Is my husband just misunderstood or is he the inconsiderate bastard I think he is?

Question

My husband goes on several "conferences" and "workshops" leaving me to take care of our two children (one is autistic) by myself for 5 to 8 days at a time. After waiting all day to see when he would be home, he just called me at 4 pm to tell me that his 7:30 am flight was changed and he missed it this morning. He was just leaving the airport when he called me. He does this all the time. He will actually tell his Mom or sister about it but never call me. Am I totally crazy or is he just an inconsiderate jerk?

Answer 1

He is a jerk, tell him you need to know when there are changes in his plans. And you need a break away from the two children that you love. Either get a baby sitter or let him watch them one weekend and you and a few girlfriends go somewhere for a few days and let him see how it feels. Then call his mother and tell her your plans, way before you call him with any change in plans and let him find out how it feel.

But really you need to have some time away yourself or you will burn your self out. A week end or more time away would do you good. Either with him or with friends or even family members where you do not have to worry about the kids.

But you need to let your husband know he is being inconsiderate to you. That your are his wife not a paid maid. You need to know all the important stuff before he calls his mother or sister, that yes they are family too, but you both or suppose to be a team not working against each other but working together making a home and family. If he does not understand then he is a Big Inconsiderate Jerk in the land.

Answer 2

honey, if that's the main important of your issues, you're a fortunate fortunate female. so he DIDNT want to circulate drop a pair hundred on a clean grill, whoopdy do. i quite dont think of your visitors could have observed, or cared. and in the event that they DO care with regard to the state of your barbecue, you ought to locate much less shallow buddies. the subject right here isnt your husband. he quite feels like he has a point head on his shoulders and doesnt want to circulate out and spend money that does no longer must be spent. (via fact heavily, if final years bbq works in basic terms superb, why circulate get a clean one? thats this style of undesirable waste of money). the subject is you the two think of a few distance too rather of your status in existence, or you have some quite shallow buddies that care fullyyt too plenty in case you have a clean grill or no longer. im keen to wager that maximum of your human beings talk at the back of your decrease back approximately how showoffy and what a waste that's to purchase a clean grill each year. edit!!! Aimee! pretentious! thats the observe i become searching for! thank you!

Answer 3

Honestly, he is being an inconsiderate self-centered jerk. I believe what's good for the goose...! I truly believe that most men require a "see how it feels" in order to fully understand what they are doing is hurtful to us. As decent human beings, it can be difficult to "force" ourselves to be as inconsiderate and self-centered as these male offenders, but when we finally get there, the results are of great quality, usually lasts a long time and is great for the "remember when you...then I...?" arguments of the future.

Answer 4

You are the inconsiderate one. Sounds like all you do is sit on your butt. Get out there and be a good provider for the family. Women are equal to men are they not? Get out and be sure to call by 7:30 if your flight is canceled.

Inconsiderate jerk.

Answer 5

Hi there !!

Seems to me honey like you are having some hiccups in this relationship.

You guys need to begin to communicate with each other

You have to realize that you may have a lot of things on your plate ( I was there myself ) in your home, some men get so stressed out , they do not know how to cope or express their feelings. Having an autistic child can be very frustrating for parents, so I would try a different approach to see how this can be resolved

Try to find mommy time, first of all, something to make you feel good , A nice long bath with candle light, a glass of wine, a fluffy bathrobe, a day out with the girls, a haircut or change of color, do something good for you. Do some spring cleaning in january, clean your closet, making way for betther things to come.

Begin to call your hubby for no reasen and tell him you were thinking about him, and how much you love him. Short and sweet.
When he is home, have a date night, just the two of you

Send him flowers to his hotel room , with a note , I love you, your wife, lover and friend ( and your name)

How is your relationship with his mom and sister?
if not so good, try to make it work, they are betther on your side than not.

Be smart honey, I know you are upset, I would be too, but you know something, we catch more bees with honey. So sweeten up your hive , and go to the attack with love, honesty and peace above all

love light and peace

may you find the peace within
may your words be guided by the lord
may your husband feel your gentle embrace when far from you, and hear you whisper in his ear,
wishing you only the best

Answer 6

Sounds like a good provider for his family however could use some lesson's in edicat. Certainly he should have told you anytime that he was going to be tardy. Maybe some time alone and or counseling would help out with you and your man. I know how difficult it must be to raise a special needs child like you are doing. If there is a support system that allows you some alone time from this for a break then use it to your advantage also. But as far as your husband goes I would suggest that you and he have a good, open and honest heart to heart and lay all your cards on the table. Hopefully he will see where he has been remiss in your relationship and take your suggestions to heart. Best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 7

Speaking as a husband, he is an inconsiderate jerk...and that's about as polite as I can put it.

I'm not a world class business traveler, but I can't think of many real business conferences/workshops that can take that much time...especially 8 days! Just to make a suggestion: plan your days around you & the kids. He doesn't seem to be including you & his children in his life...or at the very least seems to care about it.

Answer 8

Your upset. Men are inconsiderate in women's feelings but men are also very humble when their shortcomings are pointed out. When they walk in the door and you know they are safe and the long overdue kiss is given things seem rather small in comparison.

Besides, you said he tells his Mom so he can not be a bastard

Answer 9

First off I would question these "conferences"...who is he going with and what's the catch? It seems like an awful long time for him to be away and he doesn't even keep in touch with you like should?!

I think the fact that he is keeping better contact with his mother and sister rather than you shows that there is a problem in the marriage. I think he's being very inconsiderate and potentially unfaithful...

I am sorry that you are left to take care of your kids without help. I know that can be hard. I have five of my own and two of them have severe speech disorders...

Good luck...

Answer 10

I think you need to be grateful, even if it was for a month you should be. Some women like myself have to be with out their husband for 6 to 9 months. My husband is going to Iraq in September that's only two months after i have our first child. Would you rather go through that or be without him for 5 to 8 days. Some times its good for people to sit back and think of the people that have it worse off. I think that's what you need to do because it could be alto worse. And i know what you are thinking "Well then maybe you should do that and stop boo hooing about your husband going to Iraq" Well I do for the record i think of all the men who haven't come back yet and realize that it could be worse he could leave and not come back at all.