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My fiance wants to get married for Valentine's Day but I still have apprehensions. I was the one who went through a divorce in Nov. 2005 and he is younger than me. I am seven years older than him.
Just wondering what thoughts statments anyone might have regarding this if it were you in my shoes.

2007-01-09 08:08:56 · 10 answers · asked by nougat 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

10 answers

If I was having doubts about a marriage than i wouldnt do it,cause thats what happened with my first husband and after 4 yrs and 2 kids we were going through the big "D".When my current husband and I got engaged there was no questions about what i wanted.It was the easiest thing I had ever done.It was both of ours second marriage,and things just went wonderful.We only dated 7 months and knew exactly what we wanted.I hope you figure out what you want.Only you can figure this out,cause only you know whether you can trust this guy or not.If he loves you and respects you and puts you first than that is all that should matter.GOOD LUCK!!

2007-01-09 08:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Chi-Chi 2 · 0 0

No, I was not the least bit scared to re-marry after my divorce. The divorce was traumatic, to be sure - my husband of 5 years walked out one day to be with someone else, completely out of the blue; doesn't get much worse than this, really. But the truth is - I have enjoyed married life, and I just knew that in the long run, I want to be married. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the heck out of being single as well, but the goal for me after the divorce had been to find a long-term relationship that would ultimately result in marriage. I think, having gone through the pain made it less, not more, frightening to take risks and get involved in serious relationships. The devil you know is not nearly as scary as the one you don't. After I felt like I've been to hell and back, and survived to tell the tale - I knew I could handle pretty much anything life threw my way. 6 years after my divorce, I am now married to a great man; I really enjoy our marriage, and I feel that any risks that I'm taking by making a committment to someone else are totally worth it.

If I may express an opinion on your situation - perhaps your reluctance to be getting married is not directly tied in to your having been divorced, but lies instead in the doubts you have about your current relationship? It's almost impossible to have absolutely no doubts - because there are no guarantees - but having too much doubt can indicate some internal dysfunction you're picking up on. 7 years is a big difference in a younger guy - older woman couple. Perhaps something is indicating to you that he is not mature enough to make this committment? Also, as time goes by, the age difference becomes accentuated - even in a couple of the same age, the woman often looks older; are you unsure about the practical implications of the age difference?

I would certainly be analyzing your present relationship for clues, not the past divorce. You don't need to rush, be honest with yourself and your fiancé. Good luck.

2007-01-09 08:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am on my 3rd marriage. I swore after my 2nd marriage that I would never do it again. In September 2005 I me the most wonderful man and in April 2006 we were married. My husband is 20 years older than me. This is something you should pray about and tell him of you apprehensions and fears. If you still want to wait and he really loves you he will be patient.

2007-01-09 08:51:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar Britches 1 · 0 0

No. If you are having doubts then don't get married!! The age difference seems to be a sticking point with you. It sounds like you should wait a bit longer too because you are obviously NOT over the divorce. This marrriage won't last if you go through it and you're like this.

2007-01-09 08:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I guess that depends.........I have been married for 6 years but basically in a relationship alone. My hubby physically and verbally abused me, didn't pay any attention to me or the kids.....etc.....Well, my divorce is final and this past year while waiting for it to be over and done with, I found this wonderful christian man that thinks the world of me. He is by my side continuously and cooks and cleans and loves my kids. He wants to get married this coming Febuary and I said YES!!! Do what your heart tells you. It will never lead you in the wrong direction. If I would have listened to my heart years ago...I wouldn't be in this mess. Good Luck and may God bless you and yours

2007-01-09 08:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by T&E 2 · 0 0

I was there; if you have apprehensions, then WAIT. Its just too big of a life changer to do it half heartedly, and when you are about to marry someone, you're supposed to be HAPPY and EXCITED. You dont sound like you'd be either of those things, and you owe it to yourself AND him to do it at the right time with a heart full of promise and anticipation...not apprehension....

LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE. I wish I would have.

To thing own self be true.

Good luck to you.

2007-01-09 08:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

sure. both. i'm honestly remarrying the following day and maximum adult men who're like me are petrified of failing a wedding ceremony lower back. Its a very not hassle-free ingredient-divorce, even although its the basically accurate ingredient on someones options even as they're in love. adult men are a peculiar breed, we act like we do not care yet we are the biggest bunch of scaredy cats even as it consists of our own emotions.

2016-12-28 13:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by felder 4 · 0 0

first---I would date the same guy for at least 12 months

after that

second---live together for at least 12 months

if after doing the above--2 years later---u still want to get married...then at least u will have considered the situation carefully

do not let anyone RUSH U INTO MARRIAGE AGAIN.....been there done that

2007-01-09 08:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0 0

If you are having any doubts talks them out with your other as you may find what is making you squirm is nothing at all.My new hubby is 10 years younger then me and i love it .Age is nothing as long as you two love each other and i have never been happier

2007-01-09 08:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by Donna Marie 2 · 0 0

As long as you have doubts......don't do it. It's always better to wait. Now if I were to get divorced, I'd probably never marry again.

2007-01-09 08:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0 0

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