I'm afraid of marriage for many reasons. The biggest one is having to get permission in order to spend my money my way without permission like I did when I was a kid. What are people's experience with this? One of my friends just gives his wife the finger when she complains about his spending. I like guys who put women in their places.....I need to learn.
2007-01-09 09:38:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is a 50/50 deal. Why would you need permission to spend your own money? My huband and I spend our own money on what we want when we want. However, we do budget out what needs to be paid first then it's fun time.
Women aren't supposed to be put in their places and if you think that way then you will need to wait on marriage because getting married means you are having a best friend for life!
2007-01-09 09:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put women in their places?!? Don't be stupid.
Marriage is a partnership. For your marriage to be successful you must put your partners' needs ahead of your own.
As for "Distribution of the Family Resources": Easy- Three accounts = His, Hers and Ours. Split the normal monthly expenses in proportion to how the money comes in ( She makes 60K, He makes 40K, Contribute to the OUR account 60/40)
Then - commit to a savings goal... ex. 10K per year total in "Our Savings".
Finally - Agree on an _Equal_ "allowance" that you each get to burn at your own discretion. Agree that any purchase over a fixed amount ($100?) must be discussed ahead of time.
A Marriage should be Open and Honest, especially about money, or you'll end up divorced.
2007-01-09 11:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by Cameron S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shoudn't be "AFRAID." In my opinion you aren't afraid of marriage you are just not ready.
PS You shouldn't need to ask for permission to spend money you have a mutual understanding yes, but permission no.
2007-01-09 10:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by JAG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you like guys who put women in their places??? hmm. well, for one, marriage is a big responsibility. you don't need to have persmission in order to spend money but you need to be smart. realize that you are saving money for your future family. believe me - you will want something to fall back on and if you don't agree - i'm sure your marriage will consist of a trailor and a broken vehicle. you need to watch your money. when you start having kids, they will need money for clothes, school as well as items for fun. yes, granted, marriage is about the joining of two people who are in love, but if it's money you're concerned about - you need to be smart about it.
if you feel that you need to have permission from your spouse - you have issues. it's not right for one of you to take control over the finances and say "this must be saved" or "we should spend money on this". it is something you two must come together because of what you have ahead of you.
my advice, if you are afraid to give up your independance as you are suggesting - you don't need to be getting married. marriage should never be something you're afraid of. as for another thing - try joining the military and see how a female drill sgt puts you in your place. you might come out respecting women a bit more because we work just as hard to make a living.
2007-01-09 09:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by Shakti Svātantrya Isa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
excuse me but women don't need to be put in there places. You shouldn't be affraid of marriage it can be a good thing if you both love eachother and want to be together for the long haul. you both can agree on who is goign to handle the money like paying the bills and stuff how you spend your money is your business as lons as your not going into the money thats for bills and food and rent thats all I would say..the way my husband and I do it is we split the money in half after we pay what we need to pay and then we don't half to answer to the other what we do with the money after that.
2007-01-09 09:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know concerning the finances. There is a very popular technique going on now days. Three bank accounts. His, Hers, the households.
What ever money he makes goes in his account, likewise for her. Then they compute the household bills and put their percentage of funds in the 3rd account. Such as. The mortgage payment is $1000 a month. He makes 60% of the household income and she makes 40%. He puts in $600, and she puts in $400. What ever funds that do not go into the household account is yours to do with what you wish. Lots of my friends do this, but it only really works if you both work.
2007-01-09 09:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With that way of thinking, I wouldn't be afraid of marriage, I would just say DON'T get married till you grow up and learn how to respect women and learn that a wife is NOT a husbands slave, that a marriage is a partnership, and that your both equal.
2007-01-09 09:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
perchance in view which you're worried of ending up with a broken kin. the final suited factor to do is to have him talk to a Psychiatrist to ascertain the actuality at the back of him no longer desirous to get Married, comparable is going for you. yet do you relatively choose a marriage to state your love 4 one yet another? i do no longer think of so.
2016-10-06 21:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Permission? From who? Marriage is share and share alike, give and take. The day you have to start asking permission to do anything is they day you give them permission to kiss your ***.
2007-01-09 09:44:38 · answer #9 · answered by desertskieswoman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you should be afraid . it sucks to have to tell someone
what you are spending your money on and have to hear it
if they don't agree. I was married for 5 years it was hell if you
don't like anyone telling what and when to do.
2007-01-09 09:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by klaudia 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋