my 21 month old son's father has NOT been involved from the moment i found i was pregnant with him, fortunatly i was able to find a guy to whom treats my son like his own and i am 8 months pregnant with his child. anywho, i do not want to go for child support for my sons father because i feel it will give him more reason to see my son and have over night visits, which i will not let this man be left alone with MY child if my life depended on it. is this a good idea? or will it hurt my son?
2007-01-09 09:38:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
you see.. the thing is , my sons father denies michael when it comes to the courts or anyonre important, but its his kid when its between him and i.now, my boyfriend now wants to adopt michael but he wishes to do the samething he had to do when he was a child, let my son choose if he wants him to be his father.we are not married but common law and will be getting married. yes, i am upset that my son sperm donar gets off on all the responsibilities. kinda pisses me of, he claims he "wasnt ready" to be a father. yet he doesnt understand that i was 18 without a stable home at the time no job and going on walfare. and now i have a two bdrm apt fully furnished and happily raising the most beautiful lil boy ever!!!!
2007-01-09 09:58:04 · update #1
This is not about you or the father. When you brought that baby into this world, everything is about him. Good girl for getting on your feet without the daddy. I have lived this, and the only question you need to ask yourself is it in your son's best interest to know this man? If you don't trust him, and he wants no part of this baby shame on him. You've moved on. However, child support has nothing to do with him seeing the baby. Making him pay does not give him the right to see him. If you were on welfare, and they have the fathers name, they will get him for child support. That is your son's money, and even if you don't want to use it, so that you can say you and your new man did everything for your boy so what. Get it, and put it in savings to give your boy college money and money to start a future with. Then go to court and get full custody. Don't let the other fellow adopt until you have been married to him for a long time and know that he's going to be there forever. No one needs to lose more than one dad in a life time. Think of only him and his needs and everything will work out.
2007-01-09 13:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by Susan C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they pay child support then they get visitation unless you can prove that it needs to be supervised. I would file abondonment and have his rights terminated. Are you married to the second guy? The thing about situations like this is one day you think you are doing the right thing and then the next it blows up in your face. If you are married to the second guy, he could always adopt your son. Is the birth father on the birth certificate, because if he his he already has rights to the child regardless of if he pays child support or not. Sounds like the birth father would probably sign his rights away anyway. Your son is still pretty young, so more than likely if you get it together now he will be okay. Just make sure you are not replacing one loser with another one.
2007-01-09 09:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Hair Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you support your child without the money? That really is the question, will denying your child the money hurt them in the long run? Eventually your child may want contact with his father, which you might have less control over.
I would speak with a lawyer, since he has not done anything for the child over the past several months I do not see that he would be permitted to have over night visits.
I would see if the attorney thought it was reasonable for you to go for supervised limited visits only (supervised by the court system not you so there is documentation of his interaction with the child).
Most pediatricians do not recommend overnight visits for children younger than 5. ESPECIALLY for non existent fathers, the courts are not going to look highly on him.
Good luck, I sympathize with your completely, my best friend has been going through a similar situation.
2007-01-09 09:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend has full custody and the daddy has no rights but one sunday afternoon a month plus he has to pay child support. It all depends. Maybe new man will adopt and all rights will be lost.
2007-01-09 09:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
C if that guy can adopt ur child. Maybe the childs father would give up gis rights. Thats all i have! Good luck!
2007-01-09 09:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it relatively appears like u are depressing! U r def. authentic for desirous to bypass away him, he does not get exhilaration from u in any respect! I promise u, if ya'll stay at the same time and this is how ur relationship is, your baby would have the means to tell. regardless of u come to a determination, do what's interior the main suitable interest of ur toddler! each so often u would desire to elect to love your self and your baby better than your guy!
2016-10-30 11:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it will hurt your son and why shouldnt this man be paying its his child too make him help support it or marry thisother guy and make him sign away his rights and have the other guy adopt. this child has a right to know and have his dad in his life. its not all about you. its about this child and not what you want. let his dad be in his life he deserves to know him
2007-01-09 09:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you aren't just being vindictive? That father has a right to know his child and viseversa. If he chooses not to know his child then he can sign off.
Just don't be like this because you have hard feelings. It won't be fair to anyone.
2007-01-09 09:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Amen their are women out their that think like me:I think you should follow your instincs.......and if you have a great man in your life that will love your child dont even bother bringing another man into his life even if he is his biological father---Because 1st of all he wasnt their in the begining....!and what assures you he will be their now...it will just confuse your little boy.....
2007-01-09 09:53:43 · answer #9 · answered by R.J 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it want hurt him i got raped and my babies think my boyfriend is they daddy so everything will be all good.
2007-01-09 09:44:43 · answer #10 · answered by Due 3/3/10 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋