ive been looking for him for 6 years and have finally found him.ive meet his wife and have regular contact with her,but my dad dosnt seem 2 be making an effert as ive only meet up with him twice.im a bit confused dose any one have any advice.
2007-01-09 08:03:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband was adopted, met his real mom and she won't even tell him who his real father is. She takes an interest in my husband but not in me or our children- her only grandchildren. Point is, a lot of people have trouble connecting with their parents- even if they've been raised by them. Men, especially because it seems to be harder for men to address their feelings. He probably just doesn't know how to connect with you. If you feel comfortable, ask him your question. As you seem to speak with his wife, ask her. I know this sounds trite, and is hard to do, but try not to take it personally. It probably has to do with something in him or what happened in the situation from which you were born. He could feel guilty, ashamed or just doesn't know what to do. It is a difficult situation for all involved. It may take time. Meanwhile, give it time and if you can, try to get some answers from them. You are not alone in this. I am sure your dad does not want to hurt you on purpose. A lot of situations like this are not what the movies portray- everything is great and you have this instant connection. Hope you have adopted or step-parents or a mom who are there for you. I hope this helps. It is not that uncommon unfortunately. Hey, at least you know who he is-my husband will never know! Keep the faith though. Things have a way of working themselves out even if it doesn't seems like they will. And most importantly, it is not your fault in anyway. God Bless
2007-01-09 08:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by angelina123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation may be different. My parents divorced when I was two. I found my father when I was a freshman in college. I still haven't see him. We have contact by mail and he sends gifts to my children and myself. Do you have a step-father? My step-father became my father figure. I also don't believe that you need to have a father figure to be complete. If he wants to be a part of your life then fine but if not then you really need to move on. You don't need to spend time and effort on someone who might be a bit selfish. If he doesn't want to get to know you then he is missing out on a wonderful experience. You deserve better!
I really hope this helps. I know that it is extremely painful but it is probably best to move on. I am so sorry that it isn't working out. Maybe he will change his mind.
I wasn't going to mention this but I have to. Does he owe you child support? If he does, try to claim now. The statue of limitations might be running out.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-01-09 08:16:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lauretta R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
satisfied Birthday. in case you extremely pick to satisfy him than I advise to sit down consisting of your father and mom and allow them comprehend precisely the way you experience, do no longer carry some thing lower back. i think it really is amazingly as a lot as you even as your previous adequate to make that decision. How lengthy have you ever been desirous to met your organic and organic father? Has your mom ever talked to you about him? and that i imagine that adverse comments out of your spouse and youngsters isn't good. you may have the capacity to make your human being judgment on you organic and organic father, you do not choose different kinfolk contributors saying adverse or undesirable issues to you. that does no longer help you in any respect, in the experience that they pick that can help you you than they could locate your father with you. good success and also you may be needing to keep an open options.
2016-12-28 13:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by felder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there....met my dad twice (once when I was 6 and once when I was 13). It seems that you made the effort and now if he ever decideds we wants to really see you then he'll make the effort. Don't hurt youself more by trying and him not making the mutual effort.
2007-01-09 08:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by the_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you on this one. If you meet his wife and your dad doesn't seem to care why bang your head. Your dad don't what to hear from you. He really has nothing to say. He knows you want answers and he don't want to tell you. You saw him now move on. Leave him alone. He can't be your dad now. I know you just want to know him. He YOUR dad. I only meet my dad twice in my life. And am over 30yrs old. They just don't want to be bother. Sorry.
2007-01-09 08:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old you are.
Below 18, go back to you mom. Your dad may not be ready to raise children.
Above 18, your dad may be affraid. See a therapist who can help you find different ways of approaching him.
2007-01-09 08:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by Limon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be as nervous as you and feels confused and worried about having any kind of relationship with you. you should talk to him about how you are feeling and tell him what you want out of the relationship. Keep working at it.
2007-01-09 08:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by leeanne m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's not making any effort let it go. you can't make him want to see you. as hard as it is hunny just leave him be, you've made it this far in life without him so you know you don't have to have him there. maybe one day he will wake up and realize what he lost out on.
2007-01-09 09:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by hippie_chick69love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be finding it difficult coming to terms with a 'new' child after so long.
It is not easy, but be patient, and maintain the comtact.
2007-01-09 08:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he shows no interest let it go, don't push for his affection
2007-01-09 08:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by sw312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋