Should I tell my ex that my child could possibly be his after almost ten years?

Question

We are both married now and my child only knows my husband as Daddy. Any advice?

When I got pregnant, I was sure of myself that I knew who the father was. Now I'm starting to see features of my ex in my child. I told my husband and asked him to do a test, but he won't.

Answer 1

right off the bat for everone that is involved get a paternity test done.ouch. big can of worms to open up. my first question is does your husband know that there is a question about whos child it is biologically. If does then i would discuss it with him first. secondly i would access the situation if you have a good family life why upset the cart. I do believe eventually the child should be informed about his biological father, just because of medical reasons to start with. number two i believe the biologic father has a right to know. You have denied him a relationship with his own son, that is not fair to the son or the father,unless the biological is a complete asshole.. If your husband believes that he is the biological dad and its only yu that questions the paternity leave it alone unless you are ready to take on all the consquences that will and may occur. unfortunatly if this child is not your husbands the ghost will come out of the closet one day and youll have to face it then. im not a parent but i feel for you i hope that you can come to terms with this and it works out for the better for all involved good luck

Answer 2

I am in the same position....by daughter only know my fiancee as her father, her real father has never seen her and wants nothing to do with. he actually wanted me to have an abortion when i first told him......so i didnt put his name on her birth certificate and she has my last name. but of course she is only 2 1/2 years old, so when she started talking she called my fiancee "daddy" and that is the way it should be. he is a real father to her. so i think that i will probably tell her when she is older and explain it to her, but then i will let her decide whether or not she wants anything to do with him. But i say that you should let your child decide when they are old enough and it the other man doest know than maybe you should have a talk with him and explain your situation and tell him that waiting till the child can decide is probably what is best.....good luck

Answer 3

Your child has the right to know his real father. Can you tell your ex with assurance, or will you open up a can of worms for everyone? It is appalling that you would wait this long to tell the truth. If the ex is his real father, you should be ashamed of yourself. How terrible of you to do this.

Answer 4

Go watch the Maury Povich show for a few weeks, then decide what you want to do.

I'm not trying to be a smart a#$, but that's what the show is usually about: paternity tests and people revealing these kinds of things to one another.

Answer 5

Whew. That is tough.

Legally, if you know the child is not your ex's and he finds out that you hid it from him, you could be in trouble.

Does your husband know?

As a non-lawyer, I would say if you are the only one who knows, take it to your grave. Never say anything to anyone.

Answer 6

Why did it take you this long to figure this out??? He should know, although your child does not need to know at this point. I would much rather know who the father of my child is then pretend that it's not true.

Answer 7

No, Your child is happy with the daddy he has . You made a new life for you and your child let be.

Answer 8

No, no, no. You have nothing to gain by doing so. Don't confuse your child. You'll only make things worse. Your ex is your ex. Leave it that way.

Answer 9

Damn drama queen! Why didnt you tell him ten years ago? Too late now, now you have to wait until your child is 21. You made the bed, now lie in it.

Answer 10

Only tell him if you are 100% sure he is the father otherwise you will cause alot of heartache for everyone envolved for no reason.