I was brought up with 3 sisters and 1 brother. We were brought up to not really love one another. We were never really friends, and we were always looking for a way to humilate each other or get each other in trouble with our mother.
We grew up and when we reached age of being teenagers, our mother died all of a sudden. My two older sisters ran off and got married. My older brother took care of my younger sister and informed me that I had to leave home and take care of myself. I ended up on the street of this city at 16 years of age.
I never really gave my family a 2nd thought. Out of sight out of mind. Now its been 27 years later and one of my sisters tracked me down and decided she wants to be a family. She says things like "I love you" and "You are my brother." My other family also are in this state of mind. I have learned to not need anyone over time and I really don't care nor love the family, so I told them I didnt love them and to leave me alone.
What do u think?
2007-01-09 09:42:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My sister who looked me up is being very annoying. She keeps going on and on about how family needs each other. I pointed out to her that we were brought up in an enviroment deviod of love. I have never loved and am not really interested. I informed her and the other family members that I certain that they are all decent people. I'm just not interested in them nor do I love them. I don't even know them and am not interested in trying.
BTW. All 3 of my sisters had 5 children each who are all adults now. I have never met them and we live in the same city. I don't hate them I just don't want to know them.
I told my sister that I think that it's within their best interest just to forget that I even exist. I'm a complete loser and they should count themselves as lucky that they don't know me.
I hope I'm doing the right thing here. Either way I will never meet any of them ever. This is for their own good as well as mine.
2007-01-09 09:47:38 · update #1
Your so wrong about all of this.My wife is Native American and has 3 bro. and 3 sis. they were all raised in foster homes and orphanages.Because of their race at that time they went through the fire to make this story short.After growing up they had to look one another up because they to had been separated.Some of them turned out good and some are even losers.But one thing I have witnessed for certain , they all love and need one another.I think their probably one of the nicest families I have ever seen.The good and the bad.Get down off of your high horse, and with your family.There is only one reason they would look you up,and that's because they love you and are your flesh and blood.Your not doing any different than your brother did you.Isn't it about time things changed in your family for the better.
Your Friend
2007-01-11 07:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that was the way u were brought u. But I do think that u should give them a chance. this is my story, i was 2 months when my dad died. I grew up in a house hold of one twin brother and a older brother. My brothers really didn't to much feel for that part of are lives,but i did. so i learned that i wasn't going to need any body to help me or take care of me. I felt alone all the time. It took a major event in my life to snap me back into reality. I guess what I'm trying to say is," Don't push away a great opportunity of knowing your family. I almost lost mine."
2007-01-09 17:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by honey.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are scared and running and need to stop. Just because you were not raised to love and care for each other you are still family. Take the chance and get to know them, you might actually like them. family is very important in life and even though you have been lacking this and know how to live without it, dont shut them out. Life is short and you never know when you could be gone so make wise choices.
2007-01-09 17:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I understand and cannot blame the anger and resentment that you have against your family. However, blood is thicker than water. I know there is no way you would ever forget what was said and done to you, but you must forgive your family. Im sorry about your mother, but would she want her family to be distant like that. If I were you, I would let them know that I love them as well, but I would rather not have anything to do with them. It takes time for all wounds to heal, so you take as much time as you need, but deep down inside I am confident that you have love for your family. It is their ways of life you resent. Let them know you forgive them, but you will never forget about what they done, and for that reason, you would rather them to leave you alone and let you take care of yourself like you've been doing.
2007-01-09 17:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.shauncy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't need to be so harsh. You are hurt because they never made any effort to care about you while you were younger, so they are trying to make up for lost time. Because you've learned to deal without them, covering the wound with a scab, them reaching out to you is like tearing the scab off, leaving a bloody mess. You don't have to absolutely adore them, but it might be a good idea to learn about what they've become and what's going on in their lives.
2007-01-09 17:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by Traveler 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is your family and even though they were young and felt what they did was necessary it seems that they still cared for you. They may have even looked for you but because you didn't have a real address they couldn't find you. I don't think that you don't love your family, I think that what they did really hurt and you fear is to be hurt again. If you didn't really care you wouldn't be asking did you do the right thing,
2007-01-09 17:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by m W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if your sister getting married found a way to love and want to share that with you since there was no family love growing up together. I'd say, give it a try.
2007-01-09 17:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You only get one life. While I would say that you should live it to the fullest however you feel best, I'd also say you may be liable to miss out on a lot if you let pride eat you alive. I don't know what to say on this one as my brothers haven't come around to that point yet. I understand your sentiment, though. I honestly hope they never do.
2007-01-09 17:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by your_name_here 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well she is your sister so technically she's ur family. but i think its kinda fcked up that ur brother told you to take care of yourself and ur sisters just ran off and get married. if i was to be in this kind of situation, i would be soo pissed and do what you did. i mean.. if my sisters and brother love me, they would take care of me, no matter what. family would always be there for you through thick and thin. the fact that they left you, dats just fcked up. :( so yea.. if i was you, i would have done the same thing. it might not be the right thing to do, but all i know its not your fault for feeling the way you feel and doing what you did.
2007-01-09 17:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by marsha 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that sucks. You only have one family. Everyone makes mistakes and you should forgive and give them a chance. If they screw it up now you can walk away because they know better. Everyone needs someone!!!!!
2007-01-09 17:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by bb77blueeyes 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋