yesterday I posted "wife's sister - What do I tell?" Well now I'm really messed up....?

Question

The overwheliming advise I got was come clean with your wife. This was my post...

At a holiday party I did my wifes sister -- she's 20 my wife is 35 - It was hot and we both want more -- but I'm conflicted. I love my wife but the sex is that -- only sex. What woould you do? Come clean with my wife? Cut it off and hope no one finds out (the sister will be mad) or keep it up (which is what I really want to do but...


Well I decided to tell my wife and hope for the best -- as several poeple pointed out my sister in law would splii the beans eventually -- better to cut my losses. What happened next is firghtening and I don't know how to deal with it. My wife seems to break down crying -- but after she got under control she informed me that she had been havinf an affair with our neighbor -- she apparently had given this a lot of thought and she wants a polyamourous relationship. We love each other and neither want do stop--she knows all about polyamourus -- anyone know if this works?

Answer 1

Well, that is kinda hard to believe but if it is true then is it not exactly what you wanted? The way I see it that is just about the best outcome from those circumstances. So, I guess you guys should get to F****ing.

Answer 2

My wife would of turned into Lorinna Lobobit.....and wouldn't told no one where it was......this isn't going to work what if she gets pg and who is going to be the father and what about your in-laws they are going to have a cow I believe the only reason why you wanted the sister is because she ios young and that makes men cheat and your wife was cheating because her husband wasn't at home to give her any so that is the reason marriage falls apart here in America no body wants to stay together anymore..... It's not to say that entry-level men who make minimum salaries don't cheat, but it's also pretty clear that powerful men with the means to withdraw hefty sums of cash (for hotels, gifts, prostitutes) are often candidates. It's not just because they have more options; it's also because they think their invincibility in the office will also extend to their private lives, which they assume will remain private no matter how high-profile they may be. Arrogance is a form of blindness, after all.I'm not saying it's right, and I'm not saying it's fair, but some men can feel like they're last in the family pecking order once the gaggle of children dominates schedules, time, and his wife's attention. That doesn't mean that kids drive their fathers to cheat, nor does it mean that families are to blame. It just means that the situation can make some men more vulnerable to be influenced by...Plain and simple: The Internet has made it easier for men to feel safer-in everything from looking for dates and mates to sending innuendo-laced IMs to the hot coworker on the third floor. The apparent safety of flirting in his own keyboard can build an unhealthy feeling that everything he's doing is OK, making it more likely he can slip into making some very stupid choices. An addictive personality only compounds the problem

Answer 3

That's crazy and you two are not going to ever be happy. You may think that this is going to work but trust me, divorce is in your near future. Marriage is supposed to be something sacred and you both messed up. Cheating is cheating but I feel that you made a terrible decision by sleeping with the sister. She probably lives with her too doesn't' she? That's ****** up and I would leave you too but hey if she wants to stick around for the bull then she's just as much a cheater as you and you two are going to have a dis functional relationship so good luck.

Who knows, maybe you two can work but I doubt it because eventually someone is going to get tired of someone having sex with other people.

Answer 4

Sounds like you were "set up" by the wife and sister. Wife asked sister to seduce you - then when she "found out" she could confess about her affair - then everything would be OK. Where you go from here depends on where you want to go. Does the sister want you to get a divorce and marry her? I doubt it. Do you want to live in a family who likes to have sex with whomever they want? That's up to you. I don't think I would like it - sounds as if you and your wife need marriage counseling.

Answer 5

Your wife is most likely lying. I seriously doubt the affair. I think she is telling you what she told you to test if you love her and want her, or not.

What your wife is telling you, in otherwise discreet terms, is that your relationship is over and she wants out.

She is never going to forgive you for being with her little sister. She will feel old, ugly, and unwanted when it comes to intimacy with you for the rest of her life. You cut her deep there. If you loved her you would know that.

Answer 6

You know, every time i read about husband's & wives cheating on each other & then saying it's o.k., it makes me realize just how many idiots there are in this world who brag to be true & good people but really in the long run, they are just pretending to be.
I feel sorry for you both because you need some serious help.

Answer 7

ok,,,,,for arguments sake lets imagine your wifes sister now gets suddenly bored with you as the challenge of hurting her sister is gone,,and this is what this affair is about,,,she needs to get one up over the older sister who perhaps on the surface looks like she has it all,,,,she dumps you as she has done with you now,,your wife is already with another man while you and her stay living together,,,how exactly will it feel when you know where your wife is going,,and you do because you have basically given permission for her to continue with this arrangement,,and you have nowhere to go,,no extra marital affair,sister or otherwise,,will it be good then,,? if this is how you and your wife want to treat each other ,fine,,,,but if neither of you are happy at least one of you should have the guts to stand up and say you want someone who wants you,,this could be very bad for both your self-esteem and how you look at future relationships.surely if you found someone who truly loved you and them you,,you wouldnt want to do this kind of thing!each to their own though and if it works out,bugger me i say!

Answer 8

Polyamory only works if Everyone involved agrees to the situation. It takes alot of conversation and trust to be in a polyamorous relationship.
Do some research and share your findings with your wife, neighbor and sister in law. If you all are into it, then I hope you all the best.

http://www.polyfamilies.com/

Answer 9

Er. I know how it works but starting this sort of lifestyle based on deceit and lies can't be good. I've included links about the lifestyle because I am all for people expanding their knowledge base, but I will be honest, I do not think this sort of lifestyle is going to work for you two in the long run.

Answer 10

I think after the thrill wears off for one of you then you are headed for a whole lot of heartache and trouble. Probably divorce.