I have been with my kids father for 8 yrs. He is no good, but since I haven't had any other options I have stayed with him. I am so tired of the constant arguing but, I dont want to be alone. what should I do.
2007-01-09 08:51:37 · 12 answers · asked by monicr@ck 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Now granted we don't live together and hardly see each other. I do put my kids above anyone else that's why when I do go over there my kids are no where near, they go to his house every other weekend without me. I dont want them to know about the fighting, they are too young to understand. I told them we are not together. This is something that I deal with b/c I would rather not be out there with every other guy. Until I find that special someone (which i haven't found).
2007-01-10 04:44:23 · update #1
Sweetheart, what exactly are you afraid of? you're not happy with him yet you stay...you know you'll be better off without all the bickering & fighting yet you don't take steps to make your life & the lives of your children happier....things can't get any worse can they? come on Babe, you know life can only improve...yes you may miss him at times but that doesn't mean you should still be with him.
You'll meet someone else in time but you'll never meet anyone while you're stuck in this situation will you?
I believe that when people split up they should take a little time to just be alone...yes you have your children...so you're not entirely alone....but just shouldn't be in a relationship straight away....the time should be spent for getting back to you a little & reflecting on why things went so wrong. As time passes & it's right you'll meet someone else...It's not healthy for you or your children that you just go from one relationship to another...try to stop & think about the influence you're having on your little ones lives & in turn their futures....
Good luck whichever way you choose to go
2007-01-09 09:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to learn to love yourself. You deserve to be loved and your self-validation sounds as though it comes from men. I am happier than I've been in a long time. I'm a single mother with three children. (12, 7, years and 22 months. When I broke things off with my children's father it was hurtful. But you take it day by day..make priorities. Some alone time can be beneficial to discover who you really are. That was two years ago when I broke it off.
There is no way you should settle for someone who is not good for you. Regardless of having children. Children are not dumb and can sense the atmosphere..peaceful or bitterness. Arguing is not good for you or the children.
Don't worry about being alone. If you have beautiful qualities men will attract to you. I haven't had a man in two years and I am happy. I am pursuing my dreams, as well as making great plans for my children.
2007-01-09 17:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are realizing this man is not for you you need to get out! Don't feel like you have to stay with him just because you have kids together and/or don't want to be alone. Being alone is better than being treated like garbage and fighting all the time which fighting all the time is not good for the kids to see.
2007-01-09 16:57:49 · answer #3 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to think of the kids, first, you can't stay if you are unhappy and with a lot of fighting going on. You can stand on you on trust me I was once in your shoes I left with four kids and there was a lot of abuse, verbally mentally and physical along with cheating and not working and the control was unreal, I up and left when I didn't know if I could do on my own, I have been gone for almost two years and am happy to say that I filed for divorce and now am divorced and I have made it, it hasn't been easy but when you find the fight in you you can do it. I promise you will be able to do it. good luck
2007-01-09 17:36:11 · answer #4 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a straw, suck it up!
Who does want to be alone, you think you're the only one who experiences that emotion? You're letting yourself be a victim when you can, with some time, some patience and some work actually find a guy who won't treat you like a victim but the queen you actually are. Get over your fear, stop wasting time with this loser and find somebody worth your attention.
Always remember if you can do better then you should. Never settle.
2007-01-09 17:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are alone you just think because you have another human being in the form of a male living with you that you are not. You won't find anyone else until you leave him, move on and make a life for yourself. Why is he no good? Does he love you? Support you and your children? If not, then he's not good.
2007-01-09 16:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, you are hurting yourself in the long run as well as your children. yes, granted, leaving your children's father could hurt them further, but it's no good for you to be in a relationship that is going no where. did you ever think that children can pick up on their parent's moods very easily? they may not understand why, but they know something is up. they will see that you are arguing and that something is bothering you. the question is, do you want to be happy for the rest of your life? my advice is to either get counciling for the both of you to work things out. if it doesn't work, then perhaps it's time for you to move on. yes, it sucks because the children are the ones who end up paying, but you can't stay in a relationship and fight and argue and pretend things are happy. if you aren't happy, fix it.
2007-01-09 16:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Shakti Svātantrya Isa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you should do is leave him because hes no good with you and believe me your kids see it as well. Don't you want to be happy? You deserve to be happy. I know your with him because of your kids but hey your making your life miserable. your kids will understand. about you not wanting to be alone you wont be cause you have your wonderful children. get out of the marriage its not worth it. Do it for you and your children
2007-01-09 17:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by chaparrabonita21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get rid of him. Its not fair to you children to stay with someone just because you don't want to be alone. Get rid of him, learn to stand on your own and another man will come around that is better and that will make you very happy. Main thing though, think of your children first.
2007-01-09 16:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by blommasbrat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask yourself theses questions...Do I want the best for my kids? Do i love them more than him? Do i love myself more than him? If u answered yes to any of these then it's time to be on your way to a better life without him. Good Luck
2007-01-09 17:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Veronica-supermom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋