the bad thing is dat she's so loud, and "ghetto", and has horrible bad habits, (from being an x-drug addict)...my husband doesn't want to admit that she uses him....and is jelous of me and what my husband and i have, and do. Also if she comes, it's her, her man,and her grand daughter who she has custody of. i love to help people....and help them have a better life.....but we've tried helping her in the past, and some of his sister's too, and we always end up paying a big bad price for it......i don't want her to come live with us and my husband argues with me that it wont be the same this time....she likes to instigate shytt between me and my husband and like to talk shyt about me too....(my husband has caught her!!) even if i say "no!" my husband tells her "yes!!"......i swear if things act up ...just a little....my "cup" is gonna over-flow......and i'm gettin the *** outta here! i'd hate to do it......but it's either me or her....he tells her EVERYTHING.....he's such a "mamma's boy!
2007-01-09 06:38:26 · 11 answers · asked by piragua2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"he's such a "mamma's boy!"
You married him this way. Either he had all the signs of this but you didn't see it or you did and you felt it would be different once married. Either way, you have a choice to leave or to stay and fight it.
He is afraid to stick up to his own mother. He has a wife now and his priority is you, not her. Put your food down and say that they can not live with you two as your marriage will be in jeopardy.
Then state that you would like to help (as to bend on his behalf if he wants to bend on yours) by giving some money to put down on an apartment. It is up to THEM to learn how to live on food, rent etc.
If she comes anyways and your answer is no, you tell her and him that this isn't going to work. Give him the choice, if she moves in, then I suppose you move out. This will test the marriage.
Seems to me he is ignoring your feelings and the marriage itself. He shouldn't be afraid of what his mom will say. He should be worried of what you will say and do.
2007-01-09 07:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its a good idea, but I don't like the her or me thing either, everyone needs to talk this out...shes probably awful and doesn't belong in your home, but hes not necessarily a mommas boy for having a hard time telling her no. This is his mother, and its gonna be hard but you 2 seem to need to have a very lengthy rational talk about all this and come to a compromise, and fast!
2007-01-09 06:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by bridezilla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no. It may have not worked as an ad campaign but it will work now. I tried this and it almost caused the end of my marriage. Seriously. You can sit down and help them find an answer to their financial problems by helping them help themselves. Unless you live in a mansion with a guest house they can stay in...say no.
2007-01-09 06:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Katrina V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HECK E NO. My husband wanted his mom to stay with us, at first i agreed, but everyday i would just start crying (no matter what I was doing) because i really didnt want her there. She tells fibs sometimes and I felt that she'd start some bull betwn me and hubby. when hubby asked what I was crying about, i said," TWO women can't live together and he said,"that's the same thing my sister said. needless to say, she never came to stay. Boy was I relieved
2007-01-09 06:44:30 · answer #4 · answered by toonice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband, no. See if you can find other ways to help his mother - but be firm on saying "no" re. living with her. You have the right to privacy as a married couple.
2007-01-09 06:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NNNNOOOOOOOOO. she and her 'tribe' cannot come and live with you. but if your husband insists on her coming to live with you, then you need to get out and get your own place before your mother-in-law comes to live with you. sometimes, we can argue and disagree until we turn blue in the face. but actions speak louder than words. do you have a job? if not then get a job so that you can provide for yourself while the 'drama' will go on when your mother in law moves in (if she moves in). and be sure to bring along anything that is valuable to you for it may be 'accidentally missing' when your mother in law comes to live there. dude...get your own small one bedroom apartment (or studio). that in itself my really give your husband a wake up call as far as how you feel about your mother in law coming to live with you.
2007-01-09 06:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him NO. Let him leave and get a place with his Mommy. If she's bad news, and she's burnt you before - I see no reason why you have to have her. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 06:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough one.
You just have to take a stand, and say NO!
You husband has to make the choice... his wife or his mother. If he chooses his mother, you know what you have to do. You need to split.
It is tough, I know, but that is what you have to do.
2007-01-09 06:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jack C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is no a difficult problem. i am live with a big family .here 22 female and 17 male. but all females and male live together. our family head is our grand mother. she give,s order and all male female Oby her order. if a person is not agree with grant mother he told clear it first own brother or sister . if her brother or sister not solve her problem. she dis case with grant mother . in this time grant mother perform a meting and after that she give a dis scion which any person obey this order. if i d,nt agree with my grant mother i give a special gift to grant mother. my grant mother agree with me after a big gift . i give U a special tips to give your mother in law a special gift . after this your mother in law is make your mother .
2007-01-09 07:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
run now! that has the potential of being bad and will turn out like that. save urself b4 its too late!!
2007-01-09 06:42:36 · answer #10 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋