~*~JeSs~*~*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy who lives 4000 miles from his kids (her choice not mine) I can tell you that:
!. Some women will try anything to keep children away from the father and the kids get used as a barganing chip (so to speak). This would be why the males are upset!
2. A lot of men don't want to be bothered with their children so when you find a man who actually wants to be a part of the children's lives they don't feel anything should be in the way of that.
This would be why the women are upset!
2007-01-09 10:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you were treated so mean. You probally got alot of men responses and in general we are the ones who usually get the crappy end of the stick. I am in the opposite situation as you and I can see how they might take their frustrations out on you. But its not your fault and I understand your situation...You do need some summer time with your daughter too. have you talked to him about maybe giving you a few weeks of the summer in exchange for maybe a spring break or something. Communication is the key in your situation and hopefully he will be reasonable.
2007-01-09 10:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Because the man doesn't live with his children. And any time he can get for an extended period with his children he should have. Also regardless if you think he is being all he can be as a dad with his time. The only opinion that matters is that the children still want to spend time. If they are willing to except it you should too. As children get older they see situations for what they are. Just relax some of us want to help and others judge to quickly.
2007-01-09 10:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by GoldenGirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie. Maybe the problem was in the way you presented your question. REMEMBER: "It is not what you say, but how you say it."
However, I believe you asked a fair question. I think they should be with you at least one month during the summer. For whatever reasons, he chose to live far away, but he still has rights. And the court considered those reasons as valid.
2007-01-09 10:07:11 · answer #9 · answered by David G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why? Because you sound like someone who wants to cut out your children's father out of your life completely. You should be grateful that they have a father who is interested enough in them to take them for extended periods of time. If he lived closer and had them every other weekend, like so many do, it would be just as disruptive to your plans.
My daughter's father never paid one cent of child support, has not so much as laid eyes on her since she was 6 months old. She is now 45, and she and her father wouldn't recognize each other if they were trapped in an elevator together. There are plenty of mothers in the same position, and we find it difficult to feel sorry for someone in your place, who can actually afford to take any kind of vacation.
Count your blessings.
2007-01-09 10:11:16 · answer #10 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe the oportunities he has to make a decent living are 1800 miles away from his kids and its not a conscious choice for him to move so far away, and for summer break, its 2 months and you get the rest of the year, sounds like you are just selfish and fail to understand the situation properly
2007-01-09 10:46:56 · answer #11 · answered by zether 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋