You open your door and William Hague is standing there. What do you do....?

Question

You open your door and William Hague is standing there holding a DVD in one hand and Chinese takeaway in the other. He's demanding to be let in, insisting you have a "date night" planned in front of the telly. He reeks slightly of leeks and alcohol, and he's wearing a t shirt with Gordon Brown's picture on it. Perhaps he has a baseball cap on backwards. He has that crazed look in his eye.
What do you do?

Answer 1

Madam soup knowing your fascination with William Hague i should let him in , give him a black coffee and a mint and then have a romantic interlude with him hoping of coarse his y fronts don't have a picture of Margret Thatcher on them.

Answer 2

Take the DVD and Chinese takeaway off him, give him a cup of black coffee insist he takes a shower, give him some clean clothes, put him in a taxi and send him to your house so you can do with him as you wish, while I share the Chinese with my hubby cuddled up on the sofa watching the DVD.

Answer 3

I would lead him in carefully, taking care that he doesn't stumble and accidentally hurt himself. I would then tell him his shirt was dirty and offer to "wash" it for him as I would clearly want his shirt for my own. I would sit him down on the couch in front of the telly, prepare him an additional leek and vodka martini and call up a "pal" of mine who is quite enamoured with Mr. Hague. While we were waiting for her to come up him up, Willy and I would dine upon the finery of the chinese takeaway and sip our cockytails.

Answer 4

it would want to nicely be worth it basically to grant be conscious to both the police rigidity and the community. With an attitude like that, he doesn't belong on the police rigidity, and he may be more effective of a risk to the community than the guy harassing you. If I were you, i might want to be very tempted to the contact a reporter at your community newspaper or television station, and/or write a letter on your newspaper's editorial section. you may also document each call to the branch, i.e. date, time, who you talked to, etc...Their reaction time is amazingly unacceptable, and what the cop stated to you become completely unprofessional. personally, I probable might want to are growing myself in trouble because i might want to were so tempted to make a remark about how a lot more effective rapidly he might want to have arrived if a donut save become being robbed.

Answer 5

I would try to shuffle him out the door but it would be too late, and William would spy Peter Mandleson, standing in my hallway dressed only in tight shirt and a pair of my boxers.

“Ooh. This is awkward.” I’d say to Willy. “I guess when I told you I was staying in I meant I was buggering the European Trade Commissioner.”

“Willy!” Peter would say, “You said you were doing your hair this evening…”

“What!” I’d turn to Peter, “So I was your second choice tonight? You told me -”

But then Peter would interrupt me saying “Hey, Willy, I gave that Gordon Brown shirt to Borris Johnson…how did you end up with it?”

“Don’t look at me” Willy would reply, “I got it from Prezzer”

“Oh that’s where I recognise th-“ I would say before I could stop myself.

I imagine we would all laugh about it later. And it would make a great anecdote at one of Cameron’s doos.

Answer 6

What a strange imagination you have Veggi.
Try and find my question about Yahoo Questioners.
I'd be interested to know who is your fave YQ person.

Answer 7

Send him round your house.

Answer 8

Shut the door...

Answer 9

i'd say who the heck are you and what do you want? then i would shut the door in his face

Answer 10

hes a bald git, and a failed politician, come round my place instead, i`m vegetarian, and friendly!