What to say when someone talks about old relationships?

Question

For some reason, when I first meet people, they constantly talk about their ex's...and it's like...shutup about your ex...that's why you're trying to be with ME, b/c your ex was an ******...so let's talk about us or me or you!! And then I wonder if all that attention on them is an indication that they still want to be with them...what's the best way to diplomatically change the topic?

Answer 1

Just start to ask them about themselves. What they like? ect. And by the time you know it your on a new topic. Good luck!

Answer 2

Bringing up one's ex is a common first date faux pas, and can occasionally be pardoned. But going on and on about one's ex is a more serious offense, and tells the other person that you would rather think about someone else.

If the other person has a lot to offer (great personality, looks, etc.), and they start talking about their ex, you might want to engage them in some other kind of conversation before it goes too far. Just find a way, any way, to leap in and cut them off, no matter how tangential it may seem, and hopefully you two will have such an enchanting conversation that the subject of the ex will not come up again.

If the other person isn't doing it for you, AND they're boring you by talking about the ex on top of it, check your watch a lot. Yawn. Let your eyes wander. Pay your check or tab at the earliest available opportunity. Mention how you have to work early in the morning. Tell them that you will call them tomorrow, but do not.

Answer 3

Just diplomatically change the topic! I mean, there's nothing wrong with brining up an ex once or twice in the first conversation. Its harmless and normal. But if they continue to go on and on and on, just be blunt! Say "Look, im not your ex. Im not even your current. Although i may like to be. But we'll never find out if you dont get off the ex and start talkin about the NEXT!"

Answer 4

Its because they cannot get over their ex. Thats usually a sign that maybe, they are in a rebound relationship.
Its also just a topic of conversation. They are listing their imperfections to you so that you feel more obligated to feel sorry for them, or just figure that, if you can top that, then I don't want you.
Its interesting.
Sometimes you just have to bring it to their attention. If you let them ramble on about their ex they WILL..or, you can just say, "I understand you had a hard time with your ex, but if it means anything to you, I would like to get to know YOU more..not what happened with your ex."
They are more likely to move on.

Answer 5

some people feel that learning about pasts are an important way to get to know your current partner. the more you know about their past, the more you can understand who they are, why they feel the way they do, what mistakes they have learned from.

usually, those who care about pasts will end up asking.. it's not common for someone to openly volunteer all this info up front,

you should ask your partner why they feel the need to constantly talk about their ex. reassure them that you aren't all that concerned and don't really feel you need to hear it.

but hmmm, you could be right.. could be this person is fresh out of a relationship and still hasn't gotten over their ex. and talking about their ex and talking about their feelings is a good way for them to get over it and bring closure.. but could be this person isn't totally emotionally moved on. they might just need a friend to vent to before they are totally free and ready to date and move on for love with you..

Answer 6

Say, " I had an ex who was a serial killer"
And, that way they won't feel as though they are gonna have to live up to something with you and they can relax and be themselves and their ex will never be as bad as that.
HOPE I HELPED HONEY!