He lives in minnesota, and I live in Louisiana, and I asked him if this summer they could come home three weeks early so they could go on vacation with me and my family, and he is not wanting to give those 3 weeks up, saying that is his time. I have never been able to take my girls on a summer vacation with us and I don't think thats fair!! I think it would be fair, if every 3rd year he let them go 3 weeks early so they can come with us. Love to hear some opinions on this! Thanks!!!
2007-01-09 09:15:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well if he has the legal rights and/or has been awarded custody for this period of time then I suppose I would have to say it is right. Although it may appear unfair it is legal. If you would like to have this amended you should return to the courts and see if you can have your children for some of the summertime also. Other than that if you two cannot agree it is a shame and in fact the kids should have some say into their vacations also, and if they want to spend some time with their mother then that should be taken into account. Your suggestion as to how to get around this does sound very reasonable to me, but I am not the person who makes the final judgment and hopefully if you do return for a variation to the custody order and/or visitation the judge will agree also. Best of luck.
2007-01-09 09:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is nothing "fair" when it comes to child custody. Someone is always hurt or left out especially when there is a lot of miles between parents. You should be thinking of your girls and not your vacation. If you want them to go on vacation with you schedule it over Christmas break, or Easter. There is no rule that says you must take vacation in the summer. You know they will be with their father every summer for the summer so plan accordingly. He is entitled to his time with the girls as well. Do you begrudge your daughters the time they deserve with their Dad? Their time with their father is as important as their time with you...it is about them...not about you and your relationship with you ex. Rise above the petty stuff and think only of your children and plan accordingly. Don't make them feel left out by planning a great vacation while they are gone and telling them "It's your father's fault your not going." In the long run that will boomerang back on you...and you'll regret it.
2007-01-09 17:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Count yourself lucky that he takes the girls for the summer. dont know of many men who will even spend a week or two with them now days,
However, he could give in once and for the sake of the girls let them go home early once to do this.
keep trying and maybe he will relent but do not do it so it cause hurt to the girls. it is there feelings you both have to protect, not your own.
We as adults can get over it, kids live with it for the rest of their lives. good luck.
2007-01-09 17:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should allow your ex to have the children during the school year and you should have them in the summer.
Minnesota Schools are the best in the country, it's what would be best for your children.
2007-01-09 22:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by Tiff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel the same way you do. Unfortunately that is how it goes. He has to go the whole year without having them. What if he wanted to switch? You wouldnt like that either. Either case it really sucks and it is all about being sellfish. I would be selfish as well but you cant be like that. Sorry you have to take the good with the bad and whats right is right.
2007-01-09 17:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by sdexcalibur 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He only gets them during the summer. Let him have his time with his children. You sound very whiny concerning this. You are being unfair, you are the one who is out of line. He is trying to be a good father and be involved with his children when they are available to him. You should not try and take that away from him. So few fathers are involved in their children's lives. Perhaps you should be grateful that he is still around.
2007-01-09 17:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's fair if that is the only time their father gets to spend with them. Couldn't you just take a vacation when they get back? If not do it before they go visit their dad.
2007-01-09 17:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by Momof1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand your desire to have a vacation with your children but you have to understand that the summer his only time with them so that means you get to see them a lot more than he does. maybe you could come to a compromise with him and say let them go there every other year durring their christmas and easter vacations in exchange for 2 weeks in the summer
2007-01-09 17:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Tissa 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why not take them o na vacation during the winter? when they have off for school?
sorry to tel lyou this but i think hes right to want to be with his daughters all summer long if you have them all the time.
Maybe a week earlier he would be willing to give them up so you cna go on vacation with them, otherwise, I think it's fair.
2007-01-09 17:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by ascanio91 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
The definition of "fair" is what YOU want. (HE make think it "unfair" that you are asking....) The courts, I'm guessing, assigned custody times. If you wish it changed, and he is not willing to give them up a few weeks early, you'll probably likely have to get it changed legally....but if your daughters are old enough (age 6 or older) , shouldn't their input be considered?
2007-01-09 17:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋