I need an opinion. I have been happily married for 3 years and have a wonderful sex life. I am a stay at home wife and recently I asked my husband if he mind that I bought a vibrator (ie I explained I would not let it affect our sex life, he can still get booty every day from me.) He acted very rude and said that if i bought one he would never ever have sex with me again!! This hurt me because i feel that he is being selfish. Now should i a) buy one and not care what he said b) lisen to him and get myself off during the day with something else i can find c)buy one and have him believe that I dont care what he thinks
2007-01-09 06:11:22 · 39 answers · asked by cireniod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would ask him why he feels threatened by a battery powered piece of plastic.
2007-01-09 06:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 10⤊ 2⤋
I read an article in Cosmo one time that stated that males are facinated by erotic toys; however, there are some males who feel threatened by the size, width and enhance ability that a male's peni.s might not have.
He might feel this vibrator is being compared, if not better than his.
I would NOT go behind his back and get one, then act as if you don't care how he feels. That can make it worse with the information stated above.
This can cause intimate and emotional problems inthe marriage.
Discuss the reasons why and assure him this has no comparison to his as you enjoy his or whatever you say.
My fiance loves toys and all in the bedroom, but too much can lower a guys libedo. So, get kinky but not over do it. At the same time, guys can find enjoyment out of it too as the vibrations help their enhancement.
2007-01-09 07:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you are i a lopsided relationship, things are bound to get ugly once you realize it! Does he ever watch porn? Does he masturbate? Has he ever gone to a strip club? If the answer to any of the above is 'yes', then he he doesn't have a leg to stand on! Besides he must really have low self esteem if he thinks you plan to substitute him for the 'toy'.
Marriage is a place where one should be able to express him or herself without the fear of reprisals. Masturbation is a very intimate form of sexual expression that cannot be denied to anyone regardless of their civil status. If he can't see that, then just buy the 'toy' and make sure you keep it from him! There is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy your own sexuality for the sake of the closed-mindedness of your spouse. Besides there are myriad things around the house that you can use with the same effects. Use your imagination!
Maybe suggest that you can experiment with the 'toy' together. That may turn him on. Do not insist if there is opposition from the beginning.
Good luck and happy orgasms!!!
2007-01-09 06:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well your husband may be threatnend by the vibrator pleasing you more than he is. that may be why he got upset. by the way...why are you asking him anyways? it's not like he owns you or that you work for him. if you want a vibrator, then get one for yourself. if he gets upset from something like a vibrator then there are some other deep rooted issues that your husband has that have been buried. your husband could be insecure about something. don't let his threats control you. if he has a problem with you exploring your own sexuality then maybe you two could do some counseling or even re-evaluate this relatinship. is he like this in any other areas of your life? does he get upset at the fact that you go out, or even communicate with your friends, is he slowly gaining control over other aspects of your life without you knowing it?
2007-01-09 06:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by cfalways 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you think it will hurt him..don't buy one. How would you like if he wanted to get off on porn. Would you mind? Well if you do, remember he feels the same way about a vibrator. He feels that he alone is incapable of satisfying you. If your man feels like he can't satisfy you, he will try and satisfy some other woman. So be careful how you deal with this.
2007-01-09 07:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by athomemom74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait a while then ask him again later. I would keep bringing it up in a nice non-confrontational conversation. It's like selling him on the idea. Wear him down that way. Introduce the reasons why it would be beneficial for you to have a vibrater. Make sure the ideas are sexy and hot so they'll make him horny.
2007-01-09 07:02:35 · answer #6 · answered by guina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say talk to him. Do not go out and get it and use it behind his back. There's no need to be sneaky about it. I really don't see what harm it is but I went through the same thing. He even purchased them but when he discovered I was using them without him being present he would get an attitude about it. It's really weird that a piece of plastic could cause so much jealousy but it did.
2007-01-09 06:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow ... what a putts ... lol ... sorry he sounds horrible ... " I'll leave you if you buy a vibrator "
I'd have a long talk to him about it ... give him reasons why you want one ... give him the pros and cons of it ... tell him if you buy a vibrator - you'll want MORE sex ... not less ... the more arousing you do ... the more sex you'll get in the long run ... tell him you're going to buy one ... test it out ( together ) and see how it goes ... if he doesn't like it then you can throw it out ... ( or hide it really well ... lol ... )
2007-01-09 06:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every woman needs a vibrator. I used to have alot of them until my husband acted as if he was jealeous of them. Yes jealous. The size of a vibrator and the size of your husband may be diffrent in size (width and length). men don't want their women getting off on a bigger d*ck. they think you might go out and find a real warm bigger d*ck. So to save you from all the trouble....understand this and just get your self off another way during the day, it's too much trouble to go out and buy one and try to hide it, shoot, the dog might find it and start playing with it then your husband will really be pissed. ha ha
2007-01-09 06:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by toonice 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him the vibrator is no threat to him. It's just a toy.
Sexually insecure men are threatened by sex toys sometimes because they view it as a "replacement." Tell him there's so much more you have to offer him than this piece of plastic.
The vibrator can't make you feel safe and secure. It can't kiss you deeply or cuddle with you after sex. It's a machine and it doesn't threaten him. He needs to know that.
Maybe he would react better if the two of you used it together a few times.
2007-01-09 06:17:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
D) none of the above....ya'll need to talk this out more. I think that he may have written it off to soon without a good explanation, but he might have a good explanation hes not telling you that you need to get out of him before you do this. You said you have a healthy relationship, so you should be cool with talkin this out, otherwise I think your sex life might hit a few sick days!
2007-01-09 06:45:19 · answer #11 · answered by bridezilla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋