Is it legal to have a child pay for their own expenses for almost everything they get?

Question

My friends says his parents tell him that he must pay for everything he gets. They won't pay for him unless he will pay them back. He is only 12 years old. Is it legal? He even has to pay back his parents even if it was just 25 cents! I don't think this is fair, because the only way he earns money is from his parents when he gets good grades. But he only has about $80 left right now. So is that legal? I want to help him out.

All answers and resources will be thankful.

10 points for the best answer!

He also has to pay for his glasses ($120) and some of his clothes. He doesn't pay the rent or food. He also doesn't request too many things. His parents only buy him something he wants and he doesn't pay only ONCE a year. He knows about money and how to save and not spend too much. He doesn't pay for internet or such things like that. Doesn't that sound a bit like child abuse?

By the way, his parents started to do this to him when he turned 11.

He knows how to spend money wisely, it's just that his parents say stuff like, "I'm not the one who will use this." or "I'm not going on this trip, so why should I pay?" He lives a hard life.

By the way, he also has to pay for some clothing, like sneakers, shoes, hats, but not the basic stuff. I know shoes and sneakers are basic, but he still has to pay for them.

Answer 1

Poor kid, his parents are taking the "teach your kids about money" thing a little too far. Tell your friend to sit down with his parents in a mature way and tell them how he feels about their strict ways. Because he is only 12, it being legal or not wont matter because he is in total custody of his parents. If they are abusing him by it or starving him, that is a totally different story and he should talk to a trusted adult that could help him.

Answer 2

It depends, if they are providing him with clothing, food and shelter but expect him to pay for his own games or whatever else he wants but doesn't "need" then no they are not breaking laws. If they are making him work for his basic needs then maybe. I think it's ok if they are making him pay for certain things like the extra stuff junk food or whatever. It teaches value for money.

My son is 8 and he and I are planning a trip when he turns 18. We each contribute to it. We are saving now because it teaches him values about money. He has to put 33% of all his money into the funds and I match it or put in more than he does. If for some reason we decide not to take the trip then when he turns 18 he'll still have that money in the bank. There's nothing wrong with teaching children about money. As long as they are not harming your friend the parents are doing a good thing. Too many kids grow up having no idea about money, checks, credit cards. Many times by the time they are 21 they are in debt and in trouble.

Answer 3

I am a mother of five children ranging from 12 years old to 1 year old, and I grew up in a household of six children. Niether as a child nor an adult did money grow on trees. Children can be very expensive. Sometimes a parent may have to choose between paying the mortgage or buying Christmas presents. Childrens items are getting more expensive by the day. A video game,or pair of sneakers can cost as much as $100. In my family, the children get one name brand pair of sneakers per year (the rest of thier shoes that year are bought from payless), they go clothes shopping only twice a year, and almost never get a new toy/game unless it's a birthday or holiday. The only money my kids recieve is allowance, $5 per week. Anything extra, they buy for themselves. I believe that the parents are responsible for the neccessities of the child, not the " I want that" of the child. You go on to say in your letter that the child knows about money and how not to spend too much, how do you think he learned that? I think your friend is raising a very finicially savvy person, who will exhibit a great work ethic, and have respect, appreciation and gratitude for everything he obtains in life. I also think that he will grow up with great self esteem in knowing that he obtained all his material possessions through his own hard work and sacrifice, rather than being handed everything he wants just because he asked. I think many parents do thier children a huge disservice by spoiling them. We are responsible for preparing our children for the "real" world. In the real world there is seldom enough money to pay for what you need, let alone purchase something you want. Unless I am missing something in your question, I do not believe that your friend is being abusive. On the contrary, I believe your friend is being a loving but stern parent, raising the kind of person I might want in my community.

Answer 4

Parents are obligated to provide their kids with the basic necessities to be safe and healthy, such as enough nutritious food and clothes that are warm enough. As long as they are doing that, any way their family chooses to manage money is legal.

I think your friend's parents are trying to teach him to be financially responsible. Instead of paying for things for him, they give him some amount of money which he then has to learn to budget. He's learning that if he buys item A that he wants, he might not have enough money left to buy item B that he also wants or even item C that he really needs. Just like when he's an adult, if he gets his paycheck and goes out and spends it all on clothes or electronic equipment or partying, he might not have enough money next week to pay his rent or buy groceries or pay for an emergency like car repairs.

My parents did something similar to this when I was a kid. They provided food and a place to live, but other than Christmas & birthdays they didn't buy us toys or fun stuff. Instead, we did chores and got an allowance, and we could save up and buy what we wanted. I actually liked that when I was a kid because I had control over what to buy and when to buy it, unlike a lot of my friends who just had to beg their parents and hope their parents were in a good mood that day if they wanted something. And I feel it really helped me to learn how to manage my money.

Answer 5

That is definitely NOT abuse. My parents had my siblings and me pay for anything we wanted that was not a necessity (food, shelter, etc)

We earned our own money--and I'm not talking about allowance--, and paid for our own clothing, toys, makeup, any electronics such as cd players, cell phones, etc.--and we are all the better for it.

I am very careful in how I spend money now. I think about whether I really need an item before I spend hard-earned cash on it.

It's insulting that this could be considered abuse. Far too many parents provide every luxury for their children. Those poor children will never learn how to save money, and shop carefully, if they are given everything they want on a silver spoon.
I consider THAT more abusive than the former scenario. Those parents are setting their children up to be financial failures.

Answer 6

A 12 year old can't work a real job, so i am guessing that you are saying your "friend" works around the house, his parents pay him, and then that money goes toward things he wants. My parents did the same thing to me. This teaches the value of money, and the importance of working.

On the other side, if the parents are making him pay rent/food/water that is wrong. Or if the parents are making him do anything that's against the law. But if they are supplying his NEEDS...and making him work for what he WANTS...wonderful!

I understand how you might see this as unfair. But it's life. Life is unfair.

Answer 7

Yes it's legal. They aren't beating him, or starving him to death. The glasses is a bit much, he should probably reason with him on that one. But when I turned 16 my parents started making me buy everything. It's a good way to teach him to save money, how to buget and not waste. They maybe taking it a little overboard though. Tell your friend to sit down with his parents and work out a better set of what they will pay for and what they won't. For example....everything he actually NEEDS, they should pay for.

Answer 8

Although, it may seem to be abuse, its not. I was raised that way. I bought my own clothes, paid for my own hobbies, habits and so on. I worked at alot of different jobs and always had money. I never expected a hand out from anyone. Never got one. As a young child, I was farmed out to grandparents to work on the farm, to parents needing a babysitter during the school year. Washed dishes for meals at the Legion. Paid my mother room and board as I got older. Join the military when I was old enough and paid her to take me on that last trip to town. I believe I am better for it. Alot of soft people in this world that are still waiting for someone else to foot the bill.

Answer 9

Well, it's alright if it's for something other than necessities, such as a game, pet, etc.
But it is definitely not right to deny basic human needs, such as food, soap, clothes, and whatnot.
You should definitely help him out, twelve is pretty young, when I read the topic I thought he would at least be fifteen...but twelve! He can't even have a job!

Answer 10

i dont know about the law bit but i think 12 is a little young i mean you cant even get a job at 12. that and legally you are your parents responsiblity until your 18 years old so id say it could be considered a form of abuse.