My son is 7 yrs on going to be a 8 in the up coming months and very angry about my possible upcoming marriage among other things?.I had my son when i was 19 and in my second year of college he is the son of my first bf and well everything else.I graduated from college as a liberal arts major and buisniess minor.A few months later i went to persue history and become an archeologist after going back to school for 2 more years i did.My parents were a big help through all of this especially watching him.But after i graduated and began working it was hard on my son moving around a lot even spending time in Mongolia but he never had a problem with me dating till my current bf proposed?Now my well behaved child has turned into a monster!
2007-01-09 06:21:34 · 15 answers · asked by Mercedes l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The man in question has known my son since he was 3 yrs old and they have always been buddy'seven before we started dating till he proposed?My son has shut down and wont talk to me?
2007-01-09 06:22:17 · update #1
he is jealous he is thinking another person would come between you too probably having siblings and all that kind of stuff kids think of put your self on his place and you would understand****
2007-01-09 06:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kid is smart. He has realized that you marrying someone will change the dynamics of his home. He will now have to share you 24/7. He might FEEL he will be forgotten. He's scared of the change. Its been the two of you against the world for so long that now he's scared to add some to the mix. There probably has been times when he's felt neglected by you because of this other man. Now that you are probably planning a wedding he is feeling even more neglected. I recommend to include him in the plans. As an added touch I would suggest your bf friend to ASK your son if he could be his step father because you two are a package deal. Your son may feel that he has no control on what is happening. If you son says "NO" to your boyfriend being his step father then you need to STOP planning a wedding and put things on hold. You will still be engaged, but this will also tell your son what he thinks still matters and he is not being ignored. Your boyfriend can keep asking to be your son's step father. The idea is to include your son. Over time maybe a month or so your son will accept the boyfriend and agree.
2007-01-09 07:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well something had to have happened between this man and the child or the child would not be so opposed to the union. YOU need to take a break from the man and focus on your child to figure out what the problem is. If he's not talking to you, you might be part of the problem. Set the man on the back burner for a while and put your sons wants and needs first. Re-develop that bond of trust with you child and let him have the opportunity to open up to you and let you know what is bothering him. If the man truly loves you and is worth marrying, he'll understand that your boy is your blood and bone and the child's needs should always be put before the mans...
2007-01-09 06:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I swear this will sound crazy,but I just wouldn't marry the guy.I really wouldn't,your son has some reason for this shut down and you are young enough to wait for him to get over this.Something is wrong and you need to heed your son's warning.Just my opinion but too many things go on that we as parents don't learn about until years later and then we are consumed with guilt.Stay with your boy and end this relationship,I feel some thing serious is wrong here.
2007-01-09 06:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son has been the man in your life for a while. He feels that the fiance will take his place. Girls have the same feelings when their dad remarries. In fact, kids of divorce/single homes are afraid of being replaced by a spouse who has more power in the house and may boss them around. You have to make sure your son doesn't feel threatened by your new fiance/hubby.
2007-01-09 06:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest counseling for your son. I would not change my plans to wed because of his tactics. Afterall he is 7 and you shouldnt dare let a child run your life. I think counseling will benefit him or you all. He is pretty young to be shutting down and not talking so I wonder if there may be other issues. Good luck.
2007-01-09 06:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is for your fiance to talk to him, to assure him that everything will be ok. I assume the father does not have much to do with the boy, so you should also consider whether your new husband will adopt him.
It's hard on a young boy to be giving up "his woman". Time and lots of love and understanding will ease this transition.
2007-01-09 06:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by extra_37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son has had you all to himself and doesn't want to share you. Talk to him, let him know you will always be there for him and you're not going anywhere without him. He needs reassurance of your love.
2007-01-09 06:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a professional's advice. Blended families can be problematical, but certainly your son should not control you life. But you can help him adjust to this new reality.
2007-01-09 06:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your child doesn't want to share u, or have a new dad. maybe there is something about the man he doesn't like. best to find out what it is, and make sure your child is reassured u will always love him.
2007-01-09 11:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is traumatized by the idea that he must share you!
Family counseling and time will help him adjust.
2007-01-09 06:33:39 · answer #11 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋