What do you think of it?
Please be HONEST
Not required, but would like:
suggestions for improvement
rating
etc.
When th sun fades
And all we're left with is the memory
Of warmth and energy
There is always the stars
Always the stars to remind us
Of what has happened
The good, bad, ugly
And all the rest
The sweet taste of victory
Behind George Washingtons
And the bitter stench of defeat
The anguishing cries of 'nam.
The memories, the special moments
Of loved ones lost
Will be with us always
When we look to the stars
2007-01-09 09:41:58 · 6 answers · asked by Spearfish 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I actually really like it. It was unique and catchy. I'm impressed.
2007-01-09 09:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by kristonianinstitution 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's alright. Keep writing... creativity is a beautiful thing. There will always be critics who don't like it. Just keep doing it and if I were you I would get a degree in English. Maybe you'll be a writer or famous poet someday... but you have to get a degree in order to be taken seriously by many... plus, it may help to make you all the more talented. Good work.
2007-01-09 09:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first stanza is kind of nice. But you do have too many overused phrases: "the good, bad, ugly," "sweet taste of victory, bitter stench of defeat." And I don't get your reference to George Washington. But you show potential. Try a little harder. (P.S. I'm a published poet.)
2007-01-09 09:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by carol j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boring
2007-01-09 09:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by JROCK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The second stanza is kinda impfy, could work on it. Didnt quite like the "ugly...and all the rest" part. But otherwise A+++++ good job =]
2007-01-09 09:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by purrdy_blue_eyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha loser!
2007-01-09 09:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by demjeans5454 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋